You’re Not Crazy, You’re Mourning: Grief from the Loss of Your Dog

I miss you, Spoon.
I miss you, Spoon.

To love a dog is to truly know the meaning of unconditional love. If you were lucky enough to share your life with a dog, especially a ‘soulmate dog’ who has passed or is nearing the end of life, then you also have the flip-side of such a strong relationship: grief. Every experience of grief is unique, so you can’t really be prepared for the loss of your dog.

Some of the things that you might do or think while grieving may make you think you are going crazy. This article will help you understand some of the common feelings, behaviors, and thoughts that may come with the loss of your dog. It is my hope that while an article can’t get rid of the sadness or fill the empty hole in your heart, it may encourage you to find a way to grow from this experience and see it as yet another gift from your dog. 

Is my grief normal? How long will this last?

You may be surprised to have so much grief from the loss of your dog, or to be experiencing grief before your dog is even gone. This grief is completely normal, and may be misunderstood by the people around you. They may accuse you of overreacting. It is, after all, ‘just a dog.’ You may even tell yourself that and try to avoid working through your grief or want to ‘get rid of it’ as soon as possible.

Your grief will probably not be gone in a few weeks or even months. Because of the special relationship we have with our dogs, grief of a beloved dog can often be more intense than the death of a family member, and coming to terms with the change will take as long as it takes. The good news is that you do not have to ‘get over’ the loss of your dog; you do not have to forget your dog. Mourning and processing your grief will allow you to change the relationship with the tangible dog of fur and drool to a relationship with a dog within your own heart and mind. Your dog will always be there, as will your love.

Other losses cause grief, too

There are many losses that we grieve, whether we are aware of it or not. If you do not consciously process that grief, it can remain dormant until the next loss, and over time, you build up a big pile of losses as time goes on, and sometimes a loss is so strong that you are forced to grieve not only that loss, but others as well. So instead of just the one loss, you are processing a “multiple loss” of the current loss plus whatever else you have lost in the past. Some of life’s experiences that can cause grief are:

  • Death of family friends, pets
  • Loss/change of a home, moving away from parents, etc.
  • Loss/change of a job or job description
  • Birth of a child / acquisition of a dog (loss of the lifestyle that came before)
  • Hysterectomy (loss of ability to give birth)
  • Divorce (loss of partner, lifestyle, and can involve the loss of kids or pets)
  • Kids moving out (loss of current family lifestyle)
  • Break-ups with friends or friends moving away

Seven Principles of Grief

The idea that every loss is a multiple loss is one of the Seven Principles of Grief by J. Shep Jeffries (2007). If you want a giant overview of the grief process, I recommend you read that book. Here is his full list of grief principles:

  • Principle One: You cannot fix or cure grief.
  • Principle Two: There is no one right way to grieve.
  • Principle Three: There is no universal timetable for the grief journey.
  • Principle Four: Every loss is a multiple loss.
  • Principle Five: Change=Loss=Grief.
  • Principle Six: We grieve old loss while grieving new loss.
  • Principle Seven: We grieve when a loss has occurred or is threatened.

I’m losing my mind. Is that normal, too?

Yup. Many people (especially ones without dogs) don’t understand that dog lovers experience real, strong grief when they lose their dogs. They may give their condolences upon first hearing of your loss, but may not realize that you continue to be in pain as time goes on, and wonder why you are still crying, irritable, or otherwise ‘not yourself’ as time passes. You may wonder, yourself, whether you are going crazy. Here are some cognitive symptoms of grief, from J. Shep Jeffrey’s book, “Helping Grieving People” (2007, Kindle Locations 1462-1480):

  • Responding sluggishly to questions
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Loss of interest in usual activities—work, sports, games, collecting, social clubs,
  • Loss of pleasure—avoids sex, entertainment, food, and social events
  • General numbness—shutdown of reactions to social stimuli, no pain, and no joy
  • Intrusive thoughts about the loss—constant barrage of thoughts
  • Confusion and disorientation—difficulty with time sequences, location
  • A sense of futility about life—”What’s the use?” and “Why bother?”
  • A sense of helplessness—”Can’t do anything to help myself”
  • Uncertainty about identity—”Who am I now?” and “How do I present myself to others now?”
  • So-called “crazy” thoughts—hearing or seeing the lost loved one; feeling like they can communicate with them
  • Mental fatigue—too tired to figure things out, mind just won’t work

5 Tips for Self-Care

These are things you can do to help even if your loss was a long time ago. You will always love your dog. But if the loss was recent or tears still overcome you whenever you think of your dog, the grief may not be fully processed, and your health and relationships can suffer because of it. There are many other things to do, but here are five important ways you can take care of yourself.

  1. Feel your feelings without shame. You grieve the loss of your dog because you are human and you truly love your dog. Your feelings are real and need to be honored.
  2. Express your feelings and talk about the experience of your dog’s life and death or loss. Talk to friends, post online, or take a look at the chat rooms in the Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement website. It is normal (but incorrect) for other people to assume you can move on quickly, because it wasn’t their loss. Don’t count on people to bring up your loss. They may think that avoiding it will make you feel better. Denial may help, in the short term, but it will come back to haunt you. If your own personal network is tired of hearing about your loss, then go to a support group and/or connect with people online. You don’t have to spend any time with friends who belittle your loss, compare your loss to theirs, or change the conversation to be about them instead of you and your dog.A lot of us try to be stoic, but we’re not doing anyone any favors if we don’t process our grief, because it can come out in other unpleasant ways (back pain, crankiness, overemotionality, underemotionality, lack of ability to form good relationships, you name it).
  3. Honor your dog’s life with some sort of ‘shrine.’ Put together a slideshow or video of your dog’s life, like the ones I made for Spoon and Peanut (below). Make a collage for your wall with photos and/or your dog’s collar. Do a memorial ceremony where friends and family who knew your dog talk about his life and how it affected them. Create a web site in honor of your dog.
  4. Give yourself permission to not grieve all the time. It’s okay to be happy even after the loss of your dog. It's okay to enjoy the pets that you still have with you, too. You can set time aside to not grieve, or set time aside to grieve, whatever works for you.
  5. Hydrate, exercise, eat, and get out of bed. Dogs can provide companionship, exercise, and even give us a reason to get up in the morning. Without your dog, you may have to push yourself to do these things, but it will become easier over time.Without water, it's easy to fall into a downward spiral.  Light exercise, like walking around the block, can have a great effect on your mood. Walking where you normally went with your dog may bring up a lot of memories with your dog. Allow yourself to feel the grief of that loss but when you are ready, also to remember the joy you shared with your dog.

4 Healing Tasks for the Grieving Person or Family

As I’ve said before, everyone’s grief is different, but the Jeffries book that I mentioned before lists five things that you might do as you mourn your dog’s death or loss. I wanted to share this with you because you may be more familiar with the outdated idea that there are stages. Instead, we simply encounter grief in waves and eventually (if we’re persistent) work our way through these five tasks in our own personal order.

  1. Sharing Acknowledgment of Death or Loss. Really, truly understand the finality of the loss. This is where having a shrine and memorial ceremony come in. Work on open communication about the death in your family, including children, in an age-appropriate way. Doing something together as a family to celebrate the life of the dog and mourn the loss can help heal, as can involving friends.Pre-Loss Tip: If your dog hasn't yet passed, please read this. One way to give your brain time to feel the finality of the loss is to  keep your dog's body at home for a few days, and to take part in the cremation or burial instead of just leaving your dog's body at the vet. Before rigor mortis sets in, curl your dog into a sleeping position with the chin tilted slightly up (so nothing runs out - sorry it's gross but true). Place an absorbent cloth under your dog in case there is any leakage from the other end. Stay home, don't work, don't talk about anything you don't want to talk about. You can keep your dog home for up to 1-2 days: when rigor mortis fades and the body starts to soften again (after about 3 days) it's truly time to do the funeral.
  2. Sharing the Pain and Grief. Talk about the loss and keep talking. Express emotions. Feel. Don’t be surprised if your partner expresses his or her pain differently. That’s normal and does not mean s/he is a monster. Do not hold in what you are feeling in order to keep someone else from feeling bad. It’s good for both of you to talk about your guilt, anger, shame, pain, etc.
  3. Reorganizing the Family System. This is the logistical part of loss, as in “now I have only one dog to feed, not two.” Or “Do I bury my dog or cremate her or both?”  “How do I deal with the change of relationship with my remaining animals?” “Now that the dog-reactive dog is no longer with us, should we start going on more walks with the other one?”
  4. Creating New Directions, Relationships, and Goals. This is not a fast process, not a goal to reach as quickly as possible, but be aware that this is something that is healthy to do. This task might involve getting a new dog or other pet, perhaps the same breed or perhaps a different one. It might mean deciding to volunteer at a shelter to get your dog fix in some other way, or doing the traveling that you couldn’t do with your dog.If your dog was reactive or had other behavior problems, you might feel guilty about seeing his or her passing as an opportunity, but it’s also a realistic truth. This final task is about moving on and exploring new options for your life now that the situation has changed, while still holding your dog in a special place in your heart. Task four also involves exploring the possibility of your loss as a profound self-development experience. More on that next.

Your dog’s final gift to you

Life with a dog can teach you a lot: how to live in the moment, how to enjoy the smell of fresh-mown grass or the first snow of the year to its fullest, even how to forgive. The death of your dog can also teach you to live in the moment, give you insight into what it means to be alive, and give you an opportunity for growth. Click here for some lessons I got from Peanut.

This chance to learn is a parting gift from your dog. Joining a pet loss support group (in person or online) and reading books on grief will help you put your grief in perspective and give you a way to continue processing your grief. It’s very important to express your feelings during this time. “The outward expression of grief, or mourning, is how you externalize those thoughts and feelings and ultimately, integrate them into your life” (Wolfelt, 2004, Kindle Locations 47-48).

It may also be helpful to work with a therapist. While the grieving process is not a problem to be fixed, it is a time of tumultuous emotionality, from relief and intense guilt to anger and sadness. The loss of your dog may be an opportunity to understand the grief process and to work on the unprocessed grief of other losses in your life.

Recommended Reading

  • Kowalski, G. (2006). Goodbye, friend: Healing wisdom for anyone who has ever lost a pet. Novato, CA: New World Library.
  • Wolfelt, A. D.  (2004). When your pet dies: A guide to mourning, remembering and healing. Bozeman, MT: Companion Press

I moved this post from another blog. There were so many loving comments from people who had lost their beloved pets that I didn't want to delete them, so here they are. Please post your comments below all of these. Click here to get closer to the "Leave a Reply" box (scroll to go below the Related Articles).

Anne Says:
August 28th, 2011 at 5:12 pm We are experiencing this at the moment having lost my heart dog almost three weeks ago. I am lucky that I work in the animal care industry with so many who understand that losing a dog, especially one so special, is going to have a major impact on your behaviour, emotional state and ability to take part in life. I have amazing support from friends, family, clients and colleagues and it is still difficult so I can’t imagine what is must be like without having that support structure. But I am beginning to be able to appreciate his life and the part I played in it, and he in mine, more and more so healing is on-going. I will say no more as its still difficult to think about it and translate those thoughts to words. Thank you Grisha for writing this.

Grisha Says:
August 28th, 2011 at 9:52 pm Sorry for your loss, Anne. Healing is a process and there are ups and downs. Good luck to you on this journey.

Nancy Says:
August 29th, 2011 at 12:32 pm I’m sorry for your loss Anne. I lost one of my furbabies 4 weeks ago today. He was 14 and diagnosed with lymphoma. I’ve been through chemo and I know “they” say most dogs handle it well, I couldn’t put him through that, not at his age especially. It’s still poison and has to weaken the immune system in dogs like it does people, dogs just don’t complain.Thank you Grisha for writing this. I haven’t lost one in 14 1/2 years until Max 4 weeks ago and the emotional roller coaster is hell. I know friends mean well, but the comments like, you have 3 other dogs or, are you going to “replace” him, hurts. You can never replace one of your “kids” whether 2 or 4 legged and as much as I love my other 3 dogs and 2 cats, they are all unique and it’s not the same in the house, how could it be. Thankfully I have a doc that, even though she doesn’t have dogs, knows how I feel about mine and respects it and gave me a med so I can get some sleep at night and help with the anxiety. I think this article is not only helpful for those of us who have lost our precious, furry child, but hopefully it will help others to at least respect our pain and realize some of us truly do love ours with all our hearts. That unconditional love is one that only animals can give.

Grisha Says:
August 29th, 2011 at 1:21 pm Thanks for sharing, Nancy. There are a lot of things that people do or say that can accidentally hurt, like handing you tissue when you start to cry (versus just letting you talk or cry and having tissue around, in case you need it). Any tips from your own experience that you can share for what people should or should not do would be useful for the people reading this blog.

Connie Says:
August 29th, 2011 at 11:59 pm A very thoughtful and helpful article, Grisha. As a nurse, I’ve done grief counseling with many patients and families, especially when working in the NICU. As someone who works with dogs and their humans, a trainer, handler, doglover…I’ve done grief counseling with many humans, while also helping the human moms and dads come to terms with what they may experience while grieving for their pet. Your article very gently explains the many faces of grief…none of them crazy or wrong. Whether it be the death of a human loved one, or a beloved pet, encouraging the person who is grieving to talk is one of the greatest gifts you can give them. Some people say, “no, that will just upset them.” They are already upset, and letting someone talk about the good times and the sadness helps a person to deal with their grief.It’s been 10 wks since our beloved Sheltie, Jake, crossed the Bridge, but we had 6 months to celebrate his life and slowly prepare for his death. He was 13 1/2 yrs old and started having seizures last November.
What is still hard to think about and talk about is my heart and soul dog, Lacey. Three days before Jake crossed, Lacey was diagnosed with primary lung cancer. A total shock.
On her behalf, I opted out of surgery and the chemo and radiation that would have followed. We were hoping for at least 6 more months with her. It was 5 weeks. I can’t say thank you enough to our vets, their staff and family. My husband has been there for me every step of the way, as have so many of my friends who understand the loss of a beloved pet. Some words can sting, especially when a family member says, “Well, she lived a better life than she would have with someone else, but you have to remember she was just a dog.” Sigh…

Susan Says:
August 30th, 2011 at 5:53 pm Aloha Grisha,My beautiful boy, Bruno crossed over the Rainbow Bridge on Sept. 3, 2009 and I am still griefing the loss of this guy. It was nice to read this and know for sure that I am not crazy. When I adopted him for an older German lady who had him chained as the guard dog, I always told him “You and me together forever.” He went everywhere with me and he was such a people magnet. 130 lbs. of love and joy!! He is in my Heart each and every day. What a blessing having that unconditional love in my life. Nothing like it!! Mahalo nui loa from Maui, Hawaii.

Megan Says:
August 31st, 2011 at 9:44 amThis is very difficult for me to write. If I had my way I would suffer my grief in private, but this article has stirred up deep feelings and I feel if even one pet (or person) can be saved from the heartbreak we suffered by me sharing our experience, it is worth bearing the pain to share our story. Last year our beautiful and beloved 15 month old puppy Ziva drowned in a backyard pool. It was as innocent as a day could be. Beautiful and sunny – our two Boston Terrier dogs, Kaia & Ziva, were playing like crazy and loving the freedom of the fenced backyard at a friend’s home. Many dogs (including our own) have played and enjoyed this yard for years… but something unthinkable happened when everyone was enjoying a perfect summer’s day. One minute the pups were running freely in the yard and the next minute we couldn’t recall Ziva. Kaia was by our side. Ziva has a tendency to wander so we were not overly concerned at first until after the traditional “Treat! Treat! Treat!” call was met with no response. Subtle panic set in as we immediately thought she had gotten out from the fenced yard and had wandered into the woods or across the busy road. It wasn’t until our friend said “We should check the pool.” She also immediately said – “But I am sure she is not there.”, but she was wrong. The solar bubble cover was on half the pool and as we rolled it back we saw our beloved Ziva lying at the bottom. We dove in and pulled her out. We did CPR, mouth to mouth, and everything we could think of to revive her, but we were too late. We will never know if she fell in while playing with Kaia; if she was trying to get a drink and leaned in too far; or if she was just simply chasing a butterfly (as she is known to do) and didn’t look where she was running; but somehow no one saw or heard her jump or fall into the pool where she couldn’t manage to get out again. You will never know the grief and overwhelming guilt we all feel about this accident. It is as strong today as it was then. Ziva was one of the most loving and wonderful dogs we have ever known. We only had her in our lives for a few months, but we know she enjoyed her time with us immensely and Kaia was her best friend. My heart will never heal from the loss of our dear Ziva. She came into our lives unexpectedly and left us just as unexpectedly. But the message I wish to share with everyone and the lesson we can all take away from this tragedy is that every place is an unexpected hazard to our pets. Where dozens of dogs had been perfectly safe was a place of danger to our darling Ziva. Please always look with extra cautious eyes at all your surroundings and where you leave your dogs and other animals. Where we see familiar places and safe circumstances, may in fact be dangerous situations for our dear pets. There is no way to foresee every possible, imaginable hazard, but please – because of our loss – please look at least at backyard pools as potential dangers and please do everything you can to keep your pets safe. The loss of a pet from old age and disease is absolutely heartbreaking, but losing a pet in an accident which you feel could have been avoided carries a level of guilt that compounds the pain that will never leave you. Thank you for reading this and all the bests to you and your loved ones (2 legged and 4 legged ones included). Rest in peace dear Ziva. We love you.

Sharon Says:
September 1st, 2011 at 5:38 amPeople who are mourning a pet also can visit the online chatrooms of the Association of Pet Loss and Bereavement. It’s a safe place where people can share emotions. No matter whether a pet is lost to accident, illness, old age, gone missing or stolen, or any other tragic circumstance, people in the chatroom support each other and understand the pain since they have experienced it themselves. The main website is

Chrissy Says:
September 8th, 2011 at 4:02 pm Hi everyone,
I just wanted to let you know that I have read all the stories posted here and hope that it brings me some solitude to an aging dog.
I have a Great Dane that is not in good condition and I know that I must put him down and it is killing me to even think of it. He has trouble breathing and if he gets over excited he cannot breathe, causing him to gasp for air. This came on suddenly and it is in his lineage of danes so I know he cannot go on for long.
I am hoping I can cope with the loss as I am tearful already and it hurts worse than losing a loved one. He has been with me since he was born and now he is 7 and I keep praying that it is not the end yet but I know it is.
So I know where all of you are comming from and the intensive pain that follows, my only hope is that I can function normaly, but I must admit losing him will really put the dampers on any thing I do.
Hope more people have comments that will help me ease the pain. Thanks to everyone for their stories and I know what you have felt. Thanks again
Kristina Callender Says:
October 7th, 2011 at 10:24 amHello Grisha,One of your students is a collegue of mine that told me about your services and suggested I reach out to tell you about my pet loss support groups in Northgate. I facilitate a Dog Gone 4 week pet loss support group to help end the isolation that comes with pet loss.

diane krieger Says:
February 3rd, 2013 at 10:53 amAloha Grisha and thank you for hosting this forum and for
your thoughts. I just lost my 13 year and 5 month old beautiful
girl, an American Eskimo, I’ve had from her first breath until her
last.. just a week ago. I am devastated and the guilt for all that
led to her death over the past few years. Living on a golf course
for a year and a half and allowing her to run on that toxic grass,
full of pesticides. Moving to a beautiful area on Kauai where she
could be on the beach and swim. But also an area where
irrresponsible owners of aggressive dogs allow them to attack the
innocent. My dog had to have two surgeries and insane amounts of
anesthesia, anti-biotics along with the shots, flea and worming
meds they say are necessary. I guess I’m writing all of this, so
that others won’t make the same mistakes. My dog died of liver
disease, brought on by choices I made and my guilt is unbearable.
My dog knows and always knew how much I loved her and she keeps
reminding me to remember that, but it’s so painful to have gone
through her physical lose of and her absence now and ever more. I
know she will always be with me in spirit and I am so grateful for
the gift of the unconditional love we’ve shared all this time. The
communication we had the last night together on the floor, in a
moment of telepathic understanding was beyond words. Had she been
looking so deeply into my eyes for all these years and this was the
only time I tuned into her and listened enough to hear her? Her
patience with me through all of these years was saintly. She wanted
to pass naturally and in my heart of hearts, I knew we were meant
to have that experience together, but well meaning friends
convinced me to ‘get the vet there asap’. He came to my home the
next morning, when she was already so close to going. It just
wasn’t necessary to intervene with her process. She was fine with
it and though she wanted to stay as long as possible, she was in
the moment with her reality. The vet did not explain to me what he
was going to do. When he gave her the sedative, she clearly said
with her eyes: ‘NO’, but relaxed into it when I told her it was
okay. The vet than came into the room 20 minutes later and had me
lay her on the floor, where he proceeded to put a lethal syringe
(enough for a horse) directly into her heart. I told him ‘this is
NOT necessary’, but he said it was quick. I was in shock and left
traumatized. In this case, with my dog not in pain, but passing
naturally in eye contact with me, our final and profound moments
together were stolen. The lesson here is: FOLLOW YOUR HEART AND THE
GUIDANCE OF YOUR ANIMAL. Do not let anyone or anything lead you
from that path. I ask my beloved friend for forgiveness and I know
as always, for all the times she wanted to go to the beach and said
‘hold on’, for not being on the floor with her for a week instead
of one night… she forgives, as selflessly as she loved. These
‘just dogs’…. they are light beings, they are our sacred
teachers, they are our hearts. Her name was ‘Pua’ and she will live
on in me.

Marianella Torres Says:
May 18th, 2013 at 12:35 amMy beautiful and amazing dog died 2 weeks ago. He was a 12 year old Chinese sharpie, I’m so depressed and devasteded with his dead. He was a very healthy dog all his life, he was my best friend, my companion, in other words tommy was everything for me. As I’m writing this tears are going down my face. My heart is broken in a million pieces. I can’t comprehend that he is not here anymore, it is very difficult for me!!! I took him to the vet on April 18 because he was limping from his front leg, they did x rays, and told me that he had arthritis, but they said that his heart and lungs were ok, so they gave me all the medication for pain and also antiflamatories. A few days later tommy was a little better, but after that he started coughing and I got really worried, because he was not the same dog. I took him to the vet again, and they said that he was not looking good. They took x rays of his lungs and discover that he had all this white patches around, and then they said they needed to do an ultrasound and a niddel aspiration of the lung to be sure what could it be the problem. After that they came out with 3 possible results. Cancer, a bacteria, or a fungus. They send the sample from the niddle aspiration of the lung to a lab to see if that would it give them better results, but that was done on wesnday and tommy died on Friday!!! We were at the house and he couldn’t breath. I was very despereted to see him that way. I felt helpless that I couldn’t help him,so I rush to the vet with him when you got there they gave him oxigene. I tought that he was getting better with the oxigene and the doctor said he will keep him there all night to make sure I could breath, so I felt I was doing the right thing for him leaving him there. But after approximately 40 minutes of giving him oxigene I was in the waiting room and one of the nurses can and said run they are giving him CPR I rush to see him, but the doctor didn’t let me enter the room. I was so devasteded and I started crying, because I knew in my heart that he died and I couldn’t say goodbye. I fell that I let him down that I should of taking him to the vet earlier. I felt soooooo much pain in my heart even days before he died, but now is even worse I fell so empty without him my life is not the same anymore I don’t knowwhat to do with all this pain. I cry all the time I miss him so much, he gave all his unconditional love. We were in love with each other our bond was so strong unbreakable. I felt that every time he looked at me his eyes were penetrating my soul…. My life will never be the same without him I have an empty heart and soul… They gave me his ashes 3 days ago and I have the box with them on top of one of my night stand tables to fell that he is closer to me… I think I’m going to go to a loss counselor because I need a lot of help. Tommy I love you sooooooooo very much, I hope you can forgive me….. Lani…

michelle Laurienti Says:
May 22nd, 2013 at 8:11 amMy beloved Belly buttons left behind her sister of 9 years, and me her mother, best friend soul mate, i have had my girls since birth, being great danes, i knew their life span was short, having had there dad, who lived only 8 years, i did everything right, the best grain free dog food, off to the vet for everything she was a breast cancer surviver And was on Cushings meds. Her sister desa has a titanium hip, i got sick 22 years ago and have wanted 2 give up so many times, my girls would not let me, Belly was my nurse, if i was sleeping too much she would rub her whiskers on my lips, to get me moving, she was my love, life, joy, the breath in my lungs,the light of my life, our souls were connected we could understand each other by a way i cant put into words, i cant hardly wait for my time to go becouse i miss her so much, i am trying to be careful not to let my greif affect her sister, who seems to have given up, i can. oonly get her to eat a little by spoon, it has been 10so days,

michelle Laurienti Says:
May 22nd, 2013 at 9:32 amI meant i have been sick for 2 years not 22, i have been
taking desa everywhere with me i dont want her to give up,but she
will only drink if i bring it to her, or eat if i hand feed her,
she wont eat treats or chew bones anymore how do i will her to
live? I cant loose her too

Robin Says:
May 22nd, 2013 at 12:58 pm I just lost my best friend yesterday so unexpected! Thought it was a pulled muscle, getting ready to go pick him up, vet called and it was a large tumor in his hip. a month to live he said and he would be in pain. I didn’t even get to say goodbye! He was my fourth Dane, and he turned six Saturday. We prayed for a long life, but it wasn’t long enough for me. I didn’t have my coffee drinking buddy this morning. I’m more sad than when my mother died! I don’t understand that. Was it my fault! I’ve had people say when they die they want to come back as my dog! What do I do with his big ole bed? I live in Oklahoma and was able to send his bedding and bowls and towels I dried him with to a shelter for misplaced dogs from the tornado. Lives lost 24, including children, I feel so guilty crying for my dog! But I know it’s ok. Bye Bishop!

Pam Says:
July 10th, 2013 at 7:18 pm I am so devastated still by the loss of my 2 beautiful doggies. They were 14 years old and I had them since they were 8 week old puppies. Lacey had a large liver mass and started having grand mal seizures. After have 4 of them in 2 days I could not let my baby suffer so the vet put her to sleep in my arms. 3 weeks and 2 days later, her sister Sweet pea died in my husband’s arms from renal failure. I loved those dogs more than I love myself. I can’t even think about them because I cannot bear the grief that comes with facing their loss. I yearn so much just to hold them, to smell them, to feel their warmth next to me. It does help to look at their pictures. I feel so alone and I am mad at God for taking the both of them. My life will never have the meaning it once did, and I will never be the same. They were a part of my family, and the love they had for me nothing else will ever replace.
Thanks for this website. It helps to know that there is validity of my feelings.

Susan Says:
September 2nd, 2013 at 1:23 pm I lost my Sofie 8 months ago and I still cry everyday for her. Sometimes I think I am going to go crazy without her. My niece was here this weekend with her dog and I didn’t know how I was going to react. Well, I felt like Paisley was in Sofie’s home and I didn’t like it at all. Now I know there is no way I can get another dog until this grief subsides. Sofie meant the world to me. She was born in Africa and we flew her to Idaho which thankfully after days of travel she made it fine. She had 7 wonderful years here hiking, swimming and just enjoying life. At 11 she got cancer but my wonderful Vet and Washington State Vet School did surgery and radiation on her. She was good for 3 more years then she started to fail. I wouldn’t give up. Tons of meds, organic food that I made and acupuncture for pain was the last 3 years of her life. Her Vet came to house to put her to sleep. I was so nervous and upset as Sofie was my husband’s and my life. For 3 months afterwards I just sat and stared at the park our house is attached to. Now 8 months later I can function but cry all the time, and really just want her back which I know is impossible. Sofie lived till she was 14 1/2 years old and I know she struggled the last 6 months of her life. I would scream at her Vet saying to do anything to save her. I must of seemed crazy. So thankfully when I do go on these grieving sites and I see that other people are feeling what I am feeling I know that I am not alone. There are other people who seem to be caught up in this grief as I am. This Fall I am planning to get out and try to start living again. Hope it works

Holly Says:
September 11th, 2013 at 6:35 amThank you for this article. I needed it today. We lost our beloved dog, Abby two days ago. When I say we, I mean not only my family but Abby’s daughter, Saddie as well. It’s just not been the same in our house. All the noises that were there when we got home to be greeted by the “girls”. The constant race to get to the doggy door to investigate the neighbor dogs, the begging for scraps at the table. All of it has changed without Abby there. We knew since Christmas of last year when she exhibited her first seizure that her health was in decline. We prepared for it, talked to our 3 year old about it and yet, we were still unprepared to come home to find Abby in the shape that she was in. We had been taking her to the vet, trying to seek answers. We had her on seizure medication but I knew her attacks were getting worse and the vet suspected that she had a tumor either in her brain or in her pancreas and with her deterioration, cancer was also suspected. She was 12 years old when we had to put her down. I’ve been trying to put on a brave face for our 3 year old. I’ve been trying to act normal around Saddie and yet we grieve, both of us. I’ve started to take her on walks in the afternoon and I’ve been sticking to the gym. My poor husband hasn’t said much more than a few words. I know he is processing through his own grief but I can’t get him to talk about it. It’s like we’ve lost a child, not a pet.

Grisha Says:
September 11th, 2013 at 12:12 pm Thank you all for sharing…
Shawn Says:
October 22nd, 2013 at 11:38 pm It’s been ten days since I lost my little Chok-di. I’ve had some good days and some bad days. Today was the worst day I’ve had since I brought her cremains home a week ago. I am beginning to think my family was cursed by a witch (not as crazy as it sounds I am an anthropologist). I miss her so much.

Fiona Says:
November 8th, 2013 at 6:16 amI got my little girl as a house warming present when I was 26, six months later I was diagnosed with a terminal cancerous tumor behind my eye. My little girl bailey spent the next 2 years of her life right next to me, through surgery and chemo and eventually remission. I never forgot taking her puppy years away nor the joy she brought me during those very scary times. Since then she moved with me, went through a couple of relationships with me and all was planned for her to be at the ceremony and reception of my wedding. In amongst all this my partner and I discovered we couldn’t have children naturally so went through the process of ivf. Before ivf we went on a holiday and the day before we left little bailey was coughing, like she was choking on something. I asked my mother to take her to get an X-ray whilst we were gone. I retuned to find out the xraynhad revealed a massive tumor in her chest, eating and drinking was really hard for her. We started ivf and just after the transfer we had to make the decision to let her go. It was the saddest moment of my life. We never got a baby through any of our ivf. She never made it to our wedding. It’s now 9 months since she’s gone and it’s really hit me how much of a loss she was. In amongst a wedding and ivf I never really got to mourn her properly. She was so many things to me for over 13 years, my heart still breaks but I am so lucky to have had just a love and closeness to something like I had with her. I don’t get snuggles at bedtime and my little girl lying in my arms like a little teddy bear but I also know many people will never have had an affinity with something like I had her. So never feeling guilty over the grief of a pet. It’s a well deserved emotion that really belongs to the amazing gift of a dog.

Nicole Says:
November 17th, 2013 at 11:18 pm I just lost my dog today. Sugar the Shihtzu, she was a therapy dog for children and seniors. She was so stubborn about staying in the yard and on a leash no matter what training I tried. So tonight I heard brakes and tires squeal and sugar screaming out in pain. She never stop screaming and crying untill the vet gave her the injection to put her to sleep. I was in a bad relationship when I got sugar and went through so much with her. It was like she helped me and gave me strength. My ex could treat my how he wanted but when he went for her I had to leave. She slept with me every night even shared my pillow. I never went anywhere without her. She even would go to the fancy hair salon for color extensions in her tail. I just am so lost but know it will get better it’s just nice to have somewhere to share my story

Drew Says:
November 21st, 2013 at 7:33 pm I just put my 13 year old mixed shep/lab Lucky boy down two days ago and I am just on a roller coaster of emotions. To look at him sitting down on his bed in the middle of everything you’d think he was 3 or 4. All ways happy, with a bit relaxed grin on his face softly bobbing his bead to the beat of his breathing. Never complained or cried for attention- just as long as he got a little of the focus here and there. He developed arthritis and degenerative myo in his rear and started to really show it about a year ago- trouble getting out of the truck to go play or the curling of a back paw when he stood in one place for a while. That’s what I’m grieving- the fact that- outside of his hips getting bad- there was nothing wrong with him. No deafness or loss of sight. He ate like a horse and loves going for walks on the beach. I read so many of you have had these horrifying cancers and diseases that you’ve had to endure with your dogs- I feel for you most sincerely- but mine was taken from me because of some stupid hip problem. I know he was in pain and this is just me being selfish but that he had to DIE really just destroys my heart. He did have a great life and NOBODY will greive me as much as I do him. It was merciful and humane to put him down but this really sucks. I’m going to honor his memory and wait for him to bring me my new friend. Love you, little pal- always

Pam Says:
November 22nd, 2013 at 1:53 pm I just read your comment and I just wanted you to know how sorry I am for your loss. I lost my 2 babies within 9 days of each other in June and it was devastating. Things have gotten a little better, but the deep sting of loss will always be there.
Just know that I will be praying for you and there are many of us who understand what you are going through, and you are not alone.

Sue Says:
December 12th, 2013 at 5:04 pm I lost my handsome, wonderful 18 month old German Shepherd,
Levi, to Lymphoma on 12/10/2013.. Two days ago. My heart is broken,
and I miss him constantly..I find myself thinking that I need to
get home to feed him and give him his medicine, or let him go
outside. I wake up and expect to see house is so quiet
without him..I am devastated and I feel so sad..18 months old is
too young. He was such a handsome boy…

Connie Says:
January 7th, 2014 at 9:07 pm I have been devastated since the death of my 10 year out cocker spaniel, Joey. He would have been ten on January 5, 2014, but he died on December 6th, 2013. He died of an enlarged heart and complications from that. I only knew he had that illness the same day that he died. He was fine up until 12/6. He was shaking uncontrollably when my husband took him outside at 8:00 a.m. on 12/6, so I called the vet and took him right into his office. They said he had a high fever and after taking xrays they found that he had an enlarged heart and fluid on the lungs. This all happened so fast, as Joey was fine up until that morning. They gave him Lasix and antibiotics, and I was with him for 3 hours in the vets office. They said I could take him home as his temp was down, and he peed which was good as it meant the Lasix was working. They took a heart test to see if his heart was damaged, and said I would know those results the next Monday. I took my Joey home around 11:15 a.m. and he peed outside, then he ate and drank, but only 4 hours after leaving the vet with Joey, he started going in circles and turning his head to the right. My husband and I got in the car to take him back to the vet around 3:30 p.m. and while we were backing down our driveway with Joey in my arms, to go the vet, Joey lifted his head up high, like he could not breathe and I started to cry and tell him I loved him and he would be okay, but then his head fell down on my lap and he died. We just sat in the car and cried and cried. We drove to the vet and they said that a blood clot from his damaged heart must have gone to his brain. I haven’t stopped crying since this all happened. What made things worse is that my daughter’s beagle, Fred, died only one month before on Nov. 7, of kidney failure. My daughter and Fred have lived with us for 5 years. Fred and Joey were great pals. We are grieving over the loss of them both. Life is not normal in our house and won’t be for a long time. I keep reliving the day that my Joey died and feel so guilty, that maybe there was something that I could have done for him. What gets me, is that I had Joey in the vets office 3 weeks before he died for a general all over check up, as I wanted to be sure he did not have what Fred had, and the vet told me that Joey was in excellent health. SO, if he was in such excellent health, then why did he have an enlarged heart 3 weeks later? I am angry and so heartbroken that I don’t feel I can bare this loss. I miss him terribly. Joey was barely 10. Fred was almost 12. I feel that Joey should have lived a lot longer than 10 years. He was the sweetest, most lovable soul mate, and I will never, ever forget him. How does one get over such a loss? My life will never be the same.

Jack Says:
February 11th, 2014 at 9:28 amWe put our 11 year old beautiful American Bulldog down yesterday evening. She was a very special pooch and will leave a gaping hole in our family. I can’t believe how a family pet can make you love them with all your heart and they have never spoken a word their entire life. It’s only been a day and I’m crying like a child I’m 36 mind you. I will forever remember and love you Electra. R.I.P. Our beautiful girl.

Yuzo Yamada Says:
February 15th, 2014 at 7:06 pm My dog, Jay, was put down on Friday, February 14, 2014. He was my life, and I am in shambles right now. The pain is overwhelming, and I wish it would go away soon. He was the sweetest pitbull, and anyone who met him would have felt the same way. His life slipped away in my arms through euthanasia…he licked my face the entire time before he went. A good part of me left with him.RIP Jay, I hope I see you again.

Verysadmom Says:
February 27th, 2014 at 6:29 pm I haven’t loss my dog through death. I was forced to drive a long way and place my 9 month old puppy in a cage. I’m crying since y walked away. I took a picture of her. I’m broken, I want her backm but the person who force me to drive there gave his contact information, but I think I can still prov I’m her owner. Wish me luckm she is very attached to me.

cindy Says:
April 5th, 2014 at 7:20 pm I lost my best friend. I am so stuck. We were his 4th home . When I got him the vet thought he was 3-4. He had a brain tumor -he was 20. I have no one to really share this pain with. People wonder “why are you still crying” its been a week already”. I wake up and there are no brown eyes looking at me for his breakfast or the last few spoons of my cereal. He’s not by my shower door when I get out. He’s not watching me do laundry and his head isn’t on my lap when I watch TV or read I’m carring around his blanket. I am lost…………….

Barkley's Girl Says:
May 16th, 2014 at 6:31 pm I’m in tears reading the stories of other pet parents. My Barkley went to wait for me at the Rainbow Bridge on August 26, 2013. I’m still broken up about losing him. He was my first pet and we were together for almost 14 years. I call him my “doggy Lama” because he taught me so many lessons about life, love, and loss. I too worry that maybe I didn’t do enough or maybe made the wrong decision to euthanize him. I have to remind myself that I love him and I loved him enough to be willing to let him go when his little body couldn’t contain the beautiful soul and loving heart he shared with me and my family every single day of our time together. I love you Barkley. Thank you for choosing me!

Sarah Riedel Says:
June 9th, 2014 at 11:11 amI just wanted to say thank you to the moderators of this site for providing a safe place for grieving pet owners to remember their beloved lost friend and help each other through the many stages of the grieving process. We lost our best friend Ernie this past January – he was 14 years old and he was like a human in a dog’s body. He was also the mascot of our glass gallery and a prominent public figure in town. His loss was felt keenly not just in our family but through the whole community.With most people too upset to attend, my partner Luke and I were chosen as the two to take Ernie to his final appointment. Always the kindest, he made sure Ernie was as comfortable and as unafraid as possible. To him it was just another ride in a car. He had me remove his collar before we entered the vet’s, and since Ernie had been so weak, he carried him into the office himself. I had intended on staying in the room, but once they started describing the process I broke down in tears and reluctantly left the room. I didn’t want Ernie to see me upset because I knew he would pick up on it – he was so sensitive like that. I sat outside for a few minutes and then saw the vet exit the room. He offered me a brief apology. I looked through the doors and saw Luke there lying on the floor with Ernie in his arms. It was absolutely the most heartbreaking single image I have ever seen in my life. I can still see it six months later. They had been best friends for life and it was right for them to go together. I still cry thinking about it.

Lisa Says:
June 12th, 2014 at 12:32 pm Hi, I just had to put my cat Lindsay down Last Friday 06/06/14. She was my best friend. I found her in my condo when we did the final walk through and my heart just melted and I knew her and I were going to be together forever. She was about 2 and a half years old at that time the vet said. She lived to be almost 15 years. She ended up getting hyper thyroid disease and in time the disease took over.RIP Lindsay
I know I will see you in heaven

Ann Says:
June 19th, 2014 at 8:26 pm Two weeks ago we put our beloved Brittany (Mia) of 12yrs to sleep. We noticed enlarged neck nodes on May 28 and saw the vet the 29. We were told she had lymphoma and had 1-4weeks without treatment. I prayed to god to heal her and I’d do anything for her. He gave me two memorable days of her feeling like she was 5 yrs old. Running and enjoying her friends. But on June 2 we new it was to be a day to say I love you and sleep well forever. .She was tired and fatigued and I had to give her back to heaven. I want to say that I was selfish and I wanted her well and with me. I cried more than I cried for my mom. I miss her terribly. I go to work and I’m better but when I com home I could cry for a while. I have her ashes and pictures but she put a hole in my heart and I don’t no how to heal it.
Justin Says:
June 28th, 2014 at 8:03 pm Thank you for this page. yesterday I had to put to rest my 8yr old great dane Brutus. I have lost both parents and yet losing my big boy seems to hurt a thousand times worse. I know I did the right thing by him yet I can help but feel like I betrayed his trust in me. I will always question if I could have helped him more. I have a hole in my heart 10 times the size he was. I am glad to know I am not over reacting with these emotions. Thank all who have shared for opening up your hearts to the rest of us

David R Says:
July 13th, 2014 at 2:32 pm I Am Still Here!!!Charlie was a dark chocolate lab/pit mix rescue we found in 1999 at MacArthur Park downtown Los Angeles, CA. He was a soul mate; we shared a wonderful life together. He has recently passed in May of 2014. He was having old age problems like all dogs do. Nevertheless, at times, his puppy energy came out. He had a growing tumor that the Doctor recommended we remove, so we did. Since the surgery, he started going downhill. I had scheduled the Vet to come to the house to evaluate his condition. I prepared myself that we might have to euthanize him during the visit. I spent the whole day with him; hugging, kissing, and feeding him all his favorite foods (pizza, cheese, pretzels, treats etc…). I had a dear friend that Charlie adored come hangout with us. Charlie was having so much fun and had so much energy that I started second-guessing myself – maybe he wasn’t as sick as I thought? All day I was having a hard time realizing this could be his last day.
The doorbell rang and my heart just dropped. The Doctor entered to examine Charlie. He recommended we put Charlie on steroids for a few weeks to see how he would progress- while we were discussing what medications to administer; Charlie got up from his bed, made his rounds throughout the house, came back, and then Collapsed. He had a stroke. I held him in my arms while the Doctor started the process. I told him I loved him and he would always be my puppy. I was there when he took his last breath and felt his soul leave once his heart stopped beating.

Charlie knew it would be too difficult for me to make the decision so he made it for me! I had taken care of him all his life and by me being there at his time of need made it easier for him to let go. I sometimes wonder if I didn’t agree to the surgery – if he would still be here? I will never know that answer but, I did what I thought was best for my buddy. Friends constantly say I should not blame myself.

It’s been six week since his passing and I have had quite a few visits in dreams from my beloved Charlie.
In one dream, I was awaked by Charlie as he was jumping on my bed wanting me to take him out as he always did early every morning. I woke up and for a moment felt like it was just another day having to get up to take him out- until I realized it was just a dream. Most recently, I had a dream that he was standing next to me looking strong and healthy, I was hugged, and kissing him- I could feel and smell him It felt so real. When I woke up, I finally felt at peace!

Noelle Says:
July 16th, 2014 at 6:20 pm So glad I found this site on google.My beloved chow mix, Charlotte, passed on Sunday, July 13, 2014. She was 15 and was with us for over 14 years. My husband and I adopted her from the spca the year after we married. I remember thinking what the heck did we just do when we opened my car door to let her in and then he opened his she ran out the other side. Luckily, she ran to the quarantine kennel where she was the previous 30 days. A few days later we found out she had heartworm. Already having developed an attachment to her, we spent the money that we didn’t have to get her the treatments. They worked. She was heartworm free. Over the puppy years she chewed up countless items including carpet when she felt ill. What an absolutely wonderful adult dog she became. So loving, so sweet, funny and well behaved. When we moved out of our apartment and into our house when she was almost 9, her favorite spot was the chair in the bay window. She loved to sit, propped on the pillows and look out at her world. in 2011, when she was 12, she injured her back end on the stairs. She couldn’t walk or put any weight on her back legs. We had her on medication for a few weeks and then glucosamine and chondroitin and were able to take her off the prescription meds. She was back to running and jumping. As she aged, she became stiff and creaky with arthritis but still loved to sit in her chair. Over the past few months she would pant a bit more going up and down the stairs but she trudged on. 2 weeks ago was the last time she jumped in her chair. Last week we noticed some blood on the floor and her treats but thought it was from her gums since we’ve seen that in the past from a hard chewie. Sunday morning we woke up and there was quite a bit of blood on the carpet. All day I was wiping up little pools of blood and she had 2 pungent urine accidents, the last having drops of blood in it. We took her to the emergency vet and her blood work showed elevated levels in her liver and kidneys and she had absolutely no ability to clot. The 2 xrays showed multiple tumors in her chest and abdomen and burst alveoli which was causing her to bleed out. We made the decision…
and now we’re left with a huge hole in our hearts. I’m absolutely devastated and heartbroken. I know for sure we did the right thing in helping her cross over peacefully but it still hurts like nothing I’ve ever felt before. I feel so empty… and a heaviness in my chest. I left work early Monday before I lost it, bawled walking inside since she wasn’t there to greet me. I sat in her chair, hugged her pillow and sobbed uncontrollably for over an hour until I was exhausted. I’ve cried everyday off and on all day and I feel like I’m on a roller coaster. The grief comes in waves and I’m letting myself feel it. I think I’m accepting it more each day. I don’t think I could get as low as I was Monday.

I hear noises in the house and think it’s her… panting or her foot scratching the floor. I see her everywhere… her favorite chair, the spot on the floor in the kitchen where we would have to step over her, the upstairs hall as I get ready for work. It’s so lonely without her.

We had her cremated (by herself) and she’ll be ready to come home in a couple weeks. I’m hoping just having her home and knowing where she is helps the healing.

Robin Says:
July 19th, 2014 at 4:16 pm Thank you for this. My Mattie, a 13-14 year old shih tzu rescue, was put to rest on July 16th. She was going through heart and liver failure. I had her for 11 years. She was my baby and dearest friend. I knew saying good bye would be difficult, but I had no idea how difficult. My husband, who was one of the first men she liked, has been super supportive, so I feel lucky. And I know he is feeling the loss as well.Understanding that the grief I am feeling is normal and expected is helpful. I am not crazy. Though I have had dogs all my life, Mattie was mine. I picked her and she picked me. Where ever I was, she was. With her passing, I am now in the bathroom alone. No longer do I have an audience when using the bathroom or showering. Very empty lonely feeling, the house is quiet. For a small dog, she had a huge presence. We have another younger dog, but our relationship is different. Mattie was my soul dog. I miss that face and those super soft paws.

Laura Says:
July 23rd, 2014 at 9:29 amI had a 14 year old Samoyed I just put down on July 18th. I adopted her in August of 2002 when she was 1 year old. I was a single 20 year old girl living alone in MD. Since then, I have married, had 2 kids, and moved to Florida. My girl Kayla has seen me through thick and thin and been with me every step of the way. She was diagnosed with diabetes in 2009 right before the birth of my first son. That did not deter me one bit. She was the best dog, was awesome with my boys!It had been 5 days now and am continuing to have emotional outbursts and guess I fooled myself thinking I would at least not do it in front of the children. Luckily they are still to young to understand why mom is crying but the article does explain a lot of how I am feeling and what I am going through. I have managed to bottle most of my feelings up pretty well, except when I’m alone…I know that is not good but that is the type person I am. I just hope it gets easier with time.
My vet came to my house to put Kayla down and I think being there and holding her as she took her last breath was a mistake. I am so glad I was there for her but that was my last vision of her and that is all that replays in my mind and that is what causes me to lose it….and am no good after that.

I’m sorry, I just never expected this to be so hard!!!

wendy Says:
July 24th, 2014 at 8:09 pm I just said good bye to the most wonderful pet ever, my baby boy Nicholas a 10 1/2 year old bichon. He was fine one day and then he was not. It all happened so suddenly. He was my best friend, confidant, walking buddy. The emotional pain is unbearable, the waves of tears and uncontrolable crying is almost too much to handle, i feel the grief is so intense it chokes me. I can not sleep. House feels so empty, quiet, somber without him. I love him so much it is hard to accept it. I love you Nicky! In my heart forever.

Dee Swisher Yousef Says:
August 1st, 2014 at 11:54 amI said until we meet again to my sweet angel girl Sofie on July 27th 2012. Sofie was a beautiful little Blenheim King Charles Cavalier. Her big soulful eyes watched my every move when we were together. If I thought she was asleep I would glance over and she would be looking at my soul with those eyes. We shared our meals ( she shared whatever mom had) and often I would cook her favorite chicken breast for her . She loved sweet potatoes and Busy Bones. I noticed a lump on one of her breasts in March 2014 and we went to see the vet. The news was devastating. Tests were completed and I was informed Sofie had a terminal cancer the tumor had spread to her lungs and heart. Our vet provided palliative care for pain and to ease her breathing. Sofie and I spent her last 2 months living with friends who several acres of fields, big trees and where I let Sofie run free. She chased squirrels , butterflies , we would lie together in the grass as she sniffed the breezes. When Sofie tired I would carry her in and lay her on her favorite blanket on my bed. Sofie was my constant companion for 10 years . I feel her presence everywhere, I hear her softly breathing at night and my heart aches when I realize she is no longer here with me. To say I loved her is an understatement because I adored my little girl. I kissed her little soft warm head as she lay on the cold steel of the vets exam table after he gave her the sedative. I told her to wait for me at the end of the Rainbow Bridge and not to be afraid because momma would soon be there beside her. I cry every time I think hear her now, I look for her next me and the aching emptiness is immeasurable.

Dee Swisher Yousef Says:
August 1st, 2014 at 11:56 amSofie passed away July 27th 2014 not 2012.

cathy Says:
August 8th, 2014 at 8:54 pm I am reaching out for support. I had to put my beloved canine soul mate Chester down on may 13 and I find myself in deep sorrow yet. I miss him terribly. I try to console myself that he was 15 and a Half years old and had a great life. I have lost other pets but this one has been particularly difficult. I know these events take time but this is so hard. I pray for comfort and am grateful for a safe forum to express my grief amongst those who truly understand. Bless all of you.

william Says:
August 14th, 2014 at 2:10 pm I have read your blog 3 times now. My heart is still crushed. At first i thought it was splintered…now i know it is flattened. I have tried to change direction and say things will be different and how they are.
There is a emptyness that is indescribable. Our life wasnt one of abundant joy but we shared each triumph and pitfall together. I keep torturing myself looking at pics online of rotty puppys looking for my buddys eyes but they are not there. Speaking of the things that were once is of no avail,only of the love we shared. I have had many losses in 11 years but the only comfort i had was to hold my friend and wet his neck with my tears. God fills my life with his blessings but my life on earth is one of emptyness…It has been since 29th of may and it is like yesterday…Please God give me the will to continue and send me a Love while holding on to buddy for eternity!

Rosemarie Says:
August 17th, 2014 at 4:30 amMy little toy poodle was the love of my life and I loved him more than life itself. He was it, my entire family members wrapped up into one. Who else is there now. I had my cockatiel, whom my dog bonded with, as well as myself, but she died of a broken heart recently, too. My distant friends don’t understand, so they are out of my life. Lonely period.
Andredean Says:
April 1st, 2015 at 11:17 ami just lost my dog named wakunana a few days ago(march 31 2015)
most of the people around me is belittling my lost, but i feel that i lost good part of my happinessthank you for your blog, i read it and it help me to some degree
Wakunana you will be remembered, we love you, we will miss you

abi Says:
April 19th, 2015 at 10:48 pm There are no support sites for my pet, but I considered her a girl’s best friend. She is a bunny. She was stolen at one of my book signings by a mother for her two daughters. I know this because she wrote me. long story short, I feel this is unjust even though she justified it to the police. Sometimes people surprise you.
Nancy Hunley Says:
April 20th, 2015 at 1:46 pm Thankfully I found this site, I thought I was crazy, all I do is cry and I am so sad! 10 days ago we had to put MY 3 year old dashound asleep as she broke her back and was partially paralyzed.
she was my baby, and I can not imagine my life without her, she was such a little lady and loved her family so much! My heart hurts and I wonder if any thing will be the same?

Brittany Says:
April 28th, 2015 at 1:43 pm I lost beautiful baby girl, Sophie, 4 days ago. She was 4 years old and my soul mate. She has been through so much with me and I am just completely devastated. I have never experienced grief like this before. The first day I found out, I passed out twice from panic attacks. Her death was so unexpected. I always told her that she would meet my babies one day, but now she never will.
On a Friday, after I got off of work, my life shattered into what felt like a million pieces. I drove up to my house with my window already rolled down, to have my husband waiting on me. He looked like something was wrong, and before I even opened up my door, I immediately asked what was going on. I will never ever forget this moment for the rest of my life. He looked at me with just pure sadness and said, “Sophie is gone.” Of course, I immediately got angry, thinking he had let her outside and she ran off.. but then he said those words I will never forget.. “Sophie died.” I was in shock, in disbelief and all I could do the next 20 minutes was say, “Oh my god.” Soon after, the realization set in, the panic attacks began, and the tears flowed. I got home that day from work around 5:30pm, and my husband got home around 3:00pm. He said when he walked in, he went did his normal things.. went to bathroom, etc.. Our other dog, Cecilia, was cowering down.. which meant she might have pooped on the carpet, or she did something wrong. My husband went to open the fridge and noticed that Sophie wasn’t following him around like usual. He called for her, she didn’t come. He walked into the living room, and my sweet Sophie was laying on the couch. He was thinking she was sleeping really hard, so he went over to love on her…. and she didn’t wake up. He was in complete shock. He won’t tell me anymore details, but he basically told me that her neck had been broken.. and she was bloody. It was very, very, very rare that Sophie and Cecilia ever got into fights, but it did happen.. and its a 5 lb dog vs. a 50 lb dog. We still are exactly sure what happened, but we do know for sure that it had to have been a fight. Sophie was a chihuahua… the breed is known to be somewhat aggressive.. which she never was, but every once in a while- seldomly, she would get a little aggressive. My husband has had Cecilia for 6 years,.. (We have been together for 3 years) ..and never once has Cecilia ever shown aggression either.. but like i said, it was rare, but it would happen.. So, I am completely heart broken that my baby girl is no longer with us and to be honest, I can’t look at Cecilia without thinking about Sophie.. which causes more grief. But I am trying to be positive about it, because regardless of anything, they are dogs by nature– and in nature, sometimes these things happen. Sophie and Cecilia were best friends.. they spent every waking hour together, literally.. I mean, I would feel horrible if I accidentally killed my best friend. We have been crying/sobbing for days.. and I think Cecilia is finally understanding what is going on. She has been looking for her.. and she has been walking around the house whimpering. I feel so bad for her & I do love her very much.. This was just a freak accident… but I want my dog back. I want my best friend back. I want to come home to sweet jellybean. I want her to cuddle up next to me behind my knee, or in front of me when I am sleeping. I want one more day, one more hour, more second… just anything to hold her just one more time. On top of all this, I am in college.. and guess what, that happened on Friday and today is Tuesday.. and I had a final exam yesterday and today… so on top of mourning for my precious baby, I had to study for finals. This week, hands down, has been the worst few days of my entire life.. oh & right now, I am at work… after having my final early this morning. I am mentally and physically exhausted….. I miss my baby.

Liz Says:
May 10th, 2015 at 10:01 amMy Sonny died today and I haven’t stopped crying. I keep thinking I can hear him in the house but he is not here. No one to greet me at the front door, no one begging for scraps at the table. I’ll never recover from this. He was my world goodbye sonny. I will miss you

Jerry Says:
May 14th, 2015 at 4:03 pm Just lost my boxer, he was almost 7, it’s been a month and it still hurts so much

Rosemarie Says:
May 17th, 2015 at 3:41 amIt’s been since April 12, 2015 and July 14, 2014 since my beloved toy poodle Koko and three months after, my cockatiel Gigi, passed away. I feel sad especially when attending the West Medford Open Studios, as I remember having him with me. It is so painful. I loved them both as being soul mates, the loves of my life and happy to be with me wherever we went. We went to so many places together, my partner indeed and shared so much. I loved Koko and Gigi so much. They were both strays found in shelters; adopted at different times.

Mr James Jackman Says:
May 19th, 2015 at 4:19 amI am still grieving for the loss of my be-loved soul-mate 11 years ago she was almost 14 when she died her name was freeway & she loved me for the 5 years I knew her, she was a rescued dog & a wonderful golden Labrador/retriever I had just moved into lodgings in Harrogate when I first met her in 2001, she died on October 15th 2005, she was owned by the family I moved in with when I was working in North Yorkshire, She was named after the dog in heart to heart a 1970’s soap opera, She was always happy when she was around me, so much so even that one night I woke up with her laying on top of me on my bed I instinctively had my arms wrapped around her, When I said freeway what are you doing on my bed, she looked at me as if to say well you called me, I must have been dreaming of her because it came true, she was a wonderful friend and companion in short she was special, No that she has been dead for 11 years a part of my heart feels like it’s empty, I hope to get a dog of my own in the end but she will never be able to be replaced she was simply put unique, She was the right dog at the right place & time in my life.

Barb J Says:
May 21st, 2015 at 1:32 amI am reaching out for support. My best friend Max,a white and champagne shitshu past away today,he was 11 years old. He had cushing’s Diesease and then developed diebeties . It took just three months ,i did everything i could for him.Testing panel, diebetic curve, vetoryl, insulin, none of it worked. He would have seizers and drank and ate as though he was starving. he was incontinent all the time ,i kept him in a diaper wrap,it became too much for he would leak like a facet. My vet said, his quality of life was painful to see.I couldn’t watch him suffer any longer.I feel guilty for putting him down,but i know it was for his best.I’ve never been alone without a precious dog, as I’m elderly and a widow it is going to be very lonesome alone.The stories i have read just breaks my heart,our dogs are like one of our children.I know i must grief and heal before i think of getting a new pet.Now i look at all the pictures and remember so many good time…i love you Max!!

Jessie Says:
May 25th, 2015 at 6:11 pm I had my wonderful little dog euthanased a week ago due to a terminal condition. Still working through numbness, sadness, disinterest in most daily tasks.. Nights are worst. He was always with me, 24/7. Slept on my bed at night. I hate waking up in the mornings when the first thing that hits me is that he is gone. My heartfelt sympathy to everyone out there going through this agony. xx
Ryan Says:
May 31st, 2015 at 6:46 pm Lost my 11 yr old pit bull 2 days ago… She had a massive heart stroke and my wife saw it called me at work and I rushed home 15 minutes later when I get home belle looked me dead in my eyes and I picked her up and she died in my arms… It’s hard bc she was such a loyal companion to me… She will me missed

Terrence Says:
June 29th, 2015 at 6:14 pm I’ve just finished reading this article searching for some peace. Yesterday while on a short hike with my 85 pound 2 year old American bulldog. He suddenly collapsed. A hike we have done 100 times. Unfortunately it was too hot and too humid. I was carrying. My 7 year old daughter up the hill and no strength left to carry Bentley to safety which was just under 1/4 mile away. We poured our water on him but instead of picking up and carrying him to shade I ran home to get my truck. An unforgivable mistake that cost Bentley his life. Although I did what I thought was best. I was wrong and my friend, companion , a piece of my family is now gone. I can’t stop thinking about why I didn’t leave him at home. But he loved hiking. It was his favorite thing to do. It’s been just over a day and I can’t stop thinking about him. The best thing next to my wife and kids to come home to. I know I will always blame myself for this horrific accident. But after reading these stories I now am confident that I can get through this. I love and miss my dog more than any words can explain. Thank you for letting me share my story. I hope that anyone who is blessed the way I was with such a beautiful loving companion will take better care and caution when excersizing in heat. Bentley had done that hike many times and in that heat. Yesterday he just couldn’t cool down and it proved fatal. So please do not take your dogs out when it gets above 90 degrees. Thank you again for letting me share and grief in this forum.
Gracie Says:
July 7th, 2015 at 2:50 pm I lost my girl shihtzu coco and I’m still hurting 3 years later I always feel guilty because we bought a dog to keep the other still alive one happy and he looks so much like her it’s hard and he is mean to the other one and now none of my dogs can play fetch and I feel like I can’t live without coco she died fAlling into are hot tub and she drowned we bareed her but that didn’t help my hole family isn’t mourning but I am still she was my only friend then as soon as I made new friends she died later now I don’t know how to deal with life it’s just keeps getting worse last year my preschool friend died and I haven’t seen him since preschool and we were best friends and my new dog keeps getting meaner and meaner I don’t know what to do

Janet Says:
July 8th, 2015 at 2:52 pm I know this is dogs but I lost my precious baby boy Sammy (Cat) 4 wks ago and I am devastated and all I do is cry; at home, in the car, tears swell up in the store, I can’t sleep at all. I’m going through so many different stages, Anger, denial, Guilt etc. The guilt is because we (both Sammy and I) moved to an Apt. from a townhouse after my mother died from Alzheimer’s in which I cared for her 24/7 for 6 yrs completely 100% alone. Sammy mourned her for 6 mos. after her passing. He was a cat that was so kind and sweet and so exceptional I cannot even put into words. He was more dog than cat in so m any ways. He never adjusted to the move and I couldn’t understand why it was taking so long. I had him checked out by the vet and all blood work came back normal etc. The vet felt he was a tiny bit under weight but was probably due to stress and anxiety. After 4 wks in the Apt. even with the Cat pheromones plugged into the wall he started holding his urine for 2-3 days at a time. This went on for about 3 wks. He had no blockages and it was again determined to be anxiety. I took him to the vet night and day (his vet during the day and at times the ER vet during the midnight hrs.) They would tap his bladder or he would just go in their litter pan when we got there. I was getting very irritated and I remember yelling at him so hard twice that he hissed at me went into the bathroom and covered his face with his little paws. Within about a week he developed a small swelling on his forehead. I took him into the ER vet one night around 1AM and noticed one of his eyes was so slightly off and put him under to check if the eye could be pushed back into the orbit (it was so unnoticeable I couldn’t see what they were even talking about). The vet came back and said it was probably a tumor behind the eye and the swelling was biopsied and found to be Adenocarcinoma. I am still in shock even writing this, I was so upset with the vet I said I didn’t believe it and it had to be a mistake. Eventually I came around and believed it and within a few days I brought him to an Oncologist and he was started with Chemo. He only made it through 3 Tx’s which are a month a part and he passed in the Apt. 4 wks ago after it appeared he went into a coma. The guilt is I wonder if the move and my yelling at him those couple times caused the tumor or caused it to grow more rapidly. I cry all night long while trying(?) to sleep and wonder if he would still be with me if we did not move (which was imperative or we would have lost the house). My vet says the outcome would of probably of been the same no matter if we moved or didn’t, but when I look on the internet it says stress does not cause cancer but it in the mice experiements it show’s it could possibly grow faster and mestatisize. I am having a terrible problem with all of this and feel like I’m losing my mind going over everything constantly in my head. I know the tumor must of been slow growing before we moved but I’m praying I did not make him lose his life any faster by the move and getting him stressed when he was not urinating and I yelling at him and constantly taking him to the vet.

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55 thoughts on “You’re Not Crazy, You’re Mourning: Grief from the Loss of Your Dog”

  1. We lost our dog Max yesterday (17 May 2016). He was old and not well so we took him to the vets to be put to sleep. I know that it was the right time and thing to do but I am hurting. The article was a great help and I also know that my grief will eventually pass. However, I am still distressed and overcome with profound sadness. I have had tremendous support on my Facebook page. I keep looking for him on his blanket but he is not there. He won’t be there ever again and I miss heaps already. Bye Max always loved and never forgotten.

  2. I lost my best friend of 13 years on May 1st. He was a beautiful big West Highland Terrier called Myles, or Lord Myles as my cousins wife nicknamed him. He had been diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure in early 2015, with a prognosis of weeks to live. Myles and I drove across Canada in September of last year and he continued to be just Myles. A scamp, stubborn and my best friend. We had travelled to South Carolina, Nova Scotia and all over Ontario. He had led a colourful and wonderful full life. I am trying to get to grips with this giant hole that is in me and mourning the loss of a companion, friend and someone who was always there for me. I know that time will move on, but I feel that the spirit of my departed buddy will always be with me.

  3. I’m sorry for your loss . I don’t know if you still read these comments as its been years but I have a question . . . Does it get easier ?

    I lost my baby boy , a chihuahua mix named joe , just 24hrs ago . He was 7 years old , would have been 8 this Thursday on the 12th . I didn’t know I would feel such immense pain &&sorrow like this . He got sick about a month ago , he started acting different . He was distant , didn’t respond to my calls for him , stopped eating &&ibex and just sleepy all the time . I quickly brought him to the vet . That’s when they diagnosed him with immune mediated hemolytic anemia . . Which is a type of anemia where your immune system destroys your own blood cells . The doctor kept repeating to me how the prognosis is usually not good for dogs with that diagnosis but I held on to the hope that my baby boy would pull through . The doctor started him on some steroids , 2 1/2 tablets twice a day . Within the first couple of days he began to be more like himself . Barking &&running around the backyard , playing with the other dogs , with his sister . Eating perfectly fine . He went back to normal . &&for the next month he was completely the same dog I’ve known for the past 8years . Until about two days ago on Saturday evening . He didn’t want to eat anything &&Li couldn’t get him to take his medication . all he did was drink water . Later in the night he vomitted , a clear looking fluid , which I thought was water . There was no food , no color , no unusual odor . He had a follow up appt this coming Friday but since he was acting weird I was thinking of calling in on Monday to see if I can bring him in earlier . Then yesterday morning I had gotten up at 8am because I was going to buy my mom some flowers at the store for Mother’s Day , yes I lost him on Mother’s Day ): &&Amy uncle who lives with us told me he had let the dogs out to use the bathroom but joe wouldn’t come back inside anymore &&was just laying on the grass . I immediately rushed out to see him , bcoz I had remembered that I had heard somewhere that dogs like to go away &&Iike to be alone when they pass . I found him laying outside on the grass , still breathing , thankfully . I called out to him &&he barley lifted his head to look at me but didn’t make a move to even come close . I ran up to him &&touched his head lifting it up to look him in the eyes . What I saw will stay with me for the rest of my life , my baby boy wasn’t my baby boy anymore , I stared into unrecognisable eyes . He had a distant look &&his eyes were glazed over almost emitting a dark blue type of color . I knew in that moment that I was going to lose him . I ran to my sister &&woke her up to tell her that joe didn’t look good at all . So she got up &&we rushed him to the 24hr emergency pet hospital . We got there around 815am . They immediately took him to the back &&owe sat in an exam room waiting for the doctor . 5 minutes later the doctor came in to speak of the options we had , IV fluids , blood transfusions , ultra sounds , multiple tests . She told us that he was in critical condition &&we had to act fast . She told us that everything would add to a total of $3500-$4500 . At that point my sister &&Li didn’t care . They rung us up an estimate &&my sister &&Li were filling out paperwork for care credit to help us with expenses &&as we were doing that the nurse came running to us with a form . An advanced directive form . Asking me what joes advanced directives were . It was 850am . I told her he was a full code &&eyes to CPR . She then said to us that we need to go back to the exam room , he’s not doing good &&that the doctor would like to speak to us . I knew . I knew it . My sister &&i rushed back in &&within seconds the doctor came in &&told us that joe had crashed , they lost his heartbeat &&were performing CPR on him as we speak . She asked if we wanted to continue the CPR or if we wanted to stop . We had her continue , I wanted to give my baby boy every chance he could possibly get to stay with us . Their protocol at the hospital was 15 mins for CPR before they called it . She went back into the back to check on him . My brother came at that time . He was asleep when we rushed joe to the hospital but when we called him he came right away . 15 mins alter at 907am , the doctor reappeared &&shave us the news . That joe was gone . I already knew it . I knew it from the moment i looked into his eyes . I knew he wouldn’t make it through CPR . I knew it . But when nothing could have prepared me for those words that slipped out of the doctors mouth that morning . My sibling &&I lost it at that point . Tears streaming , uncontrollably . They Brought him in , my baby boy , so we could say our final goodbyes .

    Yesterday was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do , it took all the strength in me &&my siblings to walk out of that hospital without joe .

    Coming home was horrible . Keilah , joes sister ( actual biological twin sister ) , knew . She usually cries when we take joe out without her , but the moment we walked into the house without him , crying , keilah just layed down in her bed with her head down . I’m still trying to deal with my own grief &&I don’t know how long it will take me to start feeling ok again , but I’m so worried for keilah . For 8 years , since birth , they had been inseparable . We adopted them together . Wherever joe went keilah followed , wherever keilah was joe was there . Now I don’t know what to do now that she’s lost her best friend &&abt other . Sure we have another dog , an older dog , Ellie a corgi mix , but I know it’s not the same .

    I miss him so so so much . I hope that wherever he is , that someone is loving him &&snaking him happy , at least until I can be with him again ):

    I know I wrote a lot . But it feels good to have told his story . To have vented it out onto this page . Thank you for that .

    RIP JOE 5.12.08 – 5.8.16

  4. I lost my best buddy Max yesterday, 5/2/16. I’ll never forget that day. I love him so much. He was to weak to go to the vet, and if you carried him he would cry and be in pain. So we had the vet come to my grandparents house. She said she would check on him and see how he was doing. His knees were too weak and bad to walk. He had been laying in the same spot for 2 days and couldn’t get up to go the bathroom or eat or drink. We had to bring him water and food and hold it for him while he ate and drank. She checked his blood pressure was at 130 just laying down relaxing, above the normal rate. She said we were going to have to put him to sleep, he was suffering. I looked him in the eyes and kissed him over and over again telling him I loved him as his eyes started to shut… I’ve never cried so hard in my life. My best friend was being taken away from me and I didnt know what to do. I got down on my belly as his eyes were barely open. I layed with him and I kissed him and kissed him over and over. When he had passed, the vet brought a stretcher in and I had to put him on it and carry him outside to her car. That walk was so hard, it felt like I was just giving him away. I kissed and told him I’m gonna miss you so much buddy. I love you Max. I don’t want you to leave. I had to watch my dog be driven away from me and I cried so much. All I could say was.. farewell buddy. I feel so alone and I want him here. A part of me thinks that that lasy just murdered my dog, and that we could’ve done something to help him. But I don’t know, I just feel alone and I’m trapped in my mind.

  5. I lost my dog Oscar 3 weeks ago and I’m absolutely lost without him..I had him for over 15 years…I feel alone…I cry and I cry…I knew it was coming but had no idea how unprepared my heart was for him passing…he died in my lap after all day feeling bad…I knew it was time and I thank God for my having the chance to say my goodbye even as hard as that day was…I miss my baby more than anything I’ve known…I miss and love you Oscar…I buried him in his casket I actually had in my car for months…I will think of you every day as I promised you…I know it will be very hard to love another pet any time soon!

  6. I was contacted by another blogger to see if i would share her infographic on how volunteering at an animal shelter may help your grieving process. I decided to share it, but just know that it’s also a store selling mementos and such for grieving pet families. I’m not familiar with the store but the article looked useful.

    Here’s the link:

  7. Lost my mini dachshund Ruby 3 nights ago. I ran her over in the driveway, it was dark and I did not see her. She was with us 11 years. I am heatbroken, and incredibly sad, and feeling so guilty. My husband had let her out while I was gone and usally called me to let me know he let her out…he did not do that this time. I too keep seeing her in my minds eye and can’t stop thinking about her. It’s so hard!!! I loved that little girl. She gave me unconditional love all the time. I went to the local humane society and signed up to volunteer in her memory but my heart feels like it is getting ripped out of my chest. Sometimes I can hardly breath. To think I hurt the sweetest most loving little dog just crushes me. I feel like I so failed her…I need to remember I rescued her from being put down at a puppy mill…however that’s not helping me much right now😫

  8. Am trawling the web trying to find ways to feel better.
    My beautiful Maia left me on 24.3.16. I feel heart broken and empty. nothing makes sense anymore. Maia was the most amazing girl. For almost 11 years she was my heart and soul, my reason to get up everyday and live. She was that to lots of people – a therapy pet for so many people. Cruelly taken by a nasty cancer – it was too fast for me to get my head around. A lump one night then exactly 6 weeks later she is in my arms taking her last breath.
    I never thought she would leave such a tremendous gap in my life.
    My heart is broken..

  9. Roxie our 18 month old mini dachshund got out of the fenced yard yesterday, got hit by a car in front of our house, and died in my arms. She had no visible injuries,just trickling blood from her nose and mouth, but never moved or blinked again. She looks as perfect now as she was in life: soft, cuddly, with big eyes. I held her for hours, just couldn’t let her go. Didn’t sleep at all, just wanted to keep touching her and say It’s ok Roxie. But it’s not and never will be again.
    My husband and I are devastated, we can’t work or eat or think of anything else. We buried her near our bedroom window in a wooden box we made, with her favorite toy and treats, and photos and a letter.
    She was separated too early from her mom, and then was rescued. She was tiny, 2 lbs, but had a great appetite, loved her treats, and always wanted to be near us. I can’t believe this happened, we love her so so much. Thank you all for sharing, and understanding.

  10. I lost my 4 months old beautiful puppy Prince to Parvo.It breaks my heart I did all I could.I’m unemployed with no money couldn’t take him to the vet.No one helped I’m literally destroyed by guilt and anger.I can’t go on so ha d can t sleep don’t know what to do

  11. We were extremely lucky to have almost 2 amazing years with the most beautiful, gentle and affectionate little girl in the world. We adopted Lucy from SPCA as a 18month old kitten who was just so full of life and she quickly made us her family. She would always greet us on entering a room with a nose to nose rub hello for each of us before deciding who she was going to sit on for the evening. From time to time she would stretch, look me in the eye and come in for a huge smooch. She would curl up on my pillow at night and sometimes wake me in the night with a face lick and nose smooch. Lucy would always be where we were, whether in the garden, office, lounge or bedroom – she would be there. She would even follow me outside to the clothesline when I hung out the clothes. Lucy didn’t have a nasty bone in her body. She never scratched or bit and was incredibly trusting of us both. She had a pure soul. Lucy loved being brushed and would leap onto her outside table and almost beg for a brush. During the brushing she would smooch your ears, nose and chin.
    We woke up one morning and Lucy wasn’t to be found. She didn’t turn up all day and when we checked the neighbourhood, I found her broken body on the road. There wasn’t much left of our beautiful little girl but I knew it was her because I recognised her little ginger right front paw. My husband scraped her up and buried her in her favourite spot in the garden where she used to roll in the dirt next to our outdoor table and chairs when we had afternoon drinks, as part of our little family.
    I type this with tears in my eyes, and a broken heart. The tears just won’t stop coming and I can visualise Lucy everywhere I go. At night I can’t help picturing her being hit with a vehicle and it goes over and over and over in my mind. This whole world is empty and pointless without her in it.
    Lucy not quite 4 years old – a beautiful soul, gone too soon.

  12. i had to put my wee staffie put down to sleep on friiday afternoon 8th april 2016 2 days ago elsiebaby was 16 years old lung cancer i just cant get over lossing her she was my soul made love her so much im heart broken i dont no how im going to cope without her was never left on her own always with me when visiting people took her everywere in the car i collect her ashes in 10 day i feel as if my heart has been ripped out just finding it so hard its sore cant stop sobbing my heart out ill just have to take 1 day at a time love her alway s R.1.P my Baby xx

  13. Its been 2 weeks since I put my little chihuahua Poncho to sleep . That was the hardest decision that I ever made. At first he belonged to my mom, but I would always be playing with him and paying attention to him the most. I guess he thought he belonged to me and I felt he belonged to me too. As he got older we both got attached to each other. I never had a dog of my own and that is why I’m taking this real hard. He started getting sick and he kept getting worse and the vet didn’t know what was wrong with him and neither did the other 3 vets that I took him to. So I had to put him to sleep. I felt so guilty because I felt like I let him down. I was the one that would take care of him and protect him and I couldn’t save him. I felt so bad when he would have to get his blood work and I could hear him crying in the next room. He was my little buddy who would be waiting for me at the front , wagging his little tail, so happy to see men and now I walk up to the door and he is not there anymore. I miss him so much and I would give anything if I could hold him again

  14. I lost my Precious friend on Friday April 25 2016 at heart is broken..there is an empty lonliness i miss her..she was a dignified lady my Akita Chow…i have another dog…my Jindo who i also love ..but i still feel this lonley ache of pain ..he is greiving ..i greive for his loss of her ..he loved her so much ..and he kissed and licked her face every morning before we went to walk..they did everything together ..i can feel his sadness..he won’t eat he only sleeps now..i am sad and afraid for him.. they had 10 years beautiful together grief is doubled ..i gave him to a friend so he could have company with the other dogs bc he Is so sad at my house without her he suddenly has anxiety and tears the house apart when i leave for work..right now i go to visit him ..and try not to cry in front of him …my head .heart and stomach hurt..i feel lost without them….i just want him to be better..i understand his sadness ..i keep crying ….it feels endless..i miss them

  15. We had to put our precious dog Tyson 3 days ago. It’s been the hardest time of my life I never imagined it would be this hard. He was only four years old 5 months ago he developed a rare disease that makes your immune system attack your skin. We had to put him on high doses of pretizone to try and control but eventually the drugs were too much for him. My wife and daughter and myself are really struggling with this. For myself I see him everywhere I go especially in the house and the nearby park. I prayed so much for him to beat this but the Lord said no. I cry throughout the day not sure if I’ll ever get over this. He was a beautiful large black dog so fit and gentile. He seemed to smile all the time. Always happy to see me wagging his tail. How I loved him. I miss him so much. Second guessing myself should I have spent thousands more at the vet 5 to 7 thousand?

  16. I went away for two years against my will.and had a family friend watching my life. the family friend assured me he would be well taken care and he would be returned to me when i was released. Day in and day out Danny (my life) was the only thing that kept me going and the only visual dredaydream I had of returning to society w as running to my dog who I believed was waiting for me as much As I was waiting for him. I got the news two months before my release that my Danny was hit by a car. I’m left feeling the most empty lost feeling of grief and sadness..please help

  17. Thank you. Have lost four dogs over the years. This reminded me of how much love they brought.

  18. March 3rd 2016 , We just lost our precious Oscar, a 2 and a Half year old shih Tzu who we
    saved from an owner who did not want him at 8 months. We picked him up in March of 2014 and he fit into the family & instantly got along with our other 2 puppies:-) He was the most amazing dog and loved life. He grew on us quickly and we were so happy to find him.He had a loving personality and loved his food. treats and especially walk time. In July 2015 my partner Colleen noticed he wasn’t himself so we scheduled a vet appointment and took him in. He was squeaking for no apparent reason. The vet believed it was a intestinal infection, might of ingested something on a walk or in our back yard. He was prescribed antibiotics and we took him home. In late August 2015 he was squeaking again but more noticeable. We live in the Calgary area so we decided to take him to a 24hr Animal hospital. We left them there for 2 days observation so the Vets could see the symptoms themselves. An X ray, Urine sample, fecal sample & blood tests were done but nothing could be found? We took him home with more antibiotics & probiotics still thinking it was an intestinal problem. A month went by and one night in September he woke up yelping and moving around uncomfortable and this would last 3 -4 hours every other night. Back to the vet we went, more X rays were done and other tests but the vets were stumped? They did find some fusing in the vertebrae but not anything to cause the pain Oscar was displaying….we were sent home with some Pain killers while our vet sent the X Ray off the Specialist in Neurology. While this was happening we scheduled an appointment with another Vet clinic to get a second opinion. They also first believed it was intestinal so we were prescribed a antibiotic again because the pain killers were not working, he still had these yelping attacks at night. We were referred to a internal medicine doctor in Calgary who saw the dog and we actually brought him in when he was having an episode. An ultrasound was done as well as a MRI to find out if there was nerve damage of some kind. In Mid February 2016 we received the results of the MRI, by now Oscar was having a yelping episode almost every night. A spinal tap was done to see if he had an infection in the spinal core where they found inflammation. On February 29th, I received a call from the Vet Hospital telling me Oscar was diagnosed with Tethering cord syndrome:-( At this time he was on two pain killers, 1 steroid and 2 antibiotics to lessen his pain. There is no cure for this diagnoses so we were faced with what we had to do:-( We could no longer justify his quality of life would improve and on March 1st he had the worst episode of yelping which lasted 6 hrs. The sad thing was when he wasn’t yelping he acted normal and played with the dogs and went for walks but even on all the drugs prescribed he still had pain. Tethering cord syndrome apparently happens during birth where the nerves get tangled with the spine causing pain like you would get from a sciatica nerve attack. On march 1st 4:00 pm he made his last visit to the Vet Hospital where they said nothing more could be done. He was put to sleep that day with colleen holding him in her arms:-( It has only been 2 days and we are devastated for Oscar being only 2 and a half only enjoying a short life. There is a hole in our hearts and the house just isn’t the same with Oscar gone:-( I know we made the right decision but the grief & pain of the loss of such a young dog who was with us only 2 years is heartbreaking;-( I know in time we will be able to cope and understand that we did all we could to help him and we hope Oscar understands that we did what we could because we loved him so much:-( We are going to pick one of his best pictures and frame it, display it and light a candle for him in memory of the dog we grew to love and cherish while we had him in our lives. Our dogs Macy & Lady sense he is gone and notice that we are depressed so we try to make sure their routine stays as normal as possible ;-( I had a dream that night after we put him to sleep, he was standing in a green field about 5 feet away, he looked at me for a few seconds and then wagged his tail:-) Then ran off into the distance:-) I woke up crying and I hope that was a message telling me I am okay and I will see you on the other side when you come:-) Colleen, Kaylee ,Macy, Lady and I will miss you Oscar:-) I am glad I found this website to convey my feelings for a furry friend who has touched me in away only a dog could do:-) Thank you 🙂 Gary Johnson

  19. Lost my boy 3 months ago….sitting on my steps crying; finally tossing out an old worn out bed of his….the saddness is overwhleming.
    Thank you for writing this. Thank you for sharing the video. Thank you for telling me it is OK to feel how I feel.
    I want the world to know Poppy was the BEST dog ever ….I promised him I would tell everyone….he mattered in this big world; he mattteres to me.
    The love of our 4 legged kids….unconditional and forever.

  20. Hello… I just lost my dog Toby last week (2/23/16)… I had to put him down because his quality of life is going downhill rapidly. I admit I was selfish a bit when I postponed the first appointment because I thought he was fine, but when I came back from Arizona (a mini vacation)… noticed he wasn’t doing well. I decided to put him down few days later on the day of my dad’s 14th anniversary of his death.
    I am still grieving for his death, never realized how much I loved him. He’s been with me for 10 years (he was 15 when he died, I rescued him from the Humane Society when he was five years old- well, I think he rescued me instead). Damn, I’m making myself guilty of putting him down- why is that? I know he’s at peace, no more pain for him. He was an amazing dog, just amazing. He gave me a lot of love and moved around all over with me. I got used to walking him several times a day- he refused to go in the backyard at first- he eventually learned how to do his business in backyard sometimes- but he still prefer walking around the block and doing his business. Oh man, I miss him.
    He was a quiet dog- does not bark much. I miss you and I love you, Toby!! Rest in Peace!

  21. Today marks the 6th day without my precious little Isabella. She was my best friend. She never left my side. She was so funny and goofy. She always made me smile even when I didn’t want too. No matter how bad of a day I was having she could pick my spirits up. She was so good at that.
    I didn’t get to say goodbye. After reading all these posts I’m not sure which is best. To be able to be with them as they leave this world or to just remember how they were.
    My husband was grilling outside, Isa went outside. My husband didn’t notice she had come outside. I was taking a shower when my husband came in to tell me Isa had been hit by a car and died. All I could do is scream no, no , no and beg for it not to be true but it was true. Oh I hate that moment! If I’d just said, come on Isa I gotta take a shower I feel she would still be here.
    I love you my baby. I miss you soooooo. I think I hear you in the house sometimes but it’s not you, it’s bubbles. (my son’s cat) I wake up and have to relieze you are not here anymore. My heart will never be the same without you. You were my soul pet. You will always be in my heart and your paw print will forever remain in my soul. RIP Isabella , you will never be forgotten.
    Oh how I wish I could go back to that night!!!!!!!! I’m so sorry my precious baby that I didn’t keep you safe. I should of done better.

  22. My beloved Pomeranian, Victor, was mauled by a German Shepard 02/15. I had Victor for less then 2 years, but we came to love him quickly . Victor was more of a rescue dog as the previous owner didn’t take good care of him I happily accepted him and took him in. While I was doing lawn-work Victor liked to sit outside on the lawn and take in the air and sunshine, he was very friendly, and I guess he felt that other dogs were as well – unfortunately we found out the hard way that not all dogs want to be friends. It has been 2 days and all me and my family can do is weep for our friend. The German Shepard snapped the back of Victor’s neck, and that is all I can think, that image of him being shaken violently by a dog that Victor just wanted to be friendly with. After the dog finally released Victor, he quickly came to me, yelping and walking weird, I figured it was because of the bite he sustained, but that is when I realized the other dog has gravely damaged his spine; I had my little friend in my arm when I heard him take his last breath. Sounds so silly, but I hope that my little friend understood that I was by his side. I am so angry- angry at myself for letting Victor outside with no leash and angry at so many things I could have done different. I miss my dog terribly! I wish him back.

  23. Responding to Felicia – posted on Feb. 3rd 2016… I am able to relate to your grieving and deep sense of (anticipated)/ loss for your soulmate chihuahua, Nicole – you also mentioned that you have also lost most of your family – all the loss and anticipated becomes cumulative and at times feels overwhelming. The recent loss(es) open up channels of memory for reprocessing the others. The parent who criticized your grieving over Nicole was displacing(although not appropriate) her anguish out on someone innocent like yourself.
    Thus making you feel more reluctant to express your feelings.
    Please allow me to clarify the air – I am truly sorry to the parent reading of losing your child…it’s the worst nightmare and pain anyone can imagine. I know because I lost my only child 25 years ago; and visited his gravesite today. However, I do recognize Felicia’s deep pain & grieving for her soulmate dog, Nicole. My losses were in reverse order, first the devastating loss of my son, Andrew in 1991 – and then the recent loss of my soulmate dog, Bartley(the legendary beagle) on January 3rd 2016 to complications of renal failure and CHF. I tell people how out of the 6 dogs I have owned in a lifetime – Bartley’s loss affected me many times over compared to the loss of my other dogs. Bartley was 18 yrs. of age. I tell people, friends and remaining family(siblings) … and the response is quite typical – ” sorry to hear that…” and then they move on to another subject – or talk so much about their dog that Bartley gets taken out of the picture. Bartley has opened up a whole arena of grieving for me – parents, friends, fellow infantrymen lost in the jungle; and Andrew. I am doing it in such a way as to pay tribute to the lost loved ones and friends.
    It’s not easy … often I find myself looking for Bartley. Felicia, you may find yourself going through a similar chain of grieving. My best to you and may there be eternal light.
    Tom B

  24. One of the best dogs in the world, a shepherd/golden/lab mix, used to live in my back yard. Now it is empty. He was put to rest 46 days ago after a six week battle with lymphoma, and there is no end in sight for the heartache. So brave, so loyal, so intelligent, and yet so cute. He had as many different facial expressions as a human. Goodbye, Jacobi. There can never be another like you.

  25. What a beautiful tribute for a beautiful soul. Tomorrow we’ll say goodbye to our most thoughtful friend. Memphis. 9 1/2 year old Golden Retriever.
    Thank you for this,

  26. I’m so sorry to hear that. I can understand that she is probably not in her right mind, because of grieving, but there’s no reason to belittle your experience, or anyone else’s. It’s too bad that the pain you have in common was not seen as common ground. As the dogs would say, shake it off (the negative comment) and move on. Good luck to you.

  27. I have lost nearly my entire family in the past few years. Now I am losing my little doggy girl, Nicole chihuahua. She is eleven and has congestive heart failure. I was told that chihuahuas live longer lives, averaging fifteen to sixteen years. My poor little girl is being cheated out of that longer life span because if this horrible disease. My grief is often unbearable, but I feel I must grieve alone because of how other people feel. I joined a grief site with groups for multiple losses, including a pet site. But after posting about my feelings over losing my girl, a woman who had lost her child made the remark to the effect that she had lost a child, not a “damn dog”! My dog is like my child! The fact that she took time out of grieving over her son to post a malicious comment intended to belittle my grief has discouraged me from expressing my self and just bottle it up. At least I feel free to say so here.

  28. Stanley, my beloved little 5-year-old Maltese-Shih Tzu mix, got away from me Monday morning and was hit by a car. He rescued me a year and a half ago and had been the nicest, sweetest, most loving little guy. I’m devastated. I’ve done nothing but weep. He taught me so much about living joyfully in the moment, and loving generously and unconditionally. It breaks my heart to not have him with me anymore. I miss him terribly. I sleep with his favorite toy (it’s bigger than he was!) and his sweater. A piece of my heart passed with him and I just ache.
    Thank you all for sharing, I hope we all find peace. I know I will be meeting up with my sweet little Stan at the Rainbow Bridge one day.

  29. I I lost my 10 year old Chihuahua / Dachshund Kairi recently…she ran off. We were visiting a Family member.
    When I went outside to get her to go home she was nowhere to be found. I looked for her for over a week. I dream of her. I hear her still. Home does not feel the same anymore. I miss her so very much. I cry most mornings. She was a Big part of our FAMILY. We took her every where with us. I can’t believe How much pain I’m in.
    Sometimes I can’t function. I don’t know what to do. Please help ….I need to know I’m not alone. That other pet owners feel this pain too…

  30. Your video is as valid and heart-warming as it was when it was posted. My dear sister and I both lost our soul-mate dogs Buddy & Bella within a month of our mother’s death. We grieved together. When my father died in 2012 my next lab died from anti-freeze poisoning within 3months. In May I lost my beloved sister and each loss has become more complicated. On my most positive days, I can only imagine them all together and happy now. I too made a video of Buddy’s life and it makes me smile and cry as did yours. I did not know this when my dogs passed but our local hospice has grief support for pet loss. Check online, hope this helps.

  31. Lost my pixie December 24 2015. So sudden .We took a ride together to my daughters to spend Christmas eve with grandchildren and panted all the way there which was normal for her she was a very hyper one.When we got there she would not stop she did drink tried to calm her down
    then she vomited and seem OK Had to go to my other daughter we all left she seemed to be ok not even a bark when we left which she always did she never wanted me out of her sight.

    I told her i would be home soon and you will be fine and aid good bye.we got home with my family and could not find her then she was found under the bed and gone I feel so guilty not knowing that i maybe i should have realized some thing was wrong she was only 6/1/2 but as i have given it some thought she had not been herself for a couple of days hardly eating sleeping a a lot more and was spending more time under my bed and kept licking her feet which she never did.
    Anyone who reads this please try to take more notice of your animal not being there usual self.
    Pixie was comfort and joy to have with me every day she is truly missed today and always.

  32. Our beloved golden retriever died from Nov. 22. He was 11 1/2. He was happy and doing pretty well until just a few days before. We took him to the vet because he suddenly lost his appetite a couple days prior and was excessively thirsty. Our worst fears were confirmed; a cancerous tumor on his heart, and his chest cavity filled with fluid. We decided to euthanize him that same day, the right thing to keep our boy from suffering, but oh how very painful for us. I have cried every day since. Our lovely friends and neighbors have been so kind, and I’ve been walking a friend’s young dog when she is at work. I think I’m doing the right things, to try to cope. But truly there is no support for HIM, the best dog I ever had. We’re empty nesters and our kids are now up and out. The house is so painfully quiet. Part of me wants another dog some day, and part of me thinks I never want to go through this agony again. I also feel guilty for getting mad at him for keeping me awake about a week before he died; there was a big windstorm and he was so afraid of the wind. He was in bed with me but wouldn’t stop shaking and trying to get on top of me. I left the bed finally and closed myself off in another bedroom to sleep. Now I can’t get over the guilt of doing that. I was exhausted. But I should have stayed with him and comforted him instead of leaving to sleep.

  33. It’s been two years since I lost my dog, my sole companion of 11 years. I still haven’t moved anything in the house. He was everything to me. I realise now that I will have an eternal broken heart. My family didn’t seem to care and so I still grieve and do so alone.

  34. My beautiful, incredible girl Sakina died only 4 years old, nearly 6 years ago January 2010. I still cry for her, miss her dearly, speak to her, I do not know even now if anyone can fill the huge gap she left in my life. I used to curl up in her bed, breathing her sweet scent in. My husband and I split a year after her death and it was an unspoken but huge reason – I blamed him and probably always will. I am deeply spiritual and will swear before God himself – I will not go to a heaven my love is not in. Ecclesiastes says humans and animals are the same, we all return to dust, I would forgo anything to be with her Dust, forever.

  35. December 5, 2015. My dog died yesterday. She was only 8 1/2 years old but had a serious heart murmur causing her to fall on her side and go into what looked like a seizure which would last for 10 seconds or so and then she would come out of it. These episodes happened more frequently lately and so we made an appointment for her to see a cardiologist yesterday. My wife took her for the echo cardiogram and then brought her home. But when I came home later in the afternoon I found her breathing extremely labored and she was grunting with each breath. We didn’t know what to do at that point, so we got in the car and took her back to the Animal Hospital. She died in my arms on the way there. The lump in my throat is killing me. I’ve been crying on and off with my wife since yesterday. Right now I’m home alone with my other dog who is 14 1/2 years old and on his last legs, if you know what I mean. We feel so guilty because we believe that if we hadn’t taken her for that echo cardiogram yesterday she would still be alive. We know they didn’t do anything bad or wrong to her, but we sincerely believe she would be here right now if we hadn’t taken her. We understand that we must go through the grieving process, but I just felt the need to reach out and tell anyone who might read this. If I am honest with myself, it is for my own comfort that I’m writing this. I am in a lot of emotional pain and the thought of little Maddy being gone is killing me. However, I also do hope someone reads this who is also going through some sort of emotional loss and that they might find comfort in knowing that there are people out there who genuinely care about the suffering of others and who would love to try to make a difference in their lives in some way. I hope and pray that you would come across a loving, giving, caring person who will listen to you grieve and will be a friend in your time of need. Thank you, Lord, for the time we spent with Maddy and for all the love and joy she brought into our family. And God bless you all for sharing this with me.

  36. Thank you for writing, Amy. Only you will know whether it’s too soon. Some people get a new dog right away and it’s a balm to their hearts. Others are still grieving and aren’t able to keep up with the needs of the new dog. You might consider fostering – it would keep your house from being empty in a way that doesn’t commit you, and help a dog in need.

  37. My puppy Shepard moved on. October 30 2015 he was only 4 months old he was with me all the time on walks, at the park He slept on my lap at night and woke up with me. i put him outside quite a bit becuase he loved to run around i usually had him tied up. But somdays i would let him go out off the leash he would always run to the neighbors yard there was a dog over there in a cage. he would always run right back to the house never into the street. But one morning i saw him out in the neighbors yard and after a bit of chasing we would run back to the house but one day he didnt .He saw another dog and ran after it the first car stopped but the second car hit him. I miss him so much and feel guilty because he was so young. Ive never loved anybody like that dog though i only had him 2 months. Everyday i honestly just feel like im counting down the days to when ill see him again i hope i can stop thinking this way i just feel so much pain and guilt

  38. I lost the love of my life Oliver a 15 and half year old white standard poodle on Tuesday Nov. 10-2015-I feel like I killed him-can’t seem to shake that thought-part of me feels like I prevented his suffering and another part says couldn,t you at least found out exactly what was wrong with him-I feel like I let him down-didn’t fight for his life no matter what his age was-I should of taken him to the vets sooner-I called the day he got sick but my vet couldn,t see him until 8 am the next day-I called back the same day he got sick and said I thought he was worse-and they said I could bring him to the emergency animal clinic-I didn’t want to do that -as I thought due to his age and other peoples experiences and my own with other familiy pets I took care of -particularly my daughters cat who took a quick slide one day and I took her to emergency clinic-they told me it looked hopeful and then called the next morning saying she died-I felt awful-no one with her-so not right-I knew Oliver could not be alone-I had to be with him-so stupdily I waited for the vet appt.- I had walked with Oliver on Sunday for 45 minutes-with a friend and her dog-he was slow but still had lots of life and love in him-I noticed he wasn;t eating in the am but sometimes he woukd do that and eat later-he slept allot but he does that be an older dog too-then on Monday at 3.20 am-I smelt poop and found him on the kitchen floor covered in it-and he couldnt get up-I think he was slipping on the linoleum-so I carried him into the bathroom-and put him in the tub-and washed him-towel dried him and put him on his bed-he slept most of the day-I thought he ate something that made him sick -he had a sensitive stomach to start-later that night I noticed his heart was racing faster than usual-he felt a little warm-I slept with him right beside me-he changed positions a couple of times-I fed him ice cubes he wouldnt drink any water -I didnt want him to get dehydrated-he stood up once and I took him outside -he almost fell over when he was pooping I held him up and brought him back in-at one point in the morning before I took him to vets i had someone help carry him part of the way to my car-some of it he walked -he stopped and looked at me like he didnt want to come back into our house-Im not sure if he was in pain and didnt want to move or if he was saying do something-I then took him to his vet who loves Oliver-everyone their loved him-they took his temp and it was 104.5 and he was almost dehydrated -gums starting to be dry-he twitched when touched -I know he knows I was their my vet said you can take him to Emergency clinic -but they will poke and prod him with IV fluids and antibiotcis with no guarantees I think he said he could be their for a few days-no guartantee at his age he would make it-I called all my girls-2 said its his time to go Mum -and you can be with him-my oldest daughter said why a fever-I feel like I should of investigated further why the fever-but NO i let myself be influenced by the vet -Im not saying its his fault-he told me it was my decision to make and left me with Oliver to make it-I decide to let him go-as I thought he would suffer and not know anyone at the clinic and I wouldnt be thier as they put them in a cage an d hook them up-you can go in initially but then thery take the dog-I couldn’t bear to hear he suffered and then died without me-but now I feel like why didn’t I try or have my vet try to save him-maybe he just had a bladder infection-I know I sound all over the place but I need to say it or I will burst form guilt-I feel like Oliver is saying to me-I get sick and this is what you do -KILL ME-
    I am in shocked honestly-I feel unable to reallyu enjoy much of anything-I am just going through the motions -I had Ollie as I always called him cremated and picked up his ashed yesterday-I hugged the box and told him I was sorry-I do feel like he is with me a little more now-but the loss is heartbreaking -I am trying to concentrate on all the happy times we had together and how much I think he knew I loved him-it was he and I as my kids are all grown and have their own families now -and I have been divorced for years-I walk into my house and feel a rush of sadness that is overwhelming at times-I see his dog dish and bed and collar I can smell him-I saved a piece of his hair-I keep smelling that-I am seriously thinking of getting another poodle but I,m not sure that is the right thing to do so soon-I would appreciate anyones thoughts on that-my chest is heavy-I am trying to move forward but I tell myself this is normal-and reading on your heartfelt stories lets me know I am not alone and that does help-I LOVE YOU OLLIE AND I HOPE YOU FORGIVE ME!

  39. I lost my beautiful best friend Bailey 3 days ago, after I chose to have him put to rest to stop any suffering he may have had to have gone through. I only took him for his yearly jabs, but the vet was concerned with his recent weight loss and slow walking pace. He had also started to drink so much more water than normal. The vet said it would either be kidney issues or diabetes, she also told me he was going blind and had lots of lumps over his body. I asked her opinion and she said as he was coming up for 12, he was an old man and she thought we were looking at months rather than a longer period. She said he would only get worse and suffer. I had always promised Bailey from the age of 8 weeks that I would never let him suffer, and so I made the hardest decision of my life to have him euthanized. I couldn’t bear to be with him when it happened, so I sat on the vets floor cradling him telling him I was sorry. He looked like he didn’t really know what I was saying, but I kissed him and told him I loved him so much, and that he was the best dog in the world. He was then led by the vet into the back of the surgery. That was the last memory of my baby boy, being led away to his death as if just going on another walk. I am filled with the most tremendous guilt, what if the vet had been wrong, what if I had just said I would pay for whatever needed to be done and we would see. It feels like I murdered him. I keep replaying the last moments in that room over and over in my head. Today I have felt a little stronger, trying to keep busy, but I find myself staring into space thinking about his big sad brown eyes and how I will never see him again. I know it will get better, each day is a step forward, I will never stop loving my gorgeous American Cocker Spaniel, and I know my pain will ease. I have good hours and bad hours, I feel hungry and then I’m not, I sleep deeply for a few hours and then I wake and cry. I will never forget Bailey touching my life, he was a true friend and the only one that knew all my secrets but never told, he gave the best cuddles and made me smile every time I was with him. Rest in peace my baby Bailey boy, I am so sorry and I will love and miss you always. XXXXXXXX

  40. Some days I feel like people don’t understand me… I lost my Princess a little bit over a year ago and the pain feels like it was only a day ago. The other day I thought I was going crazy because I still fall apart at the thought of her gone. When I see her pictures on my lap top I cry for hours and it seems like it gets harder each day. There are days where I look at myself in the mirror and I don’t recognize the person staring back at me, I don’t feel like myself some times. I decided to google it and it brought me to this page. This page was all I needed. I’m grieving still… It’s hard loosing someone you grew so close to. Princess was like my best friend, some times I feel like she was my child. I am so sorry for your loss, your video made me smile and reminded me of all the things a dog can teach a human being. Thank you.

  41. I lost my dog Lucky on August 30th, 2015. While it’s been almost two months, I still think about her all the time. Any time I’m alone at night, I start to get emotional. She died relatively young at 7 years old. I still am not sure the cause, and I don’t think I’ll ever know. I came home from school one weekend and she seemed fine. As the weekend wore on though, she became real skittish and was have pain her stomach. We went to the vet the night before she died but didn’t have any tests run on her. I only wish we would’ve run every test on her. The next morning she was crying out in pain and as we were carrying her to the car she let out one final yelp and stopped breathing. I held her in my arms when she died. I haven’t been the same since. It helps to come and read comments like these to know I am not alone though. I will always love my Lucky Charm.

  42. These stories are ALL so devastating and heartwarming at the same time that they alone are enough to help someone through their grief. It’s been 10 yrs this Oct since I had to have my wonderful Border Collie,Cinnamon put down. This dog was such a joy to wake up or come home to that I still grieve as strongly as I did when that traumatic day happened. She never complained about anything,always brite eyed and waggy tailed and ready to kiss you at any given moment and I will always treasure her memory forever,hopi g that some day we are reunited once again and I truly believe I will see her again! I have the most trouble when I hear the song ‘Rain’, by Russ Freeman and the Rippingtons, because every time this song played,she would jump in my lap and kiss me then lay down and snuggle. So thank-you to all you kind hearted,lovers of truely man’s best friend. You have helped me

  43. We just put our 13 year old Beagle down. She’s been with us our entire marriage, and we’ve never lived in a house together without that dog scampering about, howling, snoring, and sounding like a pot bellied pig rummaging the floor for scraps. She was diagnosed with Cushing’s disease a year ago, and she pulled through that first downward spiral and got back to relative health for a while, but the last few weeks she was showing signs of going downhill again. She was drinking water constantly and couldn’t hold her pee more than a few hours. She slept most of the day and wouldn’t even come out of our bedroom when I got home from work. I feel like she might have lived another few months or maybe even another year, but we promised ourselves that once she showed signs of going downhill again we wouldn’t wait. I regret that now, feel guilty that we might have done it too soon. That’s probably just normal guilt from a loss like this, but I can’t help but feeling this way. We were at the point this past month where she was dumping pee (literally just falling out of her) on the carpet when we couldn’t get her out quick enough, and I feel terrible that our selfish desires may have played a part in our decision to put her down. The day leading up to putting her down, I was sad about what was about to happen, but also a little excited about having a house without carpet stains and dog hair everywhere. Now that it’s over, I feel like absolute crap and I could care less what our stupid carpets look like. I feel guilty for even thinking those things instead of cherishing every last moment we had with her. I know in my heart she wasn’t going to live much longer, and I’ll keep telling myself she was already in pain and we spared her the worst of it, but I’m absolutely devastated by all the remorse and sadness I feel. Our house feels completely empty, even though we have 3 crazy kids running around. I know it will pass. Just sucks for now.

  44. I lost my bassett Ralph 2 weeks ago at 12 years old. I can’t shake the feeling that he’s just in a different room.

  45. Reading all of the posts on this site haso not stopped my tears, but I no longer feel alone and like I am going crazy in my grief. Perhaps telling you about Russell will help me further.
    He was a wonderful large chocolate Labrador whom I rescued when he was two years old. He was a little rough around the edges, scared of men and of being handled, but I spent a lot of time working with him. At the age of
    4, he was certified as a Therapy Dog and for 6 years we visited a seniors home weekly. His love was returned ten fold. He was a natural and staff and residents alike were drawn in by his magnetism.
    Russell and I were very close. We walked 4 km every day, and when I was not working he was at my side most of the time. He was my best friend, my exercise machine, confidante, therapist, and the shoulder I cried on. As my friend said, Russell was my life.
    On July 1st, 2015 I felt a lump I his muzzle while bathing him. A biopsy revealed a mast cell tumor. Surgery would have removed part of his nose, some teeth and jaw, then be followed by chemo therapy … and a high chance of it not succeeding. I could not do that to Russell. He was put on palliative care, and for the first while i really didn’t see differences in him. I began to delude myself into thinking maybe he had had that tumor a long while and that he would live a long life after all. Wrong.
    Early I’m September Russell began experiencing changes. Rapidly. His face became itchy. He couldn’t sleep through the night. Some nights I slept on the floor with him. But he couldn’t seem to get comfortable for long. His medication was changed, but his discomfort did not.
    It hurts too much to describe the various things that began happening.
    On Monday, September 14th, 2015 Russell was euthenized. My heart is broken. My life is so empty. It has been almost three weeks now. The condolences by way of flowers, cards,calls, letters, and donations to the Spca in Russell name have stopped. My tears have not.
    Thanks for listening.

  46. My Jack Russell pup died last friday 4/9/15 – this day I will never ever forget. He was unwell for 2/3 weeks prior, his eyes looked more sadder then usual and when taken to the vet they said he had low red blood cells. He was given an injection of antibiotics and it seemed like he was well. Then 8/9/15 he played with his little brother (another JR) and his family, ate his dinner and then the next day my mum found his little lifeless body lying where he sleeps. I was distraught when my mum told me and then when I saw him myself, I was just devastated. I feel soooooooo guilty that we didn’t urge the vet to take further tests, get a blood test! I remember him looking at me with his sad eyes!!!! I keep going through it in my head again and again………. Cocoa still had at least the next 3 years with us, I remember saying that to my mum the Sunday before he passed. This was the last time I played with him and told him he would be okay. I feel soo heart broken, sooo very guilty. I will always love and miss my puppy for as long as I live. I just hate the way things happened and I am so angry, I always keep my family and my pups in my prayers so they are well and safe… and then Cocoa just dies suddenly. I don’t even know how he died as I was/am to distraught to even think of doing a PM on him. I received a call just before that Cocoa was cremated so I am waiting… my pup will be back home soon. Goodbye my baby, I will always love you and will never forget you, and I will see you one day again. You were the best dog ever.

  47. i just lost my dog yesterday. He was ran over in front of my house. He was only 6 months old…. i saw him dying in the middle of the street. I ran to him and saw his body jumping. His eyes popped out and was covered in blood. i picked him up and my arms were covered in blood. I close my eyes and i have this image over and over again. He was my baby. I was there when he was born..and when he started to walk. He slept with me and was always behind me as i walked. I can’t stop crying. I cannot sleep. I feel lonely and empty inside. I feel like no one understands me. I miss him so much and i can’t look at another dog without thinking about my baby.. Rocky.

  48. Thank you to all who share the love of your animal companions and the grief you suffer at their passing. Sharing your stories helps those of us in pain understand that we are not crazy and certainly not alone in the depth of our despair at such a significant loss.

    We said goodbye to our first foster dog only six months ago. Before we could heal, our companion and beloved Jack Russell was diagnosed with aggressive nasal cancer. Toby and Rusty remain in our hearts, yet we ache to kiss their wet noses, long for the soulful look in their precious brown eyes, and wish we could hug them just ine more time…
    Tears are running down my cheeks and my eyes are stinging so its hard to write… What our furry companions mean to us only we really know…

    Thank you to everyone out there. I wish you peace and comfort in your time of grief.

  49. On August 7, 2015 I took my beautiful girl Genevere (a blue chow); she who would be ten years of age on October 18th for an ultrasound.. she had been unable to eat without being sick afterwards and was losing weight and energy.
    The ultrasound (per the vet) showed no juices flowing through her gastrointestinal tract and there was a 90 to 95% chance that she had stomach cancer.

    Genevere and I had been through thick and thin together; relationships, moves, my illnesses….I just didn’t want to let her go nor did she look like she was even sick.
    We brought her home with the idea to spoil her and love her up even more than her daily hugs and kisses —–
    the morning of August 8th, 2015 she seemed to have a bit of a breathing issue, looked so sad and with not being able to eat was unsteady on her feet.
    Logically I felt Genevere had been hiding her pain, never a cry or wince. I just knew she wouldn’t make it through the weekend and i/we loved her sooo much we couldn’t put her through more pain.
    Watching Genevere fall to sleep before the final step was heartbreaking —as I write this I am in tears and my heart actually hurts.
    She was always my baby girl and a fighter- tough as nails and just as stubborn.
    Before she fell asleep she git to her feet and turned towards me, I stroked her cute little round face and told her I loved her, snuggled in and she gave me a kiss; I will never forget that love.

    Genevere is now back with us cremated, she sits on my bedroom dresser next to my first chow Cubby (whom they had bonded together as best friends). Just as Cubby passing left Genevere alone til we got a sister for her (Maggie-mae), Genevere has now left Maggie alone.
    The house feels sooo empty and poor little Maggie still waits for the cue Genevere used to give her to eat, go outside, etc.
    Maggie waits on the stairs wondering each time we come through the door whether Genevere is with us.

    We love you and miss you so very much Genevere..may your spirit surround all of us always.


  50. I had to put my bassett hound Roscoe, my beautiful baby down on Monday 8/10/15. My heart is so broken. He was my soulmate doggie. He was 8 yrs old. My baby was the sweetest pup you could ever have the pleasure of meeting. He loved everyone. He wanted to play with them or get a belly rub. And he was super intelligent. My heart is so broken. I hurt with a deepness that I don’t know if I will ever be able to adjust. My pain is deep in my chest. I am so sad, right into my soul. I also am so mad at God. I have had hard a life, and hey I dealt with it, but this time God took something from me that I loved more than anything on earth. Don’t say it was not God’s doing. He could have fixed this, and say not now. My pup got to the point that blood was coming from both sides of his nose. He was dying of cancer. I begged and prayed that God would take him in his sleep, but NO, I had to make the choice of sending him to the Rainbow Bridge. I did not want to make a decision like that. He was my love, my friend, my companion, my pup. Now he is gone and I feel so guilty. I love him so much. I am married, and I have 2 more dogs. But Roscoe stuck to me like we were glued together with super glue. He would talk to me, and he had a way of looking into my soul with his eyes. He slept so close to me I would hang on the edge of the bed. Why God, why this. When is enough…..enough?

  51. This was very helpful. I lost my best friend my brother on Monday. We had him for 12 years. He was a boxer. Pit theBoxer as everyone called him. He had cancer. We did about 7 operations the last 8 year. The last one was leukaemia. He lost 30% of his blood in one night. He passed it again one month ago and tried to fight it. He was my everything. I feel empty. I feel lost. I feel a part of me died with him. I know that he would have wanted me to be smiling and happy.
    I miss him so much. Now I was sorting his toys out and remembering all the funny things he used to do.
    Our house is empty now. With him it was a home now it’s just a house.

  52. I am so heartbroken. We had to put our baby to sleep yesterday. Kimo was a rescued puppy. We had her since we got our home in 2004. I was not dog person at first I thought she smelled bad and looked funny. My hubby instantly fell in love with her. It did not take me long to love her. She changed me 🙂 she was our protector our companion our love and family. We missed her so much. The whole day yesterday and this morning my hubby and I can’t stop crying. It’s hard enough I lost my father this year too and now my most beloved Kimo. 2015 is not my year for sure. Thanks for sharing your stories.

  53. 🙁 it helps but i lost my dog too i know how u feel she was a sweet dog i had good memories with her but just it was going to happen at 1 point becease the live they die its just in gods special way i just really miss her i wake up every morning thinking about her i hate dog cancer its what caused all this badniss she had to go to my grandmas house becease of are landlord we had to many anamales in the house but at some point all of them wil be gone they live they die i know i said it 2+ but whatever it matters i just have ben depressed for days weeks months years agers millions and millions of years plus my grandpa just died and lm going through hard stuff know i cryied to deth but my grandmpa and pumpkin with her floppy ears them 2 will alwase be in my heart sighning off for know goodby granpa and pumpkin 🙂 🙁