To love a dog is to truly know the meaning of unconditional love. If you were lucky enough to share your life with a dog, especially a ‘soulmate dog’ who has passed or is nearing the end of life, then you also have the flip-side of such a strong relationship: grief. Every experience of grief is unique, so you can’t really be prepared for the loss of your dog.
Some of the things that you might do or think while grieving may make you think you are having a permanent mental crisis. Chances are, though, you’re just experiencing the agony of grief. This article will help you understand some of the common feelings, behaviors, and thoughts that may come with the loss of your dog.
It is my hope that while an article can’t get rid of the sadness or fill the empty hole in your heart, it may encourage you to find a way to grow from this experience and see it as yet another gift from your dog.
Is my grief normal? How long will this last?
You may be surprised to have so much grief from the loss of your dog, or to be experiencing grief before your dog is even gone. This grief is completely normal, and may be misunderstood by the people around you. They may accuse you of overreacting. It is, after all, ‘just a dog.’ You may even tell yourself that and try to avoid working through your grief by keeping busy or attempt to ‘get rid of it’ as soon as possible.
Your grief will probably not be gone in a few weeks or even months. Because of the special relationship we have with our dogs, grief of a beloved dog can often be more intense than the death of a family member, and coming to terms with the change will take as long as it takes.
The good news is that you do not have to ever ‘get over’ the loss of your dog; you do not have to forget your dog. Mourning and processing your grief will allow you to change the relationship with the tangible dog of fur and drool to a relationship with a dog within your own heart and mind. Your dog will always be there, as will your love. The sharp and painful edges, however, will dull with a deliberate, mindful practice of mourning, and the joy in the connection will return.
Other losses cause grief, too
There are many losses that we grieve, whether we are aware of it or not. If you do not consciously process that grief, it can remain dormant until the next loss, and over time, you build up a big pile of losses as time goes on, and sometimes a loss is so strong that you are forced to grieve not only that loss, but others as well. So instead of just the one loss, you are processing a “multiple loss” of the current loss plus whatever else you have lost in the past.
Some of life’s experiences that can cause grief are:
- Death of family or friends, including pets
- Loss/change of a home, moving away from parents, etc.
- Loss/change of a job or job description
- Birth of a child / acquisition of a dog (loss of the lifestyle that came before)
- Hysterectomy (loss of ability to give birth)
- Divorce (loss of partner, lifestyle, and can involve the loss of kids or pets)
- Moving
- Loss of community due to habit or activity changes
- Kids moving out (loss of current family lifestyle)
- Break-ups with friends or friends moving away
Seven Principles of Grief
The idea that every loss is a multiple loss is one of the Seven Principles of Grief by J. Shep Jeffries (2007). If you want a giant overview of the grief process, I recommend you read that book. Here is his full list of grief principles:
- Principle One: You cannot fix or cure grief.
- Principle Two: There is no one right way to grieve.
- Principle Three: There is no universal timetable for the grief journey.
- Principle Four: Every loss is a multiple loss.
- Principle Five: Change=Loss=Grief.
- Principle Six: We grieve old loss while grieving new loss.
- Principle Seven: We grieve when a loss has occurred or is threatened.
I think I’m losing my mind. Is that normal, too?
Yup. Many people (especially ones without dogs) don’t understand that dog lovers experience real, strong grief when they lose their dogs. They may give their condolences upon first hearing of your loss, but may not realize that you continue to be in pain as time goes on, and wonder why you are still crying, irritable, or otherwise ‘not yourself’ as time passes.
You may wonder, yourself, whether you should be worried about your mental state. Here are some cognitive symptoms of grief, from J. Shep Jeffrey’s book, “Helping Grieving People” (2007, Kindle Locations 1462-1480):
- Responding sluggishly to questions.
- Difficulty concentrating.
- Loss of interest in usual activities—work, sports, games, collecting, social clubs.
- Loss of pleasure—avoids sex, entertainment, food, and social events.
- General numbness—shutdown of reactions to social stimuli, no pain, and no joy.
- Intrusive thoughts about the loss—constant barrage of thoughts.
- Confusion and disorientation—difficulty with time sequences, location.
- A sense of futility about life—”What’s the use?” and “Why bother?”
- A sense of helplessness—”Can’t do anything to help myself.”
- Uncertainty about identity—”Who am I now?” and “How do I present myself to others now?”
- So-called “crazy” thoughts—hearing or seeing the lost loved one; feeling like they can communicate with them. Depending on one’s spiritual beliefs, this can be quite healthy, like your own personal dog angel or a way to tap into your own wisdom.
- Mental fatigue—too tired to figure things out, mind just won’t work.
5 Tips for Self-Care
These are things you can do to help even if your loss was a long time ago. You will always love your dog. But if the loss was recent or tears still overcome you whenever you think of your dog, the grief may not be fully processed, and your health and relationships can suffer because of it. There are many other things to do, but here are five important ways you can take care of yourself.
- Feel your feelings without shame. You grieve the loss of your dog because you are human and you truly love your dog. Your feelings are real and need to be honored.
- Express your feelings and talk about the experience of your dog’s life and death or loss. Talk to friends, post online, or take a look at the chat rooms in the Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement website. It is normal (but incorrect) for other people to assume you can move on quickly, because it wasn’t their loss. Don’t count on people to bring up your loss. They may think that avoiding it will make you feel better. Denial may help, in the short term, but it will come back to haunt you. If your own personal network is tired of hearing about your loss, then go to a support group and/or connect with people online. You don’t have to spend any time with friends who belittle your loss, compare your loss to theirs, or change the conversation to be about them instead of you and your dog.A lot of us try to be stoic, but we’re not doing anyone any favors if we don’t process our grief, because it can come out in other unpleasant ways (back pain, crankiness, overemotionality, underemotionality, lack of ability to form good relationships, you name it).
- Honor your dog’s life with some sort of ‘shrine.’ Put together a slideshow or video of your dog’s life, like the ones I made for Spoon and Peanut (below). Write a song. Make a collage for your wall with photos and/or your dog’s collar. Do a memorial ceremony where friends and family who knew your dog talk about his life and how it affected them. Create a web site in honor of your dog. Write a letter to your dog and read aloud to someone or post it in our Grief Letters group.
- Give yourself permission to not grieve all the time. It’s okay to be happy even after the loss of your dog. It’s okay to enjoy the pets that you still have with you, too. You can set time aside to not grieve, or set time aside to grieve, whatever works for you.
- Take care of your physical body. Hydrate, exercise, eat, sleep, and get out of bed. Dogs can provide companionship, exercise, and even give us a reason to get up in the morning. Without your dog, you may have to push yourself to do these things, but it will become easier over time. Without water or sleep, it’s easy to fall into a downward spiral. Melatonin and meditation can be very helpful for getting to sleep. Light exercise, like walking around the block, can have a great effect on your mood. Walking where you normally went with your dog may bring up a lot of memories with your dog. Allow yourself to feel the grief of that loss but whenever it comes to you, allow yourself to remember the joy you shared with your dog, too.
4 Healing Tasks for the Grieving Person or Family
As I’ve said before, everyone’s grief is different, but the Jeffries book that I mentioned before lists five things that you might do as you mourn your dog’s death or loss. I wanted to share this with you because you may be more familiar with the outdated idea that there are stages. Instead, we simply encounter grief in waves and eventually (if we’re persistent) work our way through these five tasks in our own personal order.
- Sharing Acknowledgment of Death or Loss. Really, truly understand the finality of the loss. This is where having a shrine and memorial ceremony come in. Work on open communication about the death in your family, including children, in an age-appropriate way. Doing something together as a family to celebrate the life of the dog and mourn the loss can help heal, as can involving friends.
Pre-Loss Tip: If your dog hasn’t yet passed, please read this.
One way to give your brain time to feel the finality of the loss is to keep your dog’s body at home for a few days, and to take part in the cremation or burial instead of just leaving your dog’s body at the vet. Before rigor mortis sets in, curl your dog into a sleeping position with the chin tilted slightly up (so nothing runs out – sorry it’s gross but true). Place an absorbent cloth under your dog in case there is any leakage from the other end. Stay home, don’t work, don’t talk about anything you don’t want to talk about. You can keep your dog home for up to 1-2 days: when rigor mortis fades and the body starts to soften again (after about 3 days) it’s truly time to do the funeral. - Sharing the Pain and Grief. Talk about the loss and keep talking. Express emotions. Feel. Don’t be surprised if your partner expresses his or her pain differently. That’s normal and does not mean s/he is a monster. Do not hold in what you are feeling in order to keep someone else from feeling bad. It’s good for both of you to talk about your guilt, anger, shame, pain, etc. People used to write about their dog in the comments, but we had to turn comments off. But you can share a letter to your dog in our Grief Letters Facebook group. Better yet, write a letter and read it aloud to people who can listen in silence.
- Reorganizing the Family System. This is the logistical part of loss, as in “now I have only one dog to feed, not two.” Or “Do I bury my dog or cremate her or both?” “How do I deal with the change of relationship with my remaining animals?” “Now that the dog-reactive dog is no longer with us, should we start going on more walks with the other one?”
- Creating New Directions, Relationships, and Goals. This is not a fast process, not a goal to reach as quickly as possible, but be aware that this is something that is healthy to do. This task might involve getting a new dog or other pet, perhaps the same breed or perhaps a different one. It might mean deciding to volunteer at a shelter to get your dog fix in some other way, or doing the traveling that you couldn’t do with your dog.If your dog was reactive or had other behavior problems, you might feel guilty about seeing his or her passing as an opportunity, but it’s also a realistic truth. This final task is about moving on and exploring new options for your life now that the situation has changed, while still holding your dog in a special place in your heart. Task four also involves exploring the possibility of your loss as a profound self-development experience. More on that next.
Your dog’s final gift to you
Life with a dog can teach you a lot: how to live in the moment, how to enjoy the smell of fresh-mown grass or the first snow of the year to its fullest, even how to forgive. Those lessons don’t stop with their heartbeats.
Your dog’s death can also teach you to live in the moment, give you insight into what it means to be alive, and give you an opportunity for growth. Click here for some lessons I got from Peanut.
This chance to learn is a parting gift from your dog. Joining a pet loss support group (in person or online) and reading books on grief will help you put your grief in perspective and give you a way to continue processing your grief. It’s very important to express your feelings during this time. “The outward expression of grief, or mourning, is how you externalize those thoughts and feelings and ultimately, integrate them into your life” (Wolfelt, 2004, Kindle Locations 47-48).
I find it helpful to write letters when I mourn. It’s an idea from the Grief Recovery Handbook. The letter basically has 3 parts:
- My apologies to them
- Anything for which I forgive them (note that forgiveness means “I accept that this happened in the past and can no longer be changed. It doesn’t mean whatever happened was okay).
- Other emotional content I want to share, like gratitudes.
I conclude with “goodbye” and their name, knowing it’s the end of a physical connection, but the emotional ties live on. Finally, I read the letter to someone who will simply listen in silence, what the Grief Recovery Handbook calls “a heart with ears.” If you’re a Diamond member of the Grisha Stewart Academy, we have a spot to post your Grief Letters.
It may also be helpful to work with a therapist. While the grieving process is not a problem to be fixed, it is a time of tumultuous emotionality, from relief and intense guilt to anger and sadness. The loss of your dog may be an opportunity to understand the grief process and to work on the unprocessed grief of other losses in your life.
Recommended Reading on Grief and Mourning
- Kowalski, G. (2006). Goodbye, friend: Healing wisdom for anyone who has ever lost a pet.
- Rose Sr, D. C. (1990). The Grief Recovery Handbook: A Step-by-Step Program for Moving beyond Loss.
- Shelton, F. T. (2023). The Spirituality of Grief: Ten Practices for Those who Remain.
- Somé, S. Embracing Grief: Surrendering to Your Sorrow Has the Power to Heal the Deepest of Wounds. Sobonfu Somé.
- Weller, Francis. (2015). The wild edge of sorrow: Rituals of renewal.
- Wolfelt, A. D. (2004). When your pet dies: A guide to mourning, remembering and healing.
NOTE: The comments are now off for this post. I moved this post from another blog. There were so many loving comments from people who had lost their beloved pets that I didn’t want to delete them, so here they are. You can still share a letter to your dog in our Grief Letters Facebook group.
Anne Says:
August 28th, 2011 at 5:12 pm We are experiencing this at the moment having lost my heart dog almost three weeks ago. I am lucky that I work in the animal care industry with so many who understand that losing a dog, especially one so special, is going to have a major impact on your behaviour, emotional state and ability to take part in life. I have amazing support from friends, family, clients and colleagues and it is still difficult so I can’t imagine what is must be like without having that support structure. But I am beginning to be able to appreciate his life and the part I played in it, and he in mine, more and more so healing is on-going. I will say no more as its still difficult to think about it and translate those thoughts to words. Thank you Grisha for writing this.
Grisha Says:
August 28th, 2011 at 9:52 pm Sorry for your loss, Anne. Healing is a process and there are ups and downs. Good luck to you on this journey.
Nancy Says:
August 29th, 2011 at 12:32 pm I’m sorry for your loss Anne. I lost one of my furbabies 4 weeks ago today. He was 14 and diagnosed with lymphoma. I’ve been through chemo and I know “they” say most dogs handle it well, I couldn’t put him through that, not at his age especially. It’s still poison and has to weaken the immune system in dogs like it does people, dogs just don’t complain.Thank you Grisha for writing this. I haven’t lost one in 14 1/2 years until Max 4 weeks ago and the emotional roller coaster is hell. I know friends mean well, but the comments like, you have 3 other dogs or, are you going to “replace” him, hurts. You can never replace one of your “kids” whether 2 or 4 legged and as much as I love my other 3 dogs and 2 cats, they are all unique and it’s not the same in the house, how could it be. Thankfully I have a doc that, even though she doesn’t have dogs, knows how I feel about mine and respects it and gave me a med so I can get some sleep at night and help with the anxiety. I think this article is not only helpful for those of us who have lost our precious, furry child, but hopefully it will help others to at least respect our pain and realize some of us truly do love ours with all our hearts. That unconditional love is one that only animals can give.
Grisha Says:
August 29th, 2011 at 1:21 pm Thanks for sharing, Nancy. There are a lot of things that people do or say that can accidentally hurt, like handing you tissue when you start to cry (versus just letting you talk or cry and having tissue around, in case you need it). Any tips from your own experience that you can share for what people should or should not do would be useful for the people reading this blog.
Connie Says:
August 29th, 2011 at 11:59 pm A very thoughtful and helpful article, Grisha. As a nurse, I’ve done grief counseling with many patients and families, especially when working in the NICU. As someone who works with dogs and their humans, a trainer, handler, doglover…I’ve done grief counseling with many humans, while also helping the human moms and dads come to terms with what they may experience while grieving for their pet. Your article very gently explains the many faces of grief…none of them crazy or wrong. Whether it be the death of a human loved one, or a beloved pet, encouraging the person who is grieving to talk is one of the greatest gifts you can give them. Some people say, “no, that will just upset them.” They are already upset, and letting someone talk about the good times and the sadness helps a person to deal with their grief.It’s been 10 wks since our beloved Sheltie, Jake, crossed the Bridge, but we had 6 months to celebrate his life and slowly prepare for his death. He was 13 1/2 yrs old and started having seizures last November.
What is still hard to think about and talk about is my heart and soul dog, Lacey. Three days before Jake crossed, Lacey was diagnosed with primary lung cancer. A total shock.
On her behalf, I opted out of surgery and the chemo and radiation that would have followed. We were hoping for at least 6 more months with her. It was 5 weeks. I can’t say thank you enough to our vets, their staff and family. My husband has been there for me every step of the way, as have so many of my friends who understand the loss of a beloved pet. Some words can sting, especially when a family member says, “Well, she lived a better life than she would have with someone else, but you have to remember she was just a dog.” Sigh…
Susan Says:
August 30th, 2011 at 5:53 pm Aloha Grisha,My beautiful boy, Bruno crossed over the Rainbow Bridge on Sept. 3, 2009 and I am still griefing the loss of this guy. It was nice to read this and know for sure that I am not crazy. When I adopted him for an older German lady who had him chained as the guard dog, I always told him “You and me together forever.” He went everywhere with me and he was such a people magnet. 130 lbs. of love and joy!! He is in my Heart each and every day. What a blessing having that unconditional love in my life. Nothing like it!! Mahalo nui loa from Maui, Hawaii.
Megan Says:
August 31st, 2011 at 9:44 amThis is very difficult for me to write. If I had my way I would suffer my grief in private, but this article has stirred up deep feelings and I feel if even one pet (or person) can be saved from the heartbreak we suffered by me sharing our experience, it is worth bearing the pain to share our story. Last year our beautiful and beloved 15 month old puppy Ziva drowned in a backyard pool. It was as innocent as a day could be. Beautiful and sunny – our two Boston Terrier dogs, Kaia & Ziva, were playing like crazy and loving the freedom of the fenced backyard at a friend’s home. Many dogs (including our own) have played and enjoyed this yard for years… but something unthinkable happened when everyone was enjoying a perfect summer’s day. One minute the pups were running freely in the yard and the next minute we couldn’t recall Ziva. Kaia was by our side. Ziva has a tendency to wander so we were not overly concerned at first until after the traditional “Treat! Treat! Treat!” call was met with no response. Subtle panic set in as we immediately thought she had gotten out from the fenced yard and had wandered into the woods or across the busy road. It wasn’t until our friend said “We should check the pool.” She also immediately said – “But I am sure she is not there.”, but she was wrong. The solar bubble cover was on half the pool and as we rolled it back we saw our beloved Ziva lying at the bottom. We dove in and pulled her out. We did CPR, mouth to mouth, and everything we could think of to revive her, but we were too late. We will never know if she fell in while playing with Kaia; if she was trying to get a drink and leaned in too far; or if she was just simply chasing a butterfly (as she is known to do) and didn’t look where she was running; but somehow no one saw or heard her jump or fall into the pool where she couldn’t manage to get out again. You will never know the grief and overwhelming guilt we all feel about this accident. It is as strong today as it was then. Ziva was one of the most loving and wonderful dogs we have ever known. We only had her in our lives for a few months, but we know she enjoyed her time with us immensely and Kaia was her best friend. My heart will never heal from the loss of our dear Ziva. She came into our lives unexpectedly and left us just as unexpectedly. But the message I wish to share with everyone and the lesson we can all take away from this tragedy is that every place is an unexpected hazard to our pets. Where dozens of dogs had been perfectly safe was a place of danger to our darling Ziva. Please always look with extra cautious eyes at all your surroundings and where you leave your dogs and other animals. Where we see familiar places and safe circumstances, may in fact be dangerous situations for our dear pets. There is no way to foresee every possible, imaginable hazard, but please – because of our loss – please look at least at backyard pools as potential dangers and please do everything you can to keep your pets safe. The loss of a pet from old age and disease is absolutely heartbreaking, but losing a pet in an accident which you feel could have been avoided carries a level of guilt that compounds the pain that will never leave you. Thank you for reading this and all the bests to you and your loved ones (2 legged and 4 legged ones included). Rest in peace dear Ziva. We love you.
Sharon Says:
September 1st, 2011 at 5:38 amPeople who are mourning a pet also can visit the online chatrooms of the Association of Pet Loss and Bereavement. It’s a safe place where people can share emotions. No matter whether a pet is lost to accident, illness, old age, gone missing or stolen, or any other tragic circumstance, people in the chatroom support each other and understand the pain since they have experienced it themselves. The main website is http://www.aplb.org.
Chrissy Says:
September 8th, 2011 at 4:02 pm Hi everyone,
I just wanted to let you know that I have read all the stories posted here and hope that it brings me some solitude to an aging dog.
I have a Great Dane that is not in good condition and I know that I must put him down and it is killing me to even think of it. He has trouble breathing and if he gets over excited he cannot breathe, causing him to gasp for air. This came on suddenly and it is in his lineage of danes so I know he cannot go on for long.
I am hoping I can cope with the loss as I am tearful already and it hurts worse than losing a loved one. He has been with me since he was born and now he is 7 and I keep praying that it is not the end yet but I know it is.
So I know where all of you are comming from and the intensive pain that follows, my only hope is that I can function normaly, but I must admit losing him will really put the dampers on any thing I do.
Hope more people have comments that will help me ease the pain. Thanks to everyone for their stories and I know what you have felt. Thanks again
Kristina Callender Says:
October 7th, 2011 at 10:24 amHello Grisha,One of your students is a collegue of mine that told me about your services and suggested I reach out to tell you about my pet loss support groups in Northgate. I facilitate a Dog Gone 4 week pet loss support group to help end the isolation that comes with pet loss.
diane krieger Says:
February 3rd, 2013 at 10:53 amAloha Grisha and thank you for hosting this forum and for
your thoughts. I just lost my 13 year and 5 month old beautiful
girl, an American Eskimo, I’ve had from her first breath until her
last.. just a week ago. I am devastated and the guilt for all that
led to her death over the past few years. Living on a golf course
for a year and a half and allowing her to run on that toxic grass,
full of pesticides. Moving to a beautiful area on Kauai where she
could be on the beach and swim. But also an area where
irrresponsible owners of aggressive dogs allow them to attack the
innocent. My dog had to have two surgeries and insane amounts of
anesthesia, anti-biotics along with the shots, flea and worming
meds they say are necessary. I guess I’m writing all of this, so
that others won’t make the same mistakes. My dog died of liver
disease, brought on by choices I made and my guilt is unbearable.
My dog knows and always knew how much I loved her and she keeps
reminding me to remember that, but it’s so painful to have gone
through her physical lose of and her absence now and ever more. I
know she will always be with me in spirit and I am so grateful for
the gift of the unconditional love we’ve shared all this time. The
communication we had the last night together on the floor, in a
moment of telepathic understanding was beyond words. Had she been
looking so deeply into my eyes for all these years and this was the
only time I tuned into her and listened enough to hear her? Her
patience with me through all of these years was saintly. She wanted
to pass naturally and in my heart of hearts, I knew we were meant
to have that experience together, but well meaning friends
convinced me to ‘get the vet there asap’. He came to my home the
next morning, when she was already so close to going. It just
wasn’t necessary to intervene with her process. She was fine with
it and though she wanted to stay as long as possible, she was in
the moment with her reality. The vet did not explain to me what he
was going to do. When he gave her the sedative, she clearly said
with her eyes: ‘NO’, but relaxed into it when I told her it was
okay. The vet than came into the room 20 minutes later and had me
lay her on the floor, where he proceeded to put a lethal syringe
(enough for a horse) directly into her heart. I told him ‘this is
NOT necessary’, but he said it was quick. I was in shock and left
traumatized. In this case, with my dog not in pain, but passing
naturally in eye contact with me, our final and profound moments
together were stolen. The lesson here is: FOLLOW YOUR HEART AND THE
GUIDANCE OF YOUR ANIMAL. Do not let anyone or anything lead you
from that path. I ask my beloved friend for forgiveness and I know
as always, for all the times she wanted to go to the beach and said
‘hold on’, for not being on the floor with her for a week instead
of one night… she forgives, as selflessly as she loved. These
‘just dogs’…. they are light beings, they are our sacred
teachers, they are our hearts. Her name was ‘Pua’ and she will live
on in me.
Marianella Torres Says:
May 18th, 2013 at 12:35 amMy beautiful and amazing dog died 2 weeks ago. He was a 12 year old Chinese sharpie, I’m so depressed and devasteded with his dead. He was a very healthy dog all his life, he was my best friend, my companion, in other words tommy was everything for me. As I’m writing this tears are going down my face. My heart is broken in a million pieces. I can’t comprehend that he is not here anymore, it is very difficult for me!!! I took him to the vet on April 18 because he was limping from his front leg, they did x rays, and told me that he had arthritis, but they said that his heart and lungs were ok, so they gave me all the medication for pain and also antiflamatories. A few days later tommy was a little better, but after that he started coughing and I got really worried, because he was not the same dog. I took him to the vet again, and they said that he was not looking good. They took x rays of his lungs and discover that he had all this white patches around, and then they said they needed to do an ultrasound and a niddel aspiration of the lung to be sure what could it be the problem. After that they came out with 3 possible results. Cancer, a bacteria, or a fungus. They send the sample from the niddle aspiration of the lung to a lab to see if that would it give them better results, but that was done on wesnday and tommy died on Friday!!! We were at the house and he couldn’t breath. I was very despereted to see him that way. I felt helpless that I couldn’t help him,so I rush to the vet with him when you got there they gave him oxigene. I tought that he was getting better with the oxigene and the doctor said he will keep him there all night to make sure I could breath, so I felt I was doing the right thing for him leaving him there. But after approximately 40 minutes of giving him oxigene I was in the waiting room and one of the nurses can and said run they are giving him CPR I rush to see him, but the doctor didn’t let me enter the room. I was so devasteded and I started crying, because I knew in my heart that he died and I couldn’t say goodbye. I fell that I let him down that I should of taking him to the vet earlier. I felt soooooo much pain in my heart even days before he died, but now is even worse I fell so empty without him my life is not the same anymore I don’t knowwhat to do with all this pain. I cry all the time I miss him so much, he gave all his unconditional love. We were in love with each other our bond was so strong unbreakable. I felt that every time he looked at me his eyes were penetrating my soul…. My life will never be the same without him I have an empty heart and soul… They gave me his ashes 3 days ago and I have the box with them on top of one of my night stand tables to fell that he is closer to me… I think I’m going to go to a loss counselor because I need a lot of help. Tommy I love you sooooooooo very much, I hope you can forgive me….. Lani…
michelle Laurienti Says:
May 22nd, 2013 at 8:11 amMy beloved Belly buttons left behind her sister of 9 years, and me her mother, best friend soul mate, i have had my girls since birth, being great danes, i knew their life span was short, having had there dad, who lived only 8 years, i did everything right, the best grain free dog food, off to the vet for everything she was a breast cancer surviver And was on Cushings meds. Her sister desa has a titanium hip, i got sick 22 years ago and have wanted 2 give up so many times, my girls would not let me, Belly was my nurse, if i was sleeping too much she would rub her whiskers on my lips, to get me moving, she was my love, life, joy, the breath in my lungs,the light of my life, our souls were connected we could understand each other by a way i cant put into words, i cant hardly wait for my time to go becouse i miss her so much, i am trying to be careful not to let my greif affect her sister, who seems to have given up, i can. oonly get her to eat a little by spoon, it has been 10so days,
michelle Laurienti Says:
May 22nd, 2013 at 9:32 amI meant i have been sick for 2 years not 22, i have been
taking desa everywhere with me i dont want her to give up,but she
will only drink if i bring it to her, or eat if i hand feed her,
she wont eat treats or chew bones anymore how do i will her to
live? I cant loose her too
Robin Says:
May 22nd, 2013 at 12:58 pm I just lost my best friend yesterday so unexpected! Thought it was a pulled muscle, getting ready to go pick him up, vet called and it was a large tumor in his hip. a month to live he said and he would be in pain. I didn’t even get to say goodbye! He was my fourth Dane, and he turned six Saturday. We prayed for a long life, but it wasn’t long enough for me. I didn’t have my coffee drinking buddy this morning. I’m more sad than when my mother died! I don’t understand that. Was it my fault! I’ve had people say when they die they want to come back as my dog! What do I do with his big ole bed? I live in Oklahoma and was able to send his bedding and bowls and towels I dried him with to a shelter for misplaced dogs from the tornado. Lives lost 24, including children, I feel so guilty crying for my dog! But I know it’s ok. Bye Bishop!
Pam Says:
July 10th, 2013 at 7:18 pm I am so devastated still by the loss of my 2 beautiful doggies. They were 14 years old and I had them since they were 8 week old puppies. Lacey had a large liver mass and started having grand mal seizures. After have 4 of them in 2 days I could not let my baby suffer so the vet put her to sleep in my arms. 3 weeks and 2 days later, her sister Sweet pea died in my husband’s arms from renal failure. I loved those dogs more than I love myself. I can’t even think about them because I cannot bear the grief that comes with facing their loss. I yearn so much just to hold them, to smell them, to feel their warmth next to me. It does help to look at their pictures. I feel so alone and I am mad at God for taking the both of them. My life will never have the meaning it once did, and I will never be the same. They were a part of my family, and the love they had for me nothing else will ever replace.
Thanks for this website. It helps to know that there is validity of my feelings.
Susan Says:
September 2nd, 2013 at 1:23 pm I lost my Sofie 8 months ago and I still cry everyday for her. Sometimes I think I am going to go crazy without her. My niece was here this weekend with her dog and I didn’t know how I was going to react. Well, I felt like Paisley was in Sofie’s home and I didn’t like it at all. Now I know there is no way I can get another dog until this grief subsides. Sofie meant the world to me. She was born in Africa and we flew her to Idaho which thankfully after days of travel she made it fine. She had 7 wonderful years here hiking, swimming and just enjoying life. At 11 she got cancer but my wonderful Vet and Washington State Vet School did surgery and radiation on her. She was good for 3 more years then she started to fail. I wouldn’t give up. Tons of meds, organic food that I made and acupuncture for pain was the last 3 years of her life. Her Vet came to house to put her to sleep. I was so nervous and upset as Sofie was my husband’s and my life. For 3 months afterwards I just sat and stared at the park our house is attached to. Now 8 months later I can function but cry all the time, and really just want her back which I know is impossible. Sofie lived till she was 14 1/2 years old and I know she struggled the last 6 months of her life. I would scream at her Vet saying to do anything to save her. I must of seemed crazy. So thankfully when I do go on these grieving sites and I see that other people are feeling what I am feeling I know that I am not alone. There are other people who seem to be caught up in this grief as I am. This Fall I am planning to get out and try to start living again. Hope it works
Holly Says:
September 11th, 2013 at 6:35 amThank you for this article. I needed it today. We lost our beloved dog, Abby two days ago. When I say we, I mean not only my family but Abby’s daughter, Saddie as well. It’s just not been the same in our house. All the noises that were there when we got home to be greeted by the “girls”. The constant race to get to the doggy door to investigate the neighbor dogs, the begging for scraps at the table. All of it has changed without Abby there. We knew since Christmas of last year when she exhibited her first seizure that her health was in decline. We prepared for it, talked to our 3 year old about it and yet, we were still unprepared to come home to find Abby in the shape that she was in. We had been taking her to the vet, trying to seek answers. We had her on seizure medication but I knew her attacks were getting worse and the vet suspected that she had a tumor either in her brain or in her pancreas and with her deterioration, cancer was also suspected. She was 12 years old when we had to put her down. I’ve been trying to put on a brave face for our 3 year old. I’ve been trying to act normal around Saddie and yet we grieve, both of us. I’ve started to take her on walks in the afternoon and I’ve been sticking to the gym. My poor husband hasn’t said much more than a few words. I know he is processing through his own grief but I can’t get him to talk about it. It’s like we’ve lost a child, not a pet.
Grisha Says:
September 11th, 2013 at 12:12 pm Thank you all for sharing…
Shawn Says:
October 22nd, 2013 at 11:38 pm It’s been ten days since I lost my little Chok-di. I’ve had some good days and some bad days. Today was the worst day I’ve had since I brought her cremains home a week ago. I am beginning to think my family was cursed by a witch (not as crazy as it sounds I am an anthropologist). I miss her so much.
Fiona Says:
November 8th, 2013 at 6:16 amI got my little girl as a house warming present when I was 26, six months later I was diagnosed with a terminal cancerous tumor behind my eye. My little girl bailey spent the next 2 years of her life right next to me, through surgery and chemo and eventually remission. I never forgot taking her puppy years away nor the joy she brought me during those very scary times. Since then she moved with me, went through a couple of relationships with me and all was planned for her to be at the ceremony and reception of my wedding. In amongst all this my partner and I discovered we couldn’t have children naturally so went through the process of ivf. Before ivf we went on a holiday and the day before we left little bailey was coughing, like she was choking on something. I asked my mother to take her to get an X-ray whilst we were gone. I retuned to find out the xraynhad revealed a massive tumor in her chest, eating and drinking was really hard for her. We started ivf and just after the transfer we had to make the decision to let her go. It was the saddest moment of my life. We never got a baby through any of our ivf. She never made it to our wedding. It’s now 9 months since she’s gone and it’s really hit me how much of a loss she was. In amongst a wedding and ivf I never really got to mourn her properly. She was so many things to me for over 13 years, my heart still breaks but I am so lucky to have had just a love and closeness to something like I had with her. I don’t get snuggles at bedtime and my little girl lying in my arms like a little teddy bear but I also know many people will never have had an affinity with something like I had her. So never feeling guilty over the grief of a pet. It’s a well deserved emotion that really belongs to the amazing gift of a dog.
Nicole Says:
November 17th, 2013 at 11:18 pm I just lost my dog today. Sugar the Shihtzu, she was a therapy dog for children and seniors. She was so stubborn about staying in the yard and on a leash no matter what training I tried. So tonight I heard brakes and tires squeal and sugar screaming out in pain. She never stop screaming and crying untill the vet gave her the injection to put her to sleep. I was in a bad relationship when I got sugar and went through so much with her. It was like she helped me and gave me strength. My ex could treat my how he wanted but when he went for her I had to leave. She slept with me every night even shared my pillow. I never went anywhere without her. She even would go to the fancy hair salon for color extensions in her tail. I just am so lost but know it will get better it’s just nice to have somewhere to share my story
Drew Says:
November 21st, 2013 at 7:33 pm I just put my 13 year old mixed shep/lab Lucky boy down two days ago and I am just on a roller coaster of emotions. To look at him sitting down on his bed in the middle of everything you’d think he was 3 or 4. All ways happy, with a bit relaxed grin on his face softly bobbing his bead to the beat of his breathing. Never complained or cried for attention- just as long as he got a little of the focus here and there. He developed arthritis and degenerative myo in his rear and started to really show it about a year ago- trouble getting out of the truck to go play or the curling of a back paw when he stood in one place for a while. That’s what I’m grieving- the fact that- outside of his hips getting bad- there was nothing wrong with him. No deafness or loss of sight. He ate like a horse and loves going for walks on the beach. I read so many of you have had these horrifying cancers and diseases that you’ve had to endure with your dogs- I feel for you most sincerely- but mine was taken from me because of some stupid hip problem. I know he was in pain and this is just me being selfish but that he had to DIE really just destroys my heart. He did have a great life and NOBODY will greive me as much as I do him. It was merciful and humane to put him down but this really sucks. I’m going to honor his memory and wait for him to bring me my new friend. Love you, little pal- always
Pam Says:
November 22nd, 2013 at 1:53 pm I just read your comment and I just wanted you to know how sorry I am for your loss. I lost my 2 babies within 9 days of each other in June and it was devastating. Things have gotten a little better, but the deep sting of loss will always be there.
Just know that I will be praying for you and there are many of us who understand what you are going through, and you are not alone.
Sue Says:
December 12th, 2013 at 5:04 pm I lost my handsome, wonderful 18 month old German Shepherd,
Levi, to Lymphoma on 12/10/2013.. Two days ago. My heart is broken,
and I miss him constantly..I find myself thinking that I need to
get home to feed him and give him his medicine, or let him go
outside. I wake up and expect to see him..my house is so quiet
without him..I am devastated and I feel so sad..18 months old is
too young. He was such a handsome boy…
Connie Says:
January 7th, 2014 at 9:07 pm I have been devastated since the death of my 10 year out cocker spaniel, Joey. He would have been ten on January 5, 2014, but he died on December 6th, 2013. He died of an enlarged heart and complications from that. I only knew he had that illness the same day that he died. He was fine up until 12/6. He was shaking uncontrollably when my husband took him outside at 8:00 a.m. on 12/6, so I called the vet and took him right into his office. They said he had a high fever and after taking xrays they found that he had an enlarged heart and fluid on the lungs. This all happened so fast, as Joey was fine up until that morning. They gave him Lasix and antibiotics, and I was with him for 3 hours in the vets office. They said I could take him home as his temp was down, and he peed which was good as it meant the Lasix was working. They took a heart test to see if his heart was damaged, and said I would know those results the next Monday. I took my Joey home around 11:15 a.m. and he peed outside, then he ate and drank, but only 4 hours after leaving the vet with Joey, he started going in circles and turning his head to the right. My husband and I got in the car to take him back to the vet around 3:30 p.m. and while we were backing down our driveway with Joey in my arms, to go the vet, Joey lifted his head up high, like he could not breathe and I started to cry and tell him I loved him and he would be okay, but then his head fell down on my lap and he died. We just sat in the car and cried and cried. We drove to the vet and they said that a blood clot from his damaged heart must have gone to his brain. I haven’t stopped crying since this all happened. What made things worse is that my daughter’s beagle, Fred, died only one month before on Nov. 7, of kidney failure. My daughter and Fred have lived with us for 5 years. Fred and Joey were great pals. We are grieving over the loss of them both. Life is not normal in our house and won’t be for a long time. I keep reliving the day that my Joey died and feel so guilty, that maybe there was something that I could have done for him. What gets me, is that I had Joey in the vets office 3 weeks before he died for a general all over check up, as I wanted to be sure he did not have what Fred had, and the vet told me that Joey was in excellent health. SO, if he was in such excellent health, then why did he have an enlarged heart 3 weeks later? I am angry and so heartbroken that I don’t feel I can bare this loss. I miss him terribly. Joey was barely 10. Fred was almost 12. I feel that Joey should have lived a lot longer than 10 years. He was the sweetest, most lovable soul mate, and I will never, ever forget him. How does one get over such a loss? My life will never be the same.
Jack Says:
February 11th, 2014 at 9:28 amWe put our 11 year old beautiful American Bulldog down yesterday evening. She was a very special pooch and will leave a gaping hole in our family. I can’t believe how a family pet can make you love them with all your heart and they have never spoken a word their entire life. It’s only been a day and I’m crying like a child I’m 36 mind you. I will forever remember and love you Electra. R.I.P. Our beautiful girl.
Yuzo Yamada Says:
February 15th, 2014 at 7:06 pm My dog, Jay, was put down on Friday, February 14, 2014. He was my life, and I am in shambles right now. The pain is overwhelming, and I wish it would go away soon. He was the sweetest pitbull, and anyone who met him would have felt the same way. His life slipped away in my arms through euthanasia…he licked my face the entire time before he went. A good part of me left with him.RIP Jay, I hope I see you again.
Verysadmom Says:
February 27th, 2014 at 6:29 pm I haven’t loss my dog through death. I was forced to drive a long way and place my 9 month old puppy in a cage. I’m crying since y walked away. I took a picture of her. I’m broken, I want her backm but the person who force me to drive there gave his contact information, but I think I can still prov I’m her owner. Wish me luckm she is very attached to me.
cindy Says:
April 5th, 2014 at 7:20 pm I lost my best friend. I am so stuck. We were his 4th home . When I got him the vet thought he was 3-4. He had a brain tumor -he was 20. I have no one to really share this pain with. People wonder “why are you still crying” its been a week already”. I wake up and there are no brown eyes looking at me for his breakfast or the last few spoons of my cereal. He’s not by my shower door when I get out. He’s not watching me do laundry and his head isn’t on my lap when I watch TV or read I’m carring around his blanket. I am lost…………….
Barkley’s Girl Says:
May 16th, 2014 at 6:31 pm I’m in tears reading the stories of other pet parents. My Barkley went to wait for me at the Rainbow Bridge on August 26, 2013. I’m still broken up about losing him. He was my first pet and we were together for almost 14 years. I call him my “doggy Lama” because he taught me so many lessons about life, love, and loss. I too worry that maybe I didn’t do enough or maybe made the wrong decision to euthanize him. I have to remind myself that I love him and I loved him enough to be willing to let him go when his little body couldn’t contain the beautiful soul and loving heart he shared with me and my family every single day of our time together. I love you Barkley. Thank you for choosing me!
Sarah Riedel Says:
June 9th, 2014 at 11:11 amI just wanted to say thank you to the moderators of this site for providing a safe place for grieving pet owners to remember their beloved lost friend and help each other through the many stages of the grieving process. We lost our best friend Ernie this past January – he was 14 years old and he was like a human in a dog’s body. He was also the mascot of our glass gallery and a prominent public figure in town. His loss was felt keenly not just in our family but through the whole community.With most people too upset to attend, my partner Luke and I were chosen as the two to take Ernie to his final appointment. Always the kindest, he made sure Ernie was as comfortable and as unafraid as possible. To him it was just another ride in a car. He had me remove his collar before we entered the vet’s, and since Ernie had been so weak, he carried him into the office himself. I had intended on staying in the room, but once they started describing the process I broke down in tears and reluctantly left the room. I didn’t want Ernie to see me upset because I knew he would pick up on it – he was so sensitive like that. I sat outside for a few minutes and then saw the vet exit the room. He offered me a brief apology. I looked through the doors and saw Luke there lying on the floor with Ernie in his arms. It was absolutely the most heartbreaking single image I have ever seen in my life. I can still see it six months later. They had been best friends for life and it was right for them to go together. I still cry thinking about it.
Lisa Says:
June 12th, 2014 at 12:32 pm Hi, I just had to put my cat Lindsay down Last Friday 06/06/14. She was my best friend. I found her in my condo when we did the final walk through and my heart just melted and I knew her and I were going to be together forever. She was about 2 and a half years old at that time the vet said. She lived to be almost 15 years. She ended up getting hyper thyroid disease and in time the disease took over.RIP Lindsay
I know I will see you in heaven
Ann Says:
June 19th, 2014 at 8:26 pm Two weeks ago we put our beloved Brittany (Mia) of 12yrs to sleep. We noticed enlarged neck nodes on May 28 and saw the vet the 29. We were told she had lymphoma and had 1-4weeks without treatment. I prayed to god to heal her and I’d do anything for her. He gave me two memorable days of her feeling like she was 5 yrs old. Running and enjoying her friends. But on June 2 we new it was to be a day to say I love you and sleep well forever. .She was tired and fatigued and I had to give her back to heaven. I want to say that I was selfish and I wanted her well and with me. I cried more than I cried for my mom. I miss her terribly. I go to work and I’m better but when I com home I could cry for a while. I have her ashes and pictures but she put a hole in my heart and I don’t no how to heal it.
Justin Says:
June 28th, 2014 at 8:03 pm Thank you for this page. yesterday I had to put to rest my 8yr old great dane Brutus. I have lost both parents and yet losing my big boy seems to hurt a thousand times worse. I know I did the right thing by him yet I can help but feel like I betrayed his trust in me. I will always question if I could have helped him more. I have a hole in my heart 10 times the size he was. I am glad to know I am not over reacting with these emotions. Thank all who have shared for opening up your hearts to the rest of us
David R Says:
July 13th, 2014 at 2:32 pm I Am Still Here!!!Charlie was a dark chocolate lab/pit mix rescue we found in 1999 at MacArthur Park downtown Los Angeles, CA. He was a soul mate; we shared a wonderful life together. He has recently passed in May of 2014. He was having old age problems like all dogs do. Nevertheless, at times, his puppy energy came out. He had a growing tumor that the Doctor recommended we remove, so we did. Since the surgery, he started going downhill. I had scheduled the Vet to come to the house to evaluate his condition. I prepared myself that we might have to euthanize him during the visit. I spent the whole day with him; hugging, kissing, and feeding him all his favorite foods (pizza, cheese, pretzels, treats etc…). I had a dear friend that Charlie adored come hangout with us. Charlie was having so much fun and had so much energy that I started second-guessing myself – maybe he wasn’t as sick as I thought? All day I was having a hard time realizing this could be his last day.
The doorbell rang and my heart just dropped. The Doctor entered to examine Charlie. He recommended we put Charlie on steroids for a few weeks to see how he would progress- while we were discussing what medications to administer; Charlie got up from his bed, made his rounds throughout the house, came back, and then Collapsed. He had a stroke. I held him in my arms while the Doctor started the process. I told him I loved him and he would always be my puppy. I was there when he took his last breath and felt his soul leave once his heart stopped beating.
Charlie knew it would be too difficult for me to make the decision so he made it for me! I had taken care of him all his life and by me being there at his time of need made it easier for him to let go. I sometimes wonder if I didn’t agree to the surgery – if he would still be here? I will never know that answer but, I did what I thought was best for my buddy. Friends constantly say I should not blame myself.
It’s been six week since his passing and I have had quite a few visits in dreams from my beloved Charlie.
In one dream, I was awaked by Charlie as he was jumping on my bed wanting me to take him out as he always did early every morning. I woke up and for a moment felt like it was just another day having to get up to take him out- until I realized it was just a dream. Most recently, I had a dream that he was standing next to me looking strong and healthy, I was hugged, and kissing him- I could feel and smell him It felt so real. When I woke up, I finally felt at peace!
Noelle Says:
July 16th, 2014 at 6:20 pm So glad I found this site on google.My beloved chow mix, Charlotte, passed on Sunday, July 13, 2014. She was 15 and was with us for over 14 years. My husband and I adopted her from the spca the year after we married. I remember thinking what the heck did we just do when we opened my car door to let her in and then he opened his she ran out the other side. Luckily, she ran to the quarantine kennel where she was the previous 30 days. A few days later we found out she had heartworm. Already having developed an attachment to her, we spent the money that we didn’t have to get her the treatments. They worked. She was heartworm free. Over the puppy years she chewed up countless items including carpet when she felt ill. What an absolutely wonderful adult dog she became. So loving, so sweet, funny and well behaved. When we moved out of our apartment and into our house when she was almost 9, her favorite spot was the chair in the bay window. She loved to sit, propped on the pillows and look out at her world. in 2011, when she was 12, she injured her back end on the stairs. She couldn’t walk or put any weight on her back legs. We had her on medication for a few weeks and then glucosamine and chondroitin and were able to take her off the prescription meds. She was back to running and jumping. As she aged, she became stiff and creaky with arthritis but still loved to sit in her chair. Over the past few months she would pant a bit more going up and down the stairs but she trudged on. 2 weeks ago was the last time she jumped in her chair. Last week we noticed some blood on the floor and her treats but thought it was from her gums since we’ve seen that in the past from a hard chewie. Sunday morning we woke up and there was quite a bit of blood on the carpet. All day I was wiping up little pools of blood and she had 2 pungent urine accidents, the last having drops of blood in it. We took her to the emergency vet and her blood work showed elevated levels in her liver and kidneys and she had absolutely no ability to clot. The 2 xrays showed multiple tumors in her chest and abdomen and burst alveoli which was causing her to bleed out. We made the decision…
and now we’re left with a huge hole in our hearts. I’m absolutely devastated and heartbroken. I know for sure we did the right thing in helping her cross over peacefully but it still hurts like nothing I’ve ever felt before. I feel so empty… and a heaviness in my chest. I left work early Monday before I lost it, bawled walking inside since she wasn’t there to greet me. I sat in her chair, hugged her pillow and sobbed uncontrollably for over an hour until I was exhausted. I’ve cried everyday off and on all day and I feel like I’m on a roller coaster. The grief comes in waves and I’m letting myself feel it. I think I’m accepting it more each day. I don’t think I could get as low as I was Monday.
I hear noises in the house and think it’s her… panting or her foot scratching the floor. I see her everywhere… her favorite chair, the spot on the floor in the kitchen where we would have to step over her, the upstairs hall as I get ready for work. It’s so lonely without her.
We had her cremated (by herself) and she’ll be ready to come home in a couple weeks. I’m hoping just having her home and knowing where she is helps the healing.
Robin Says:
July 19th, 2014 at 4:16 pm Thank you for this. My Mattie, a 13-14 year old shih tzu rescue, was put to rest on July 16th. She was going through heart and liver failure. I had her for 11 years. She was my baby and dearest friend. I knew saying good bye would be difficult, but I had no idea how difficult. My husband, who was one of the first men she liked, has been super supportive, so I feel lucky. And I know he is feeling the loss as well.Understanding that the grief I am feeling is normal and expected is helpful. I am not crazy. Though I have had dogs all my life, Mattie was mine. I picked her and she picked me. Where ever I was, she was. With her passing, I am now in the bathroom alone. No longer do I have an audience when using the bathroom or showering. Very empty lonely feeling, the house is quiet. For a small dog, she had a huge presence. We have another younger dog, but our relationship is different. Mattie was my soul dog. I miss that face and those super soft paws.
Laura Says:
July 23rd, 2014 at 9:29 amI had a 14 year old Samoyed I just put down on July 18th. I adopted her in August of 2002 when she was 1 year old. I was a single 20 year old girl living alone in MD. Since then, I have married, had 2 kids, and moved to Florida. My girl Kayla has seen me through thick and thin and been with me every step of the way. She was diagnosed with diabetes in 2009 right before the birth of my first son. That did not deter me one bit. She was the best dog, was awesome with my boys!It had been 5 days now and am continuing to have emotional outbursts and guess I fooled myself thinking I would at least not do it in front of the children. Luckily they are still to young to understand why mom is crying but the article does explain a lot of how I am feeling and what I am going through. I have managed to bottle most of my feelings up pretty well, except when I’m alone…I know that is not good but that is the type person I am. I just hope it gets easier with time.
My vet came to my house to put Kayla down and I think being there and holding her as she took her last breath was a mistake. I am so glad I was there for her but that was my last vision of her and that is all that replays in my mind and that is what causes me to lose it….and am no good after that.
I’m sorry, I just never expected this to be so hard!!!
wendy Says:
July 24th, 2014 at 8:09 pm I just said good bye to the most wonderful pet ever, my baby boy Nicholas a 10 1/2 year old bichon. He was fine one day and then he was not. It all happened so suddenly. He was my best friend, confidant, walking buddy. The emotional pain is unbearable, the waves of tears and uncontrolable crying is almost too much to handle, i feel the grief is so intense it chokes me. I can not sleep. House feels so empty, quiet, somber without him. I love him so much it is hard to accept it. I love you Nicky! In my heart forever.
Dee Swisher Yousef Says:
August 1st, 2014 at 11:54 amI said until we meet again to my sweet angel girl Sofie on July 27th 2012. Sofie was a beautiful little Blenheim King Charles Cavalier. Her big soulful eyes watched my every move when we were together. If I thought she was asleep I would glance over and she would be looking at my soul with those eyes. We shared our meals ( she shared whatever mom had) and often I would cook her favorite chicken breast for her . She loved sweet potatoes and Busy Bones. I noticed a lump on one of her breasts in March 2014 and we went to see the vet. The news was devastating. Tests were completed and I was informed Sofie had a terminal cancer the tumor had spread to her lungs and heart. Our vet provided palliative care for pain and to ease her breathing. Sofie and I spent her last 2 months living with friends who several acres of fields, big trees and where I let Sofie run free. She chased squirrels , butterflies , we would lie together in the grass as she sniffed the breezes. When Sofie tired I would carry her in and lay her on her favorite blanket on my bed. Sofie was my constant companion for 10 years . I feel her presence everywhere, I hear her softly breathing at night and my heart aches when I realize she is no longer here with me. To say I loved her is an understatement because I adored my little girl. I kissed her little soft warm head as she lay on the cold steel of the vets exam table after he gave her the sedative. I told her to wait for me at the end of the Rainbow Bridge and not to be afraid because momma would soon be there beside her. I cry every time I think hear her now, I look for her next me and the aching emptiness is immeasurable.
Dee Swisher Yousef Says:
August 1st, 2014 at 11:56 amSofie passed away July 27th 2014 not 2012.
cathy Says:
August 8th, 2014 at 8:54 pm I am reaching out for support. I had to put my beloved canine soul mate Chester down on may 13 and I find myself in deep sorrow yet. I miss him terribly. I try to console myself that he was 15 and a Half years old and had a great life. I have lost other pets but this one has been particularly difficult. I know these events take time but this is so hard. I pray for comfort and am grateful for a safe forum to express my grief amongst those who truly understand. Bless all of you.
william Says:
August 14th, 2014 at 2:10 pm I have read your blog 3 times now. My heart is still crushed. At first i thought it was splintered…now i know it is flattened. I have tried to change direction and say things will be different and how they are.
There is a emptyness that is indescribable. Our life wasnt one of abundant joy but we shared each triumph and pitfall together. I keep torturing myself looking at pics online of rotty puppys looking for my buddys eyes but they are not there. Speaking of the things that were once is of no avail,only of the love we shared. I have had many losses in 11 years but the only comfort i had was to hold my friend and wet his neck with my tears. God fills my life with his blessings but my life on earth is one of emptyness…It has been since 29th of may and it is like yesterday…Please God give me the will to continue and send me a Love while holding on to buddy for eternity!
Rosemarie Says:
August 17th, 2014 at 4:30 amMy little toy poodle was the love of my life and I loved him more than life itself. He was it, my entire family members wrapped up into one. Who else is there now. I had my cockatiel, whom my dog bonded with, as well as myself, but she died of a broken heart recently, too. My distant friends don’t understand, so they are out of my life. Lonely period.
Andredean Says:
April 1st, 2015 at 11:17 ami just lost my dog named wakunana a few days ago(march 31 2015)
most of the people around me is belittling my lost, but i feel that i lost good part of my happinessthank you for your blog, i read it and it help me to some degree
Wakunana you will be remembered, we love you, we will miss you
abi Says:
April 19th, 2015 at 10:48 pm There are no support sites for my pet, but I considered her a girl’s best friend. She is a bunny. She was stolen at one of my book signings by a mother for her two daughters. I know this because she wrote me. long story short, I feel this is unjust even though she justified it to the police. Sometimes people surprise you.
Nancy Hunley Says:
April 20th, 2015 at 1:46 pm Thankfully I found this site, I thought I was crazy, all I do is cry and I am so sad! 10 days ago we had to put MY 3 year old dashound asleep as she broke her back and was partially paralyzed.
she was my baby, and I can not imagine my life without her, she was such a little lady and loved her family so much! My heart hurts and I wonder if any thing will be the same?
Brittany Says:
April 28th, 2015 at 1:43 pm I lost beautiful baby girl, Sophie, 4 days ago. She was 4 years old and my soul mate. She has been through so much with me and I am just completely devastated. I have never experienced grief like this before. The first day I found out, I passed out twice from panic attacks. Her death was so unexpected. I always told her that she would meet my babies one day, but now she never will.
On a Friday, after I got off of work, my life shattered into what felt like a million pieces. I drove up to my house with my window already rolled down, to have my husband waiting on me. He looked like something was wrong, and before I even opened up my door, I immediately asked what was going on. I will never ever forget this moment for the rest of my life. He looked at me with just pure sadness and said, “Sophie is gone.” Of course, I immediately got angry, thinking he had let her outside and she ran off.. but then he said those words I will never forget.. “Sophie died.” I was in shock, in disbelief and all I could do the next 20 minutes was say, “Oh my god.” Soon after, the realization set in, the panic attacks began, and the tears flowed. I got home that day from work around 5:30pm, and my husband got home around 3:00pm. He said when he walked in, he went did his normal things.. went to bathroom, etc.. Our other dog, Cecilia, was cowering down.. which meant she might have pooped on the carpet, or she did something wrong. My husband went to open the fridge and noticed that Sophie wasn’t following him around like usual. He called for her, she didn’t come. He walked into the living room, and my sweet Sophie was laying on the couch. He was thinking she was sleeping really hard, so he went over to love on her…. and she didn’t wake up. He was in complete shock. He won’t tell me anymore details, but he basically told me that her neck had been broken.. and she was bloody. It was very, very, very rare that Sophie and Cecilia ever got into fights, but it did happen.. and its a 5 lb dog vs. a 50 lb dog. We still are exactly sure what happened, but we do know for sure that it had to have been a fight. Sophie was a chihuahua… the breed is known to be somewhat aggressive.. which she never was, but every once in a while- seldomly, she would get a little aggressive. My husband has had Cecilia for 6 years,.. (We have been together for 3 years) ..and never once has Cecilia ever shown aggression either.. but like i said, it was rare, but it would happen.. So, I am completely heart broken that my baby girl is no longer with us and to be honest, I can’t look at Cecilia without thinking about Sophie.. which causes more grief. But I am trying to be positive about it, because regardless of anything, they are dogs by nature– and in nature, sometimes these things happen. Sophie and Cecilia were best friends.. they spent every waking hour together, literally.. I mean, I would feel horrible if I accidentally killed my best friend. We have been crying/sobbing for days.. and I think Cecilia is finally understanding what is going on. She has been looking for her.. and she has been walking around the house whimpering. I feel so bad for her & I do love her very much.. This was just a freak accident… but I want my dog back. I want my best friend back. I want to come home to sweet jellybean. I want her to cuddle up next to me behind my knee, or in front of me when I am sleeping. I want one more day, one more hour, more second… just anything to hold her just one more time. On top of all this, I am in college.. and guess what, that happened on Friday and today is Tuesday.. and I had a final exam yesterday and today… so on top of mourning for my precious baby, I had to study for finals. This week, hands down, has been the worst few days of my entire life.. oh & right now, I am at work… after having my final early this morning. I am mentally and physically exhausted….. I miss my baby.
Liz Says:
May 10th, 2015 at 10:01 amMy Sonny died today and I haven’t stopped crying. I keep thinking I can hear him in the house but he is not here. No one to greet me at the front door, no one begging for scraps at the table. I’ll never recover from this. He was my world goodbye sonny. I will miss you
Jerry Says:
May 14th, 2015 at 4:03 pm Just lost my boxer, he was almost 7, it’s been a month and it still hurts so much
Rosemarie Says:
May 17th, 2015 at 3:41 amIt’s been since April 12, 2015 and July 14, 2014 since my beloved toy poodle Koko and three months after, my cockatiel Gigi, passed away. I feel sad especially when attending the West Medford Open Studios, as I remember having him with me. It is so painful. I loved them both as being soul mates, the loves of my life and happy to be with me wherever we went. We went to so many places together, my partner indeed and shared so much. I loved Koko and Gigi so much. They were both strays found in shelters; adopted at different times.
Mr James Jackman Says:
May 19th, 2015 at 4:19 amI am still grieving for the loss of my be-loved soul-mate 11 years ago she was almost 14 when she died her name was freeway & she loved me for the 5 years I knew her, she was a rescued dog & a wonderful golden Labrador/retriever I had just moved into lodgings in Harrogate when I first met her in 2001, she died on October 15th 2005, she was owned by the family I moved in with when I was working in North Yorkshire, She was named after the dog in heart to heart a 1970’s soap opera, She was always happy when she was around me, so much so even that one night I woke up with her laying on top of me on my bed I instinctively had my arms wrapped around her, When I said freeway what are you doing on my bed, she looked at me as if to say well you called me, I must have been dreaming of her because it came true, she was a wonderful friend and companion in short she was special, No that she has been dead for 11 years a part of my heart feels like it’s empty, I hope to get a dog of my own in the end but she will never be able to be replaced she was simply put unique, She was the right dog at the right place & time in my life.
Barb J Says:
May 21st, 2015 at 1:32 amI am reaching out for support. My best friend Max,a white and champagne shitshu past away today,he was 11 years old. He had cushing’s Diesease and then developed diebeties . It took just three months ,i did everything i could for him.Testing panel, diebetic curve, vetoryl, insulin, none of it worked. He would have seizers and drank and ate as though he was starving. he was incontinent all the time ,i kept him in a diaper wrap,it became too much for he would leak like a facet. My vet said, his quality of life was painful to see.I couldn’t watch him suffer any longer.I feel guilty for putting him down,but i know it was for his best.I’ve never been alone without a precious dog, as I’m elderly and a widow it is going to be very lonesome alone.The stories i have read just breaks my heart,our dogs are like one of our children.I know i must grief and heal before i think of getting a new pet.Now i look at all the pictures and remember so many good time…i love you Max!!
Jessie Says:
May 25th, 2015 at 6:11 pm I had my wonderful little dog euthanased a week ago due to a terminal condition. Still working through numbness, sadness, disinterest in most daily tasks.. Nights are worst. He was always with me, 24/7. Slept on my bed at night. I hate waking up in the mornings when the first thing that hits me is that he is gone. My heartfelt sympathy to everyone out there going through this agony. xx
Ryan Says:
May 31st, 2015 at 6:46 pm Lost my 11 yr old pit bull 2 days ago… She had a massive heart stroke and my wife saw it called me at work and I rushed home 15 minutes later when I get home belle looked me dead in my eyes and I picked her up and she died in my arms… It’s hard bc she was such a loyal companion to me… She will me missed
Terrence Says:
June 29th, 2015 at 6:14 pm I’ve just finished reading this article searching for some peace. Yesterday while on a short hike with my 85 pound 2 year old American bulldog. He suddenly collapsed. A hike we have done 100 times. Unfortunately it was too hot and too humid. I was carrying. My 7 year old daughter up the hill and no strength left to carry Bentley to safety which was just under 1/4 mile away. We poured our water on him but instead of picking up and carrying him to shade I ran home to get my truck. An unforgivable mistake that cost Bentley his life. Although I did what I thought was best. I was wrong and my friend, companion , a piece of my family is now gone. I can’t stop thinking about why I didn’t leave him at home. But he loved hiking. It was his favorite thing to do. It’s been just over a day and I can’t stop thinking about him. The best thing next to my wife and kids to come home to. I know I will always blame myself for this horrific accident. But after reading these stories I now am confident that I can get through this. I love and miss my dog more than any words can explain. Thank you for letting me share my story. I hope that anyone who is blessed the way I was with such a beautiful loving companion will take better care and caution when excersizing in heat. Bentley had done that hike many times and in that heat. Yesterday he just couldn’t cool down and it proved fatal. So please do not take your dogs out when it gets above 90 degrees. Thank you again for letting me share and grief in this forum.
Gracie Says:
July 7th, 2015 at 2:50 pm I lost my girl shihtzu coco and I’m still hurting 3 years later I always feel guilty because we bought a dog to keep the other still alive one happy and he looks so much like her it’s hard and he is mean to the other one and now none of my dogs can play fetch and I feel like I can’t live without coco she died fAlling into are hot tub and she drowned we bareed her but that didn’t help my hole family isn’t mourning but I am still she was my only friend then as soon as I made new friends she died later now I don’t know how to deal with life it’s just keeps getting worse last year my preschool friend died and I haven’t seen him since preschool and we were best friends and my new dog keeps getting meaner and meaner I don’t know what to do
Sybil Says: When our dog died, the vet asked if we would like to keep her remains. My husband, son and I were devastated and didn’t want to remember her in an urn so I said, “No.” Later it occurred to me that if the urn were decorated with photos, it would be uplifting and we would have a loving tribute that recalled the happy times. I was designing mosaic art and determined to figure out how to do such urns. When I did, I got web site (www.personalized-urns.com) and have been pleased to help others who custom order urns from me (I also do vases). Each is unique. Most include the pet’s name. I have also included name tags and even stuffing from a couch destroyed by a dog.
Janet Says:
July 8th, 2015 at 2:52 pm I know this is dogs but I lost my precious baby boy Sammy (Cat) 4 wks ago and I am devastated and all I do is cry; at home, in the car, tears swell up in the store, I can’t sleep at all. I’m going through so many different stages, Anger, denial, Guilt etc. The guilt is because we (both Sammy and I) moved to an Apt. from a townhouse after my mother died from Alzheimer’s in which I cared for her 24/7 for 6 yrs completely 100% alone. Sammy mourned her for 6 mos. after her passing. He was a cat that was so kind and sweet and so exceptional I cannot even put into words. He was more dog than cat in so m any ways. He never adjusted to the move and I couldn’t understand why it was taking so long. I had him checked out by the vet and all blood work came back normal etc. The vet felt he was a tiny bit under weight but was probably due to stress and anxiety. After 4 wks in the Apt. even with the Cat pheromones plugged into the wall he started holding his urine for 2-3 days at a time. This went on for about 3 wks. He had no blockages and it was again determined to be anxiety. I took him to the vet night and day (his vet during the day and at times the ER vet during the midnight hrs.) They would tap his bladder or he would just go in their litter pan when we got there. I was getting very irritated and I remember yelling at him so hard twice that he hissed at me went into the bathroom and covered his face with his little paws. Within about a week he developed a small swelling on his forehead. I took him into the ER vet one night around 1AM and noticed one of his eyes was so slightly off and put him under to check if the eye could be pushed back into the orbit (it was so unnoticeable I couldn’t see what they were even talking about). The vet came back and said it was probably a tumor behind the eye and the swelling was biopsied and found to be Adenocarcinoma. I am still in shock even writing this, I was so upset with the vet I said I didn’t believe it and it had to be a mistake. Eventually I came around and believed it and within a few days I brought him to an Oncologist and he was started with Chemo. He only made it through 3 Tx’s which are a month a part and he passed in the Apt. 4 wks ago after it appeared he went into a coma. The guilt is I wonder if the move and my yelling at him those couple times caused the tumor or caused it to grow more rapidly. I cry all night long while trying(?) to sleep and wonder if he would still be with me if we did not move (which was imperative or we would have lost the house). My vet says the outcome would of probably of been the same no matter if we moved or didn’t, but when I look on the internet it says stress does not cause cancer but it in the mice experiements it show’s it could possibly grow faster and mestatisize. I am having a terrible problem with all of this and feel like I’m losing my mind going over everything constantly in my head. I know the tumor must of been slow growing before we moved but I’m praying I did not make him lose his life any faster by the move and getting him stressed when he was not urinating and I yelling at him and constantly taking him to the vet.
I lost my 15 year old toy poodle Nov 20. My husbands German shepherd killed her. My husband couldn’t get her off. I watched and heard her cries but I was helpless. I can’t go anywhere, I cry a lot. I’ve had lots of back surgeries and she never left me. I held her while she took her last breath. It was horrible. I hate his dog now and I want rid of her. Even my 4 yr old chihuahua is terrified of the GS and she’s so sad. I think she’s mourning too and that hurts me too. I don’t know how to get past this with the GS still here. My Tara died so violent and she was so so sweet and loving. I miss you Tara and I love you baby
Thank you for posting and sharing your story and every other other story! We just lost our happy, sweet, precious Shih Tzu Lillybear and I truly feel if I had only taken her to the vet sooner or watched her more closely she wouldn’t have eaten a toxic substance that blocked her intestinal tract, causing her death. 🙁
This is the worst I have ever felt as she was my morning, noon and night and everything in between. I hope my daughter and I will eventually be able to cope with losing her. She really was the most special dog ever that everyone loved. 🙁
Our 9 year old pit bull was put rest 7 weeks after being diagnosed with osteosarcoma.
He was my special needs baby afraid of everything but
fiercely protective .
I was his hospice nurse the whole time he was ill never missing dose of pain meds taking him out every few hours.
Sleeping on the floor with him the last three nights.
He was so stoic .
I see his big dark eyes watching every move I made during the final days
He is survived by his sister JuJu the alpha. We are both mourning his loss after 6 weeks
Another dog is out of the picture due to her aggression.
We miss him so much and knowing I will have to face this again is overwhelming.
Kaia was our beloved pitbull. We adopted her from our local shelter 12 years ago. Initially, she was so full of anxiety she ate our shoes, books, and even a couch. Over time her anxiety dissipated.
On November 28, 2016, we rushed her to the emergency vet at 11 pm due to multiple seizures. We made the difficult decision to eliminate her suffering. A couple of weeks earlier she was diagnosed with lyme disease. Although, she lost strength in her back legs, her loving, exited personality stayed strong. She even pulled herself around the yard to sunbathe on her last day with us. I would never have imagined that the pain of her loss would be so excruciating. There is such an enormous void in our home without her. There has been a constant stream of tears. The kids are small and don’t quite understand. I also worry about our other dog losing his companion. I wonder if we will ever “get over” her losing her. I am so appreciative of this post, as well as the other comments. It’s comforting to know my grief is not abnormal.
Grisha thank you your article brought a lot of relief to me. I lost my dog Rico Suave 11 months ago. I’ve been in a lot of grief since then. Pet loss and Monday night candle ceremony helps me a lot. it’s nice to know well I’m not crazy. I still cry a lot and call his name. I know I’m not crazy now thanks to you.
I lost my 5 year old baby girl on 8th. She was all heart. My soul mate. It all happened too fast and the lack of medical facilities in this part of the world didn’t help either. I have two more girls and i am trying to be brave for them. Act normal at office. But my husband and i are losing our minds. I do not believe in god or spirits or after life, but i wish i did just to find some solace. What is life without her. How is life worth living without my girl. I miss her too much. She died on my lap. We buried her at the cemetery. Yet every morning i wake up expecting her to lick me and look at me with her big brown eyes. I can smell her, feel her. She gave me my other great joy, her little daughter. I close my eyes and try to feel her through her baby but they are both so different. i realize i am being unfair to my younger babies. Losing my head one night at a time.
Our beloved Auggie went over the rainbow bridge Nov 16th 2016..We fought for him..but..it just wasnt enough..we have no closure..no answers..just that he’s not here with us anymore..he was our smiles in the morning..our kisses in the afternoon..and our snuggles at night..He was 1..and a part of our family structure…I know he isnt suffering anymore..he didnt want to eat..drink..no snacks..etc..and his organs began to fail..he was in a cold hospital for a week..and putting him down ripped my heart from my chest..I cry..all the time…not a day has passed that I havent thought of him..he was beautiful..his fluffy tail..his lil wiggly butt when he got excited..I miss him..terribly…ive read and read and tried to figure it out..and no one understands what we are dealing with…my depression is horrible..and im lost without him…I love you Auggie…momma loves you…
Them videos have just made me cry soooo beautiful wonderful tribute to 2 beautiful dogs x
I read this after losing our four month old kitten. Literally the sweetest kitten ever. Wasn’t weaned properly because his mom got live trapped two weeks before we managed to catch him. His heart failed after he was neutered and they tried to bring him but post-mortem X ray showed he had an enlarged heart. I’m devastated. I’d give about anything to have him here with me, suckling on my shirt sleeve. We have five other cats, and three dogs, and none of them are anything close to as people centric as the kitten was.
Yeah, I feel crazy because I am absolutely crushed by this, and feel guilty for taking him to be neutered. He woke up a thousand times last night snuggling and suckling on my sleeve, now I wonder if i should have known something was wrong.
I yelled at the very when he called notify me, “no, no, no, nooooo. You cannot tell me he is dead. ” Screamed cried wailed, because that is exactly how I felt. Only hours later now.
First I would like to say that I am sorry for the loss of your baby’s. I too am now trying to get through the pain of loosing my beloved Presley. He was a big part of my life .my heart is absolutely broken. Thank you for sharing your pain and joy for your pets. It helped me realize that others greave the loss of there pets as well. I know in time the pain will lessen. Thank you
I lost my dog kiera suddenly driving home from the vets . she was diagnosed with liver disease in November 2015 . she had high level liver enzymes which was being controlled with a drug called denamarin which was given daily .she was doing really well her appetite increased and she seemed more interested in life. She was having regular blood’s done and the denamarin was keeping the liver enzymes down.then in July of this year she started to go down hill again and she was on and off her food. Took her back to the vets again she lost a kilogram in weight and her liver was Enlarged. The vet gave her an anabolic steroid injection to try and pick her up a bit. With in ten minutes of leaving the vet she callasped and died in the back of the car so l rushed her back to the vet thinking she had just past out or something .when we got there the vet said her heart had just given out. She was 13 years and 10 months .l am finding her death hard to deal with as she was very special to me we went everywhere together and l loved her dearly she was my best friend. She passed away on 8 th September 2016 and I miss her so much.
Thank you so much for writing this. was beautiful to read. I will miss my dog forever and always.
I lost my chihuahua 5wks ago I live in the urban area of queen creek az I never would have thought a coyote got her so be careful when u walk ur dog out in the early morning maybe I should put signs up
I lost my chihuahua 5wks ago in queen creek az had her for eight yrs I think a coyote got her or she’s somewhere out there
My beautiful and loving Wheaten Terrier dog Cosmo passed away on Friday, November 4, 2016 at 14 + years. When he was 13 he developed cysts on his eyelids and the Vet said he was strong enough to have them removed. I agreed because they know better than I do. The operation was a success until a week later Cosmo started to dehydrate with vomit and diarrhea. We took him back to the Vet and they hospitalized him. Long story short, once he came home it happened again and was hospitalized. His head was twitching and he was losing control of his back legs. It also appeared as if he didn’t know where he was going on our daily walks. They didn’t know what was wrong with my Cosmo. I took him back to his original Vet who knew him since he was born. She immediately diagnosed him as have a brain tumor. The brain tumor could not be verified because that would involve anesthesia which she felt caused his dehydration from the operation. My Vet kept my Cosmo alive with prednisone and anti-seizure medication. My Vet saved Cosmo for 8 more months until I noticed he wasn’t breathing well, wheezing and sounded like he was struggling for air (Vet suspected Larpar), going blind, couldn’t hear me like he used to, couldn’t go up the stairs without stumbling, stumbling on our walks, walking in circles as if lost, and just laying around. He struggled to stand and to sit so he just crashed onto the floor to lay. He was restless at night and when the slight moaning started I brought him back to the Vet. On Friday, November 4, 2016 my Vet informed me that it was “Cosmo’s time” – I was shocked and stupid. I agreed to euthanization. I did not want my Cosmo to suffer anymore, but the experience was horrible. When I brought Cosmo into the room, he immediately panicked and started scratching at the door to get out. He was frantic and banged his head on the examining table. When the Vet tried giving him the needle to open his veins she somehow missed and Cosmo cried out in pain. Finally the injection was given and the Vet told me to walk him around outside in the sunshine and when he starts to lose his balance (which should be in 10 minutes) to bring him back in . Well it only took 3 minutes and he was collapsing and falling over. I rushed him back into the office almost dragging him. We laid him on the table and she injected him with the final medication and he was gone. I am heartbroken. I tried to give my dog some dignity in dying which he deserved only to be tortured with the horrible thought of how he left us….scared and panicked. He didn’t deserve it. He deserved a peaceful death. He was a wonderful and loving dog. I am haunted by his last minutes and pray everyday since that he forgives me.
Last year my Toy Poodle ( Princess), who I had for 15 years was put down suddenly. She was not sick however, her Uterus collapsed. The Vet explained that because of her heart, she may pass during the surgery. This was the most painful decision I’ve ever made. I grieved her loss but was thankful I had another pet. My other pet (Pierre) was a 6 year old Yorkie Poodle. He helped me so much during that difficult time. All my attention turned to him and he became the love of my life. In January of 2016, Pierre was diagnosed with Diabetes. I had to administer insulin twice a day and feed him Prescription Diet Food. The Diabetes took a toll on him and on October 29, 2016, I had to put him down. I miss him so much and the grief I ‘m experiencing is unbearable.
My darling Dakota,
It’s been 6 months since you left me. Six months since I’ve held you. Six months since I caressed your velvet ears, heard your baying voice…smelled your secret smell. But like a bad joke I still wake up, thinking I hear your collar as you wake up and stretch, thinking I hear you sniffing under the bathroom door because you wouldn’t even leave me to go to the restroom or hear plastic grocery bags rustling, looking for your inevitable treat or toy. And then I realize I’m fully awake and still here. Alone. And then the savage grief as I try to cross this endless ocean of pain, pulls me under…and I let go, praying I will never surface again. But I do. And I go through another day without you physically, while inside, the real me is walking down the middle of a street, carrying your lifeless body, wailing to the sky, blood seeping from razor blade slashes, your name carved into my flesh, hair shorn, ashes rubbed in to the cuts. And people turn away. They don’t understand. They don’t understand you were so much more than just a “service dog” You were my baby, my child…because my worthless body could not have one. And as my illness progressed, you grew up and became, my Taz, my Porkchop puppy, my Puff-in-Stuffer…and then sadly as your own health problems surfaced…Old Ironside. But the illnesses only made us closer, didn’t it, my angel. I became your eyes and you became my soul mate, in the truest sense of the word, stoic and accepting. And we made our own world, you and I, where the ignorant and healthy could not come, except for one. And we were content. Then I began to sense a terrible sadness and tiredness in you. So, I took you to your vet, who had charted you to safety, again and again. But he could not save you. He said only I could this time. Oh my baby! What did you think when, rocking you in my arms that last night, I told you I would fix the pain? That mommy would make it better? That mommy would make the pain go bye-bye. Did you know it was a lie? That in order to make you better I had to kill you? I remember how you finally relaxed and lay so still with your head on my chest, your blind eyes nevertheless looking up straight in to mine. So much love and trusting innocence in them. People use the words “unconditional love” so unknowingly. And when the time came for the very last shot to be given, the one that would finally stop your precious heart, I stayed. You deserved that. Unconscious or not, you deserved to be held in the arms of the person you loved so much and with the same unconditional love you gave to me.
If I could, my darling, I would, like a song from the 60’s “write in the sky….with letters a thousand feet high…To Dakota, with love.” But since I can’t…I will write from the depths of my broken soul in a different sky. She lived. Her name was Dakota. She was my world. Her life mattered.
“There is also another song (regardless of what film the song was used in) where lyrics to part of the song articulate the deathless grief and pain when you lose someone you love very eloquently:
“Tell me when you hear my heart stop. You’re the only one who knows. Tell me when you hear the silence…There’s a possibility I wouldn’t know.”
Only. I already know, my beloved Beagle Baby. I already know.
I know this is an old post but it was so nice and helpful. I miss my dog so much. He was my first dog and he was so special to me. He’s been gone for a year and a half and it was so nice to read that grief doesn’t have a time table. Last night I dreamed of him and it was so nice to touch him again and I woke up so happy until reality set n.
I just would like to say that I visit this site regularly when I think of my dog Oscar who we lost March of this year. I read the post that I submitted on March 3rd 2016. I still grieve and miss our Dog and I feel for everyone who posts a loss of a pet on this site and I read the posts. I think of Oscar every day and will do so forever. I do understand and can relate to the pain one goes through losing a special furry friend. I know it helped me to post my story about Oscar and let people know they are not alone in this sadness and loss of a beloved Pet & friend.
I lost my childhood dog, a black lab, may 19th this year. She was my best friend and I still cry to this day over the loss of her. I was only 15 at the time and it was and still is the hardest thing I’ve gone through. I aspire to be a veterinarian and currently work at a vet hospital, I can’t help but want to cry when I see a black lab come in through those doors. There’s a little part of me that wishes it was you, but I know it’s impossible. My family thought after having to put my dog down it would make me not want to be a vet because of how upset I was. But instead it drove me more to wanting to be a vet. I want to be able to help animals like our vet helped my baby life the last few moments of her life with the ones she loved. I’ll never forget you baby girl. I love you so much ?
Read about your dog.. Can really relate to you.. Lost two dogs one to old age and one too early to cancer.. Have other dogs but still miss those two… People would say it was a dog or she was old ..getting older and my animals are extra special.. At the moment council says l can only have two so l now have to sell my house .. I live in a small country town.. People like to just cause trouble.. No one understands how these animals are so important to me.. How cruel people can be
I have lost two dogs in as many years. Both died of cancer. They’re Boxers and boxers have a high chance of getting cancer . i was and am still completely unpreparred to handle it. My family has two more boxers. I can barely hold my self together thinking about the first 2. Oscar and chacha. We named all our dogs after boxers since they are boxers, except chacha. Oscar passed away in August of 2015. My whole family household of 3 children, 2 young adult parents and grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins all loved him. He was the runt of the litter. We trained him with lots of commitment. Out of all our dogs he always seemed the best trained. But also because we loved him he also had the role as smart ass , wise one, and Oscar the Boxer, cuz it ryhmed. We took him to a dog training class after we had already trained him and he past with flying colors. Got the best score too. Not even sure why we took him to the class in the first place. I think my mom just wanted to show off. We moved from California to Arizona with Oscar in his own seat. Mostly cuz we spoiled him senseless and didn’t like him being in a carrier in the back of the car. Up until his last days he still always got his own seat. When we moved to Arizona we had several acres of land for him to play on. But he still always tried to jump the fence to run in the tall grass next door. He’d hop around so he could see and we called him a gazel for a while. I remember these things happening but for some reason, I can ‘t remember him as a young dog. I even remember him getting stuck between the wall and my bed when he was a puppy. But for some reason I can’t remember him as a puppy. We filled up to desposable cameras with nothing but pictures of Oscar. They got lost who knows how. Anyway, after Oscar had been with us for a year or two in Arizona, Chacha came along. I’m not even sure where she came from. I was watching saturday morning cartoons and she just popped up in front of me. Love at first sight. Grampa named her. Other boxer lovers might know of a super excited dance they do when you come home . We called it the bean dance, so grampa named her Chacha.
Everyone who came to visit us wanted to take her home. Even when she got old. She was our princess, and probably one of the biggest shocks to the family with her passing.
At some point it felt like things were perfect. Two more boxer puppies from the same litter would come along after Oscar and Chacha were fully grown. Cecar Chavez, and Muhammud Ali. Or Cesar and Ali for short. My grama saved them from Mexico. They had parvo and could have died. But they didn’t . Both fell right into the family like missing puzzle pieces we didn’t know we even missed. We also have a chihuahua named Reeses. He’s kind of an everything kind of dog. He likes to pick half assed fights with grampa and has soooooo much character in his little body. He fits right in.
Now, for some reason I can’t tell time lately. Litteraly, not a singe bit of awareness as to when stuff happened. For example, around the time Oscar passed, I thought he was ten. However, I got corrected by multiple family members that he was gonna be 14. Where the hell did that time go. Wasted. I guess. I knew boxers lived an average of 10 years, so when did I let so much time get away? No idea. Even now I feel like I didn’t spend enough time with Oscar. I left for college several hours away and while I made frequent visits, I got worried when Oscar started slowing down.. We had a routine welcome home we did when I came to visit. I’d thought I’d known what it was like to be sad or depressed. Nothing hit me harder than when Oscar stopped saying hi to me our usual way. Near the end I pretty much gave up on classes to stay at home. By this time he had lost so much weight. I made sure to always pet him, because some of my family looked reluctant to. His vertabrae could very plainly be seen through is skin. He was a skeleton. Honestly, I don’t know why it took so long to get him checked out. Everyone could plainly see that he was probably going to pass away soon. The dogs went to the vet before we saw doctors, always. But if anything I’m glad we did go. The moment the vet saw him she already knew. He had stomach cancer. And worse was we learned he was in pain. Me my brother and my mom were the only ones that felt brave enought to take him to the vet. I sunk to the floor and cryed as queitly as I could as there were thin walls. But it didn’t last long. I have never in my 23 years seen my brother cry. He was on the floor with me that day. Oscar took it upon himself to lick us both as much as he could. He’s not a big licker. But i’m not sure if it really meant something or not. Oscar got a pill that would elleviate his pain for at least another night so we could say good by. The next day he would be put down. We spoiled him as best we could. We spent the night with him in the living room. If he hadn’t been in pain I’d rather he’d done what dogs do. In the last week of his life he began to go outside at night and lie in a small patch of dirt in a clearing on the porch. He’d never done that before. I figured thats where he wanted to die. I wish I could have given him that privledge. Instead, we took him to get put down. He had a seizure in the car. I’d never seen a dog have a seizure before. I”ll never forget him trying to grasp for breath, his eyes almost popping out. This image haunts me aggresively. We had to carry him into the clinic because he couldn’t walk after the seizure. My mom, sister and I burst into horribly loud tears in the little room he was in. The people were qiuet, and let us have our last time with him paitienltly. My dad couldn’t say goodbye. My mom would tell me later that he tried not to cry for the longest time. Even she has seen him cry maybe once or twice. I am in all aspects, a daddies girl. But I held it in as hard as I could the urge to hug my dad, as much as I wanted to . No one stayed with him with he was put down. We couldn’t do it. And I deeply regret that decision. I think about it all the time. Each of our dogs has a person in the family they are bonded to the most. Chacha is my dads. Cecar is gramas. Reeses is kind of moms and my sisters. Ali is my brothers. Oscar, was mine. I consider him my absolute best friend. Today it will have been a year and two months since his death. I still cry my eyes out every so often. I think my fiance is finally getting fed up with it. He’s even saying things like somehow I think my grieve is more important than any greif he feels. His family’s dog sammy was murdured by another dog. She was a beagle. I absolutely do not think that is true. But I can’t stop. In september of this year 2016, Chacha , our female boxer, passed away from cancer. Unfortunately, her story is shorter. She was our princess we called her. More to the point she was dads princess. She litterally could dig a whole in the back yard, a huge one where my grampa tends to crops. “She didn’t do it” he’d say. He’d litteraly catch her doing something bad, and he let her get away with it. Now she didn’t do bad things often. In fact we considered her Chacha the responsible. She’d break up fights if she had to, and she did. She and Oscar were very close. After he passed she was very visibly depressed for a while. But then, she started to bounce back. Chacha had no signs of cancer like oscar did. She had these balls of muscle that would pop up. But they weren’t cancerous. In her last days, she lost the ability to walk. She could not move her legs. And dad, unfortunatley do to a misunderstanding he was dealing with a legal matter and was away. When he came back he spent the night by her side. She was having back to back seizures at some point during the night. She cried out in pain and dad couldn’t take it. He took her to be put down that very morning. I wasn’t there, and heard about it around 5pm. Then I had to call mom because she was also away with family. I had to tell her while she was working. I don’t really think I was the best choice to tell her. The second I hung up the phone, a thought came through my head. “We have two more boxers” .
I made videos for them both and posted them on youtube. I have some of Oscars ashes in a locket around my neck that I never take off. I also have his death certificate and plan to have his paw tattooed. I believe I’ll do the same with Chacha. I see Oscar all the time. I don’t think Chacha’s death has really hit me yet since I’m several hours away. Even now when I go visit I almost ask where Oscar is only to remember he’s in a box in the glass display case by the front door.
I don’t believe in religion.
Never have since childhood despite being made to go to catacism.
I can only hope they’re together in some place I have no idea.
If not, I am so damn happy that their pain is gone.
I know they lived good lives. Spoiled, happy lives.
They even slept in our beds and often took our pillows.
But they were still well behaved. But I still want to cry all the time. The people around me are starting to lose patients with me. But I’m nowhere near done breiving. Even my family has moved on.
I feel like my heart is broken, and it might stop at any time. I feel like a panic attack is always around the corner. I wasn’t ready to let them go, though I’m happy that they lived good lives and have no more pain. This is probably the longest comment on this page.
Or maybe its not.
I’d very much appreciate it if someone would read this. I don’t have to know though.
I tried a chat website about pet loss. No one answered . I actually don’t believe in therapy. but I figured I’m on my last leg here.
My dearest boy Tommy,
I love you. With all my heart and soul. I have loved and lost, and yet I have never experienced
this kind of love and now I am feeling the deepest loss I have ever felt. I thank you for that.
For coming into my life, for showing me what love truly is, for showing me how easy to forgive,
how easy not to hold grudges, for showing me to enjoy the simplest things life have to offer.
My baby boy. I have grown to love you more and more each day. How is that possible?
So much more, that I have started to grieve each day, that one day we will not be together.
Baby boy, I already miss waking up with you, of us greeting a new day with thoughts of fun
things to do together. Me doing yoga and you doing downward / upward dog moves.
We sharing breakfast before getting out. We driving to park and doing our hour-walk,
and you showing the squirrels who is the boss. Then off to the market we went or doing errants. Going home and I preparing lunch, while you playing with your toys/balls. Or just
hanging out , looking outside, feeling the breeze. Once in a while you stopping by the
kitchen hoping that I will have some surprises for you. ….Baby, your turn for the worst
is so suddenly, so unexpected. I have so many plans for us doing things, traveling…
Instead, I have been on roller coaster emotionally and you physically. So many trips
to ER, to vets almost everyday. Watching you trembling , no, shaking violentlly in the
waiting rooms just broken my heart. I have always thought that I would not be present
with you in your last moment on earth, because I know that it would kill me .
But I have changed my mind reading the outpouring of grieves from other loving fur babies parents.
Mommy will be with you. We will be at home. Mommy will hold you in her arms, close to her heart , Mommy will talk sweet nothing in your ears. Mommy will kiss your beautiful eyes.
I love you , my sweet boy. I have said that times and times again every single day,
so that you don’t forget it. You are forever in my heart. Please come visit me in my dreams,
so that I know you are okay, that you are having fun and making friends while waiting for me to join you. And when the day comes, when I take my last breath, I will have your
ashes with me. And then, we will be together again, my dearest, sweetest baby.
Our little boy Baxter was let go today. He got very sick a few weeks ago and went downhill very quickly. He was in a lot of pain, and we could not let him suffer, so we said good bye. We had him for 10 years. I/we loved him so very, very deeply. He was so very precious and innocent. He was a small Min Pin that loved us unconditionally, that was always at the door to greet us when we got home. He really loved and was close to my wife. He was a mama’s boy. The pain I feel is almost unbearable. I still can’t believe he is gone.
Good night sweet prince, and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest. I will always love you, and there is no amount of time that will remove you from my heart and mind. I love so you much little one.
I just lost my dog “Benji” (full name: Benjamin Brody Hall) on Tuesday, September 20, 2016 and the pain is unquenchable. He would have been 10 years old on November 16. He had very large tumors around his neck that hampered his breathing. In a last ditch effort we took him to be seen at a holistic clinic, unfortunately the vet could do nothing more than give a steroid shot to try to reduce the swelling around his throat and she gave us additional pills to use at home. On the ride home he was unable to calm down and catch his breath, not to mention it was hot outside. We had to quickly turn around to go back to the vet clinic. Benji had paniced in the car trying to breathe. I could just about see all the way down his throat it was opened so wide. He was barely breathing when we got back. She noticed his tongue was turning blue. I told the veterinanrian that we were ready to put him down. So she gave him a sedative to relax him further so we could get him on a stretcher and take him inside for the final injection, but I’m sure he was already on his way out. Once she gave the final shot he went quickly. Although I’ve lost pets in the past, pets that I had for longer and was extremely close to also, I don’t remember the grief being this intense. I have no desire to do anything. My husband says, ” Go talk to the neighbor, don’t just sit at home and be sad”, but there is no way that I can go and engage in mundane conversation. Even if the conversation starts out about my Benji people will turn the conversation to something else that they’re interested in. I miss him sooooo much. He was so loving and everyone was his friend. I pray to God I’ll see Benji (and all of my other babies) again one day. Thank you for this writing. It’s nice to know I’m not alone.
Our beautiful boy: Max left us on Friday 9th September 2016. I have never felt such painful grief in all my life (I’m 54yrs old). Max was an Inuit cross, 9yrs & 6 months old. He had been noticeably unwell for a few days and seemingly breathless, panting even at rest. We noticed he was heaving slightly when breathing which seemed unusual. Around 4am on Friday 9th he woke us up as if he was trying to say something, we petted him, reassured him and he settled down to sleep again. We arranged an urgent appointment with his veterinarian whom became concerned and kept him in, we were called back to the surgery a few hours later to be given the devastating news that he was having difficulties in his breathing and the chest X-ray showed several large tumours on his lungs and was diagnosed as terminal. The veterinarian advised us that his time was short and to stop him from suffering we were advised that there was nothing that could be done except allow him to pass peacefully. A moment before he died in our arms at 1:30pm that afternoon he lifted his head slightly to say he knew we were there, he placed his paw on my wife’s arm as if to say thank you and he slipped away. I cried all afternoon, there’s an empty bed, an empty bowl and a couple of broken hearts. I will miss my lovely boy every day, bless you Max for being my freind and companion and for giving me love unconditionally. If any one wants to see my pictorial memorial To the most loving companion I’ve ever known I put it on YouTube
https://youtu.be/bcWkwI4FsgE
I lost my beautiful boy Bear Last Friday the 2nd of Sep 2016. He was my best mate in the whole world and will be missed forever. I can’t stop thinking about him, everything seems so different without him, as I love him so much.
Bear was 18 months old when he and I first met, at a rescue shelter in North Melbourne called Lort Smith. Its was around Nov in 2003 and I was 20 years old. Bear was round 14 years when before he went to sleep for the last time.
Him and I shared 14 years of awesome times together and I’m so grateful to have had such a loving friend. He has been with me through everything, kids, marriage, mortgage, unemployed and partying, settling into “adult life”, moving house.
There is this emptiness without him. Everyone in the houses misses him and loved him, he was my boy but had this special thing of making everyone feel like they were his human. My wife hasn’t been able to handle his loss either as she was there when I first brought him home. We had an old housemate friend come round and visit him before the vet came around to also say goodbye. And my bro in law came past to say farewell as Bear really loved him aswell.
He died of old age, was so tough through all the years, he was a big boy around 37-40 kg mixed breed, rhodesain ridgeback, mastiff shepard, lab mix ( i think) and golden in colour.
On Tuesday he seemed a bit lethargic then in the evening and couldn’t get up and struggled to sit up. I spent the night with him and the vet came over the next day and had the “talk” with me and said we could have 24-48 hours with him. I took the week off work and set up in the spare room to sleep next to him and on his final night the we moved a mattress into the spare room and the whole family slept together with him for the last time.
He will missed dearly and was loved by all and will be our hearts forever. Looking forward to seeing you again my lovely when my time comes.
I
I had my Fuzzy put to sleep 3 days ago.
The pain is crippling. I cry for her over and over. I look for her everywhere.
She code me when I met her 10 years ago at the local humane society. I needed and she put her chin on my shoulder, sniffed in my ear and licked me. I new from that moment I needed her as much as she needed me. She slept beside me every night except when I fell asleep with her in my arms. She was big even for a great Dane but she was always my little girl. I’m so lost without her.
I lost my beautiful Tres this past Tuesday. Thank you for this site. He was only 7 years old. We lost our other dog Kola just last year and she was 16. Now I have no fur babies and I don’t know if I can muster up the courage to get another one. These dogs are so beautiful wonderful creatures and I can’t stand it sometimes. Maybe Tres went because he missed Kola, I don’t know. The vet said it was genetics. Tres was a Boston Terrier and he was diagnosed with prostate cancer in July. It must have quickly metastasized (sp?) and it got into his lungs and he was coughing like crazy. We brought him in on Tuesday to see what kind of pain medication we could give him. We could have taken him home. I sometimes wish maybe we should have but that would have been selfish for us and he’d be in pain, but if I could have just been able to give him his dream day… I wanted to take him to the beach yesterday because that’s when I had my day off, but it wasn’t meant to be. He was beautiful. Gentle, funny, quiet… he was a joy and there wasn’t a person who met him that fell in love with him. People have told me that I will be able to open my heart to a new love. ..but I know it’s too soon right now. He was definitely my soulmate.
We had to get our dog ‘rudey’ of over 16years put down yesterday 21/8/16, we are all heartbroken, can hardly eat or sleep, he watched us grow up as we watched him. I dont think it will ever be the same without him. He used to talk all the time, he was the most lovable animal iv known with a massive heart, he loved snuggling, he alwaes just wanted to be close. He loved rides in the car or landrover he would talk hes head off, but as he got older he couldnt even stand in a car anymore. We was all with him to say goodbye, but i wish i could see him again already. I will miss hes massive cuddles, hes smell, company, loyalty and the smile he put on my face. I no he had a good life but its hard to accept hes gone, he left a huge indent on our lifes. he was the love of my life
I found Maggie at a rescue at about 19 months of age Memorial Day weekend 2014. She was my best friend we held a bond that most couldn’t believe.She was loving loyal and a family protecter.Nov 2015 seizures appeared out of nowhere human medicine helped until March 10 2016 after 4 more seizures in a 16 hr time frame I ended her pain.Imagine a almost 58 yr old having this decision at a time when you expect a long lasting life with your fur baby child. Now it’s Aug 2016 and my heart still aches. If you read this please give your baby a extra hug and kiss,there is no better time than now.
I lost my dog four months ago and still can’t breathe at night sometimes thinking about it. I had my sweet boy for 14 years and nothing is taking the pain away. If anyone can tell me the feeling ends eventually, or it stops hurting as bad, please let me know
I never thought losing a pet would hurt this badly. I think I’m depressed. I was never depressed… I feel something inside me like empty. I feel like a floating bubble. I can’t really work, I don’t feel like it. I just want to sleep in hopes That I wake up feeling like myself again. I’d cut my foot off to bring my pet back to life. I’d give my home up if that help to bring her back to life. Ugh, I’ve never felt this badly in my entire life! I see myself acting crazy. I open the can of her ashes to take out a tiny pebble just to kiss it. If I had seen this behavior in someone else before the death of my dog I’d think they’re crazy but it’s me now and all it shows me is reality…my die baby is really gone forever. I miss you Pewee. “My mama’s ‘come on Pewee go get your leash so we can go for a walk my baby hurry up little fatso!”….those were my words to her while the vet injected her IV with the eternal sleeping liquid.. I made sure my voice was heard while she fell asleep. I miss my girl.
Have you seen this other article I wrote about my soulmate dog, Peanut? I think it might help you. http://grishastewart.com/peanut
I lost my beloved soulmate 12 years ago in 2006 and every year that goes by without her is painfull to me, I also lost 2 good friends to cancer last year and am still greaving their passing.
My soulmate was a golden labrador retreiever called Freeway she wasn’t my own dog per say because I co-owned her whilst I was living in lodgings in Harrogate from 2001-2005, Freeway was my whole-world as she showed me the meaning of true love she would have been almost 15 by now in dog years had she been a puppy though saddly she was old when I first knew her as she was 7 years old/68-69 inhuman years I only knew her for five years but in that time she was my guardian angel in disguise she kept me safe and walm and happy and contented with myself because I knew she loved me.
I still think about her even talk to myself about her but I feel that people who don’t know me think I am crazy about her and maybe I am but she was the whole reason why I love dogs as I never had a dog of my-own in my childhood years because of allergies and other reasons, And so freeway was my first experience of being loved and cared for by something other than my pearents although the word something doesn’t really give her justice as she was so special and totally loyal that we were inseparable and she wasn’t just a dog to me as she felt like my other part of my missing heart.
The day she died she came to me in a dream and it was as if she was right next to me saying don’t be upset about my leaving you the next day when I got the phone call from my friends who owned her I broke down in tears and that’s how I still feel to this day, I have border line depression and other pycallogical deamons and am trying reach out and get help for them.
Although I have been told that I qualify for an autism-service-dog so maybe some day when I find a place of my own and a job to go with it I might be able to feel that famillar walm embrace again and know that my dog loves me and know that this time she’s all myne to enjoy, I’ll probably get a puppy as then we will have longer to enjoy life with each other than I had with freeway as my only regret is that I only knew her for five short years instead of the 13 &1/4 she lived to become before she was put to sleep for the last-time.
I know from reading other peoples experience with greif that I am not alone but it still doesn’t change the fact I am suffering from reoccurring sad dreams and boughts of depression you see when I knew freeway she made even the worst day of my life feel better because I knew she was there to kiss away the tears and to tell me I still had a friend who cared for me as much as I cared for her.
Rest in peace my-darling girl until we meet again on that rainbow bridge to heaven.
We are seniors , our lovely Bichon died July the 11th last year , I just realized why I am feeling so sad, he was 13yrs did not die from age, it was a burst spleen, I never knew it was possible to love a dog so much I am 78 and we have had a few dogs over the years but Bosco was different, or maybe it is because we are older, we have him in the cemetery where we will eventually be, so we go and visit him.
I took a photos of his grave stone which we had a carved photo of his face on, when I printed the photo, there were two images of his face , no one can explain that.
I lost my sweet dog 2 days ago, Souki, 13 year old Poodle. She was so healthy, happy and just such a fun awesome dog to be around! Everyone loved her, even people who usually don’t like little dogs! She had such a great personality . I don’t know how to deal with this sudden loss, or how I will manage without her by my side! She was my sidekick and my favourite most loyal loving awesome buddy . I would have been completely ok with just having this one dog forever 🙁 I know it never happens this way… She had started getting sick 2 months ago . We managed to get her feeling a lot better with medication. She was almost back to normal and then suddenly started crashing… In just a few days, she became more sick then the first time. My vet said we could maybe bring her back to be a little better with medication but her condition had become worst than the last time according to blood tests. In just a few days she became so sick it was hard for her to stand! She had liver and gall bladder issues. My friend who walks her everyday at lunch break while we’re at work called me wednesday and Souki had been sick all over the house. There was blood in her vomit and she wouldn’t walk. So when I was faced with the option to try and ” fix” her one more time or let her go, I decided to think of her before me. I decided to spend one more night and one beautiful last day with her. My vet assured me that she was not well but not in pain so she let me take her home that night. So we had a beautiful last day together. We did her favourite things, relax, eat chicken ( she only had a few little bites probably just to please me but stilll ) she got lots of love from me, my friend who she lives, my boyfriend and we went for a last little walk at her favourite spot. She walked super slowly but looked so happy to be there. Then we drove to the vet’s with the windows down and I held her so she could have her face out the car window. She was too weak to hold herself but she seemed so happy to have her hair in the wind for one last time. I took beautiful pictures of this and I’m so happy I did. I held her and talked soft nice words to her and my boyfriend who she loved so much pet her and while the vet was giving her her last shot, she calmly passed in my arms. It was so hard. But I read something online before i made the decision to have her euthanised that say. It said something like , it’s better to do it 1 week early than 1 day late… I didn’t want her to suffer more and I preffered to give her one last nice day and a calm passing rather than having to do this in a crisis situation or worst, to find her dead when I come home from work knowing she was by herself when it happened!!! No, I loved her with all my heart and she deserved my respect and my acknowledgement of the reality we had to face. But thank you for this wonderful article. It helps. Thank you for the collage and get together ideas. And to everyone mourning the loss of your best buddy, I am with you and wish you BON COURAGE as we say here in French xoxo
what an amazing site. I lost my 6yo Lab, Brooke, the other morning when she darted out in front of a truck while we were on our way to play fetch. She was sweet, beautiful and loving. More importantly, she was the first dog my kids and wife ever had and she shaped their lives in such a wonderful way. The guilt I feel is overwhelming. While we can never replace Brooke, we have decided to rescue a lab or two in her honor.
To each of you, I’m sorry for your loss and wish you all the best in your healing.
Our Pom Foxy was placed to rest on March 8th. Reading the grief others are experiencing has lead me to believe I am not alone. I miss my little girl so very much. I cry almost daily, if I could have one more day. Putting baby to rest was the hardest. I want her back and I know it is impossible. I love her so very much, I could always depend on Foxy to make me smile and to give me that “your special feeling”. I was difficult seeing her become so ill, she died of kidney failure despite our efforts of treatment. She was a trooper, getting the SQ fluids nightly and taking all the other medications, including low protein diet. Foxy finally became just too weak and her expressions told me that it was time to let her go. I pray to be reunited with her ome day as we cross the rainbow bridge together.
I lost my beloved dog Merry on the 10th of June. He was suffering from a multiple of health problems. He was on pain killers and gone of his food but still enjoyed his walks. He was 12 yrs and 10 months old Springer Spaniel. I have not stopped crying since the 6th of June as that was the day I rang the vet to have him euthanasied. Is it normal to cry every day . It has been 18 days today. I am devastated and feel totally out of control.
Rah
I just had my 5 year old lab, Molly, put down 2 days ago. :'( I miss her most in the morning and evening. She had a massive tumor in her abdomen. She wasn’t in any pain yet but had started having issues with incontenance the last couple of weeks, along with other symptoms. We decided that since the tumor seemed to be growing rapidly we would let her go while she was still happy. She gave me the best gift the morning I took her to the vet for the last time. Usually she would want out to pee first thing in the a.m., then right back in. That morning she wanted to lay out on the porch. And because she always wanted to be with me, she wanted me to come out with her. I sat on the porch and we loved on each other, just us, for 2 hours before she wanted to come back inside. That time was so precious to me. She was the most loyal, loving dog I have ever had!! She watched out for me and knew when I needed her by me. I could trust her just like she could trust me to always look out for her. I find myself crying over the littlest things. My husband has been very supportive and knows that I miss her in a different way than he does. I brought her home from the vet to bury her. We live on acreage with lots of trees and my husband dug her grave in a nice shady spot I can see from the front porch. It gives me some comfort knowing she is there. One thing that keeps popping into my head is the fact that it is IMPOSSIBLE to bring her back. The finality of it is what is bothering me the most. What makes it so hard for me. I keep expecting her to walk out of the bedroom to check on me. Or to see her when I walk into another room. My husband says the same thing. She was our only dog and I am looking forward to getting another. They really do make our lives full. I thank you, Grisha, for writing this. It has helped me. I also enjoyed your videos of Peanut and Spoon. I think I will make one for Molly. I have 5 grandchildren and I know they would like that too.
Today marks a month that my dearest Roxie took her final breath at exactly 9.40am South African time so I am typing this with tears in my eyes and a broken heart… I will always feel like I could have done more for her because all she gave me was unending love and loyalty…if I could turn back the clock I would do things so differently not to keep her but make her journey out of the living world “better”. I can never replace her because she was my once in a lifetime immensely special dog. RIP my dearest sweetest Roxie, I will love you forever and always.
P.S to all fellow animal lovers, I am so sorry for your loss
This is an extremely helpful article. I have been going through some of these stages as I’ll call them for the past week. On Saturday the11 I found out my Golden boy Max had lymphoma. Lymphoma in dogs is treatable but they will eventually die from it. He already had immune-mediated Theombocytopenia so his chances for doing well were slim. On Tuesday I finally told him he could die when he was ready and early Wednesday morning, the day before his sixth birthday, he did. I have had such anxiety since then and have been panicking as well. I keep looking for him and I miss his barking when I come through the door. It’s hard but over time it does get a little easier. I still cry and will continue to do so, I’m finally sleeping a little bit better but not much and can’t eat. I am glad to know that these are common signs of grief because I was starting to tell myself that I was crazy and to get over it because that’s what people were telling me. Now I know that I can grieve him as long as I need to and that it doesn’t make me weird, it makes me human. So thank you for that. I really appreciate it.
I broke Mommy’s heart today
I had to, you see, so I could take
A piece of Mommy with me.
I saw Mommy cradle my broken body
Weeping with inconsolable grief
Tears of profound sorrow
Landing softly on my muzzle.
Mommy buried her face in my fur
Mumbling endearments and apologies
She strove so very hard to save me
Still she lost me far too soon.
I rest my paw on Mommy’s hand
Tried to tell her I am hale and hearty
She could neither hear nor feel me
I have crossed the threshold; she cannot come.
Mommy and I are soul mates
One isn’t complete without the other
Though we are physically apart
Our hearts beat as one continually.
My forever Mommy
I beseech you to be patient
At Heaven’s gates I am indeed
Waiting in anticipation.
Mommy loves me so very much
We are two peas in a pod
Other dogs have dolls and chew toys
Here I hold a broken piece of Mommy’s heart.
– Hallelujah (2005 – 15 Jun 2016)
WE had to put our Mikki girl to sleep yesterday and I can’t describe the grief, pain loss I feel I see and smell and feel her everywhere I turn. She was 12 and a love of my life. I knew it was coming and I thought I could deal with it. As a Vietnam war vet I had seen much loss but not like this. I would have gladly done 10 more tours if I could just keep her a little longer. I almost wish I could have been put to sleep with her, but that is not fair to my family . Thanks for letting me ramble. God I miss you Mikki.
My dear Abby was born 5/24/2003. I picked her up from a dog breeder about 8 weeks after she was born. She was a beautiful black ball but over the years turned into the beautiful tan and black Yorkshire Terrier that she was. She had a healthy life. She had this awesome spirit and personality about her that I loved. My family always said we both are just alike. Our similarities included being the Queen of the house, spoiled, sweet, love able, and some what demanding, … We loved our cozy nights together watching Netflix . She would always nestle underneat the cover curled perfectly to the contour of my belly. My friend and companion assisted me through many of life’s difficult monments to include, the death of my favorite uncle, my divorce, a rebellious teen, associates, bachelors, bachelors masters and doctorate degree amongst many other things. My family new when they saw me they saw her. She developed her first physical illness around 2013 at the age of 10 with a low PLT count. Somehow she made it through that. She had several blood transfusions and steroids which got her back to feeling better. She was then diagnosed with renal disease in late 2015. We gave her SQ fluids at home . Her final illness was devastating. Her appetite over the last 3 months became finicky and she would lose weight and bounce back a few times. On May 23, 2016 she had stopped eating for 2 days so I took her to this vet for a 2nd opinion to check her renal failure. Her values were CR 3.0 and BUN 59 bad but not terrible bad. It also showed a low PLT count of 41. I wanted the vet to repeat the PLT count t but he said it could have been from the actual stick. He told me to take her home and just give her more fluids. Well me knowing her past history of low PLT count I took her to her regular vet of 13 years and he decided to keep her draw more labs and do more fluids. Ok great, my sister checked on her the next morning she was fine and walking without problem. This was a Wednesday and my sister knew the vet was closing at 12:15 that day and she doubled check with the vet that someone would monitor her over the night. Well, that was not the case. The next morning my poor baby had fuids all through her body she was so heavy. My sister called me in a panic. My Abby couldn’t even walk. I immediately left work and rushed to the vet. His staff said that they did not run fluids all night but he told me they had. 2 conflicting stories. I cried my eyes out and felt so guilty. He then told me after more labs that her white blood count was elevated, her blood level including PLT were extremely low. He then made a referral to Auburn Veternary of medicine. I enjoyed the entire ride with her in my lap holding her in her favorite blanket. My sister got us there safely. I cried on and off the entire drive. She was so weak. I’m a FNP so I immediately recognized the emergent signs of anemia . When we arrived at Auburn University Veterniary of Medicine the staff was empathic, kind and very knowledgable. They immediate did labs and started a blood transfusion. After further assessment and history taking we also realized that Abby was showing signs of possible brain tumor… In which I told her vet that months ago – all over looked. After her 1st blood transfusion she pepped up a bit a was able to give me the kisses I’ve received so many yikes before. It was watch and wait from then on. She was very cozy, warm, round the clock care… I mean I couldn’t ask for a better group of healthcare professionals/Doctors to take care of my baby. Her condition worsened despite all the wonderful care provided. She began to have seizures. At 1:38am 5/28/16 the Dr. Called to inform me that Abby had taken her last breath surround by staff. I can remember the devastation and the cracking in my voice as I heard the Doctors words. I was in a hotel nearby and (my daughter had arrived early that day ) we picked Abby up in a box and took her back to our hometown. I assisted with her funeral arrangements. I dressed her, I combed her hair, my dtr placed her how in (as she did for many years-she did it better than anyone ), we placed pictures of us in her little casket along with her favorite toy (monkey Dixon) and her favorite blanket. I still have guilt feelings about leaving her with the vet that’s the hardest thing. I love and miss her sooo much. She was my life. I lived for her. I hurried home for her. I scared to live without her but I know I must. It’s hard . But I know I will see her again., until we meet again baby girl on the other side !?????
Thank you for posting this. My soulmate dog and son Iverson an 11 and a half years old German Shepherd husky mix who looked just like a black wolf passed two days ago. I am absolutely devastated, he was by my side since I adopted him as a three month old puppy. A woman was at a Wendy’s drive through on the Hopi reservation here and a gentleman had two puppies and wanted to trade them for a bottle of wine, so that’s how he was saved and I was able to adopt him. The day before he died he was in perfect health, running around with his two little sisters, but that night he couldn’t get up to go outside. I helped him up and he seemed very out of it so we thought he had a tummy ache. I laid him down on a softball blanket and was very worried about him and told him how much he meant to me because I was scared, but thought he would be ok. The next morning he was standing up and seemed very sluggish, we’re went outside and he fell over in the dirt and couldn’t get up, and he looked at me like he was so tired. I carried him inside and we carried him to the car and rushed to the pet hospital.
When we got there they determined he had a very large tumor that had burst and he had been bleeding internally, so we decided to have surgery to remove the mass. We were able to see him before the surgery was going to start and I kissed him and told him how much we loved him. They said that the surgery would start in about an hour and take a few hours so we went home to feed our other two dogs.
Shortly after we received a call from the hospital and Iverson had gone into cardiac arrest but cpr was not working. As they we’re telling us how sorry they were, we heard someone else yell that he had a pulse. I was so relieved but then we heard he was in cardiac arrest again and wasn’t responding for even longer, and he was deemed dead. Absolutely destroyed we started driving in to see him.
But on our way they called and miraculously after they had unplugged him and thought he had passed, he came back. I was so happy but we knew he came back so he could say goodbye to us before he went.
We were able to hold him and kiss him and tell him how much we would always love him while he was put down. I stared into his eyes crying but smiling so he knew how thankful I was for him and how much love we had. He had saved my life many years before and I would forever be thankful that he saved me.
The last two days we have been just absolutely destroyed and I can’t stop feeling so much pain and can’t stop sobbing because I miss him so much. We used to lay in the grass for hours together watching the clouds and listening to the sound of the wind in the trees and I knew our souls would be together forever. I just miss him so much and I can’t imagine life without him.
We have been watching videos of him as a puppy up to his older years and it just seems unreal. I know I’ll never be the same without him but know he’ll always be with us in spirit, and I am glad to hear what I’m going through is normal.
I’ll always love you Iverson my sweet boy we’ll never ever forget you and all the happiness and love we shared. RIP Iverson 5/28/16 I miss you so much!
We lost our dog Max yesterday (17 May 2016). He was old and not well so we took him to the vets to be put to sleep. I know that it was the right time and thing to do but I am hurting. The article was a great help and I also know that my grief will eventually pass. However, I am still distressed and overcome with profound sadness. I have had tremendous support on my Facebook page. I keep looking for him on his blanket but he is not there. He won’t be there ever again and I miss heaps already. Bye Max always loved and never forgotten.
Thanks for sharing – I do read the comments. And it does get easier. I just lost my soulmate dog, Peanut last week, so I have fresh pain myself. But from past dogs and everything I’ve heard, it does get easier. Here’s another article about Peanut that might help: http://grishastewart.com/peanut
I lost my best friend of 13 years on May 1st. He was a beautiful big West Highland Terrier called Myles, or Lord Myles as my cousins wife nicknamed him. He had been diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure in early 2015, with a prognosis of weeks to live. Myles and I drove across Canada in September of last year and he continued to be just Myles. A scamp, stubborn and my best friend. We had travelled to South Carolina, Nova Scotia and all over Ontario. He had led a colourful and wonderful full life. I am trying to get to grips with this giant hole that is in me and mourning the loss of a companion, friend and someone who was always there for me. I know that time will move on, but I feel that the spirit of my departed buddy will always be with me.
I’m sorry for your loss . I don’t know if you still read these comments as its been years but I have a question . . . Does it get easier ?
I lost my baby boy , a chihuahua mix named joe , just 24hrs ago . He was 7 years old , would have been 8 this Thursday on the 12th . I didn’t know I would feel such immense pain &&sorrow like this . He got sick about a month ago , he started acting different . He was distant , didn’t respond to my calls for him , stopped eating &&ibex and just sleepy all the time . I quickly brought him to the vet . That’s when they diagnosed him with immune mediated hemolytic anemia . . Which is a type of anemia where your immune system destroys your own blood cells . The doctor kept repeating to me how the prognosis is usually not good for dogs with that diagnosis but I held on to the hope that my baby boy would pull through . The doctor started him on some steroids , 2 1/2 tablets twice a day . Within the first couple of days he began to be more like himself . Barking &&running around the backyard , playing with the other dogs , with his sister . Eating perfectly fine . He went back to normal . &&for the next month he was completely the same dog I’ve known for the past 8years . Until about two days ago on Saturday evening . He didn’t want to eat anything &&Li couldn’t get him to take his medication . all he did was drink water . Later in the night he vomitted , a clear looking fluid , which I thought was water . There was no food , no color , no unusual odor . He had a follow up appt this coming Friday but since he was acting weird I was thinking of calling in on Monday to see if I can bring him in earlier . Then yesterday morning I had gotten up at 8am because I was going to buy my mom some flowers at the store for Mother’s Day , yes I lost him on Mother’s Day ): &&Amy uncle who lives with us told me he had let the dogs out to use the bathroom but joe wouldn’t come back inside anymore &&was just laying on the grass . I immediately rushed out to see him , bcoz I had remembered that I had heard somewhere that dogs like to go away &&Iike to be alone when they pass . I found him laying outside on the grass , still breathing , thankfully . I called out to him &&he barley lifted his head to look at me but didn’t make a move to even come close . I ran up to him &&touched his head lifting it up to look him in the eyes . What I saw will stay with me for the rest of my life , my baby boy wasn’t my baby boy anymore , I stared into unrecognisable eyes . He had a distant look &&his eyes were glazed over almost emitting a dark blue type of color . I knew in that moment that I was going to lose him . I ran to my sister &&woke her up to tell her that joe didn’t look good at all . So she got up &&we rushed him to the 24hr emergency pet hospital . We got there around 815am . They immediately took him to the back &&owe sat in an exam room waiting for the doctor . 5 minutes later the doctor came in to speak of the options we had , IV fluids , blood transfusions , ultra sounds , multiple tests . She told us that he was in critical condition &&we had to act fast . She told us that everything would add to a total of $3500-$4500 . At that point my sister &&Li didn’t care . They rung us up an estimate &&my sister &&Li were filling out paperwork for care credit to help us with expenses &&as we were doing that the nurse came running to us with a form . An advanced directive form . Asking me what joes advanced directives were . It was 850am . I told her he was a full code &&eyes to CPR . She then said to us that we need to go back to the exam room , he’s not doing good &&that the doctor would like to speak to us . I knew . I knew it . My sister &&i rushed back in &&within seconds the doctor came in &&told us that joe had crashed , they lost his heartbeat &&were performing CPR on him as we speak . She asked if we wanted to continue the CPR or if we wanted to stop . We had her continue , I wanted to give my baby boy every chance he could possibly get to stay with us . Their protocol at the hospital was 15 mins for CPR before they called it . She went back into the back to check on him . My brother came at that time . He was asleep when we rushed joe to the hospital but when we called him he came right away . 15 mins alter at 907am , the doctor reappeared &&shave us the news . That joe was gone . I already knew it . I knew it from the moment i looked into his eyes . I knew he wouldn’t make it through CPR . I knew it . But when nothing could have prepared me for those words that slipped out of the doctors mouth that morning . My sibling &&I lost it at that point . Tears streaming , uncontrollably . They Brought him in , my baby boy , so we could say our final goodbyes .
Yesterday was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do , it took all the strength in me &&my siblings to walk out of that hospital without joe .
Coming home was horrible . Keilah , joes sister ( actual biological twin sister ) , knew . She usually cries when we take joe out without her , but the moment we walked into the house without him , crying , keilah just layed down in her bed with her head down . I’m still trying to deal with my own grief &&I don’t know how long it will take me to start feeling ok again , but I’m so worried for keilah . For 8 years , since birth , they had been inseparable . We adopted them together . Wherever joe went keilah followed , wherever keilah was joe was there . Now I don’t know what to do now that she’s lost her best friend &&abt other . Sure we have another dog , an older dog , Ellie a corgi mix , but I know it’s not the same .
I miss him so so so much . I hope that wherever he is , that someone is loving him &&snaking him happy , at least until I can be with him again ):
I know I wrote a lot . But it feels good to have told his story . To have vented it out onto this page . Thank you for that .
RIP JOE 5.12.08 – 5.8.16
I lost my best buddy Max yesterday, 5/2/16. I’ll never forget that day. I love him so much. He was to weak to go to the vet, and if you carried him he would cry and be in pain. So we had the vet come to my grandparents house. She said she would check on him and see how he was doing. His knees were too weak and bad to walk. He had been laying in the same spot for 2 days and couldn’t get up to go the bathroom or eat or drink. We had to bring him water and food and hold it for him while he ate and drank. She checked his blood pressure was at 130 just laying down relaxing, above the normal rate. She said we were going to have to put him to sleep, he was suffering. I looked him in the eyes and kissed him over and over again telling him I loved him as his eyes started to shut… I’ve never cried so hard in my life. My best friend was being taken away from me and I didnt know what to do. I got down on my belly as his eyes were barely open. I layed with him and I kissed him and kissed him over and over. When he had passed, the vet brought a stretcher in and I had to put him on it and carry him outside to her car. That walk was so hard, it felt like I was just giving him away. I kissed and told him I’m gonna miss you so much buddy. I love you Max. I don’t want you to leave. I had to watch my dog be driven away from me and I cried so much. All I could say was.. farewell buddy. I feel so alone and I want him here. A part of me thinks that that lasy just murdered my dog, and that we could’ve done something to help him. But I don’t know, I just feel alone and I’m trapped in my mind.
I lost my dog Oscar 3 weeks ago and I’m absolutely lost without him..I had him for over 15 years…I feel alone…I cry and I cry…I knew it was coming but had no idea how unprepared my heart was for him passing…he died in my lap after all day feeling bad…I knew it was time and I thank God for my having the chance to say my goodbye even as hard as that day was…I miss my baby more than anything I’ve known…I miss and love you Oscar…I buried him in his casket I actually had in my car for months…I will think of you every day as I promised you…I know it will be very hard to love another pet any time soon!
I was contacted by another blogger to see if i would share her infographic on how volunteering at an animal shelter may help your grieving process. I decided to share it, but just know that it’s also a store selling mementos and such for grieving pet families. I’m not familiar with the store but the article looked useful.
Here’s the link: http://foreverinmyheartjewelry.com/blogs/news/116014147-lending-a-hand-gift-for-your-soul-infographic
Lost my mini dachshund Ruby 3 nights ago. I ran her over in the driveway, it was dark and I did not see her. She was with us 11 years. I am heatbroken, and incredibly sad, and feeling so guilty. My husband had let her out while I was gone and usally called me to let me know he let her out…he did not do that this time. I too keep seeing her in my minds eye and can’t stop thinking about her. It’s so hard!!! I loved that little girl. She gave me unconditional love all the time. I went to the local humane society and signed up to volunteer in her memory but my heart feels like it is getting ripped out of my chest. Sometimes I can hardly breath. To think I hurt the sweetest most loving little dog just crushes me. I feel like I so failed her…I need to remember I rescued her from being put down at a puppy mill…however that’s not helping me much right now?
Am trawling the web trying to find ways to feel better.
My beautiful Maia left me on 24.3.16. I feel heart broken and empty. nothing makes sense anymore. Maia was the most amazing girl. For almost 11 years she was my heart and soul, my reason to get up everyday and live. She was that to lots of people – a therapy pet for so many people. Cruelly taken by a nasty cancer – it was too fast for me to get my head around. A lump one night then exactly 6 weeks later she is in my arms taking her last breath.
I never thought she would leave such a tremendous gap in my life.
My heart is broken..
Roxie our 18 month old mini dachshund got out of the fenced yard yesterday, got hit by a car in front of our house, and died in my arms. She had no visible injuries,just trickling blood from her nose and mouth, but never moved or blinked again. She looks as perfect now as she was in life: soft, cuddly, with big eyes. I held her for hours, just couldn’t let her go. Didn’t sleep at all, just wanted to keep touching her and say It’s ok Roxie. But it’s not and never will be again.
My husband and I are devastated, we can’t work or eat or think of anything else. We buried her near our bedroom window in a wooden box we made, with her favorite toy and treats, and photos and a letter.
She was separated too early from her mom, and then was rescued. She was tiny, 2 lbs, but had a great appetite, loved her treats, and always wanted to be near us. I can’t believe this happened, we love her so so much. Thank you all for sharing, and understanding.
I lost my 4 months old beautiful puppy Prince to Parvo.It breaks my heart I did all I could.I’m unemployed with no money couldn’t take him to the vet.No one helped I’m literally destroyed by guilt and anger.I can’t go on so ha d can t sleep don’t know what to do
We were extremely lucky to have almost 2 amazing years with the most beautiful, gentle and affectionate little girl in the world. We adopted Lucy from SPCA as a 18month old kitten who was just so full of life and she quickly made us her family. She would always greet us on entering a room with a nose to nose rub hello for each of us before deciding who she was going to sit on for the evening. From time to time she would stretch, look me in the eye and come in for a huge smooch. She would curl up on my pillow at night and sometimes wake me in the night with a face lick and nose smooch. Lucy would always be where we were, whether in the garden, office, lounge or bedroom – she would be there. She would even follow me outside to the clothesline when I hung out the clothes. Lucy didn’t have a nasty bone in her body. She never scratched or bit and was incredibly trusting of us both. She had a pure soul. Lucy loved being brushed and would leap onto her outside table and almost beg for a brush. During the brushing she would smooch your ears, nose and chin.
We woke up one morning and Lucy wasn’t to be found. She didn’t turn up all day and when we checked the neighbourhood, I found her broken body on the road. There wasn’t much left of our beautiful little girl but I knew it was her because I recognised her little ginger right front paw. My husband scraped her up and buried her in her favourite spot in the garden where she used to roll in the dirt next to our outdoor table and chairs when we had afternoon drinks, as part of our little family.
I type this with tears in my eyes, and a broken heart. The tears just won’t stop coming and I can visualise Lucy everywhere I go. At night I can’t help picturing her being hit with a vehicle and it goes over and over and over in my mind. This whole world is empty and pointless without her in it.
Lucy not quite 4 years old – a beautiful soul, gone too soon.
LUCY, I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SO VERY MUCH…..UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN.
i had to put my wee staffie put down to sleep on friiday afternoon 8th april 2016 2 days ago elsiebaby was 16 years old lung cancer i just cant get over lossing her she was my soul made love her so much im heart broken i dont no how im going to cope without her was never left on her own always with me when visiting people took her everywere in the car i collect her ashes in 10 day i feel as if my heart has been ripped out just finding it so hard its sore cant stop sobbing my heart out ill just have to take 1 day at a time love her alway s R.1.P my Baby xx
Its been 2 weeks since I put my little chihuahua Poncho to sleep . That was the hardest decision that I ever made. At first he belonged to my mom, but I would always be playing with him and paying attention to him the most. I guess he thought he belonged to me and I felt he belonged to me too. As he got older we both got attached to each other. I never had a dog of my own and that is why I’m taking this real hard. He started getting sick and he kept getting worse and the vet didn’t know what was wrong with him and neither did the other 3 vets that I took him to. So I had to put him to sleep. I felt so guilty because I felt like I let him down. I was the one that would take care of him and protect him and I couldn’t save him. I felt so bad when he would have to get his blood work and I could hear him crying in the next room. He was my little buddy who would be waiting for me at the front , wagging his little tail, so happy to see men and now I walk up to the door and he is not there anymore. I miss him so much and I would give anything if I could hold him again
I lost my Precious friend on Friday April 25 2016 at 7:40pm..my heart is broken..there is an empty lonliness i miss her..she was a dignified lady my Akita Chow…i have another dog…my Jindo who i also love ..but i still feel this lonley ache of pain ..he is greiving ..i greive for his loss of her ..he loved her so much ..and he kissed and licked her face every morning before we went to walk..they did everything together ..i can feel his sadness..he won’t eat he only sleeps now..i am sad and afraid for him.. they had 10 years beautiful together ..my grief is doubled ..i gave him to a friend so he could have company with the other dogs bc he Is so sad at my house without her he suddenly has anxiety and tears the house apart when i leave for work..right now i go to visit him ..and try not to cry in front of him …my head .heart and stomach hurt..i feel lost without them….i just want him to be better..i understand his sadness ..i keep crying ….it feels endless..i miss them
We had to put our precious dog Tyson 3 days ago. It’s been the hardest time of my life I never imagined it would be this hard. He was only four years old 5 months ago he developed a rare disease that makes your immune system attack your skin. We had to put him on high doses of pretizone to try and control but eventually the drugs were too much for him. My wife and daughter and myself are really struggling with this. For myself I see him everywhere I go especially in the house and the nearby park. I prayed so much for him to beat this but the Lord said no. I cry throughout the day not sure if I’ll ever get over this. He was a beautiful large black dog so fit and gentile. He seemed to smile all the time. Always happy to see me wagging his tail. How I loved him. I miss him so much. Second guessing myself should I have spent thousands more at the vet 5 to 7 thousand?
I went away for two years against my will.and had a family friend watching my dog..my life. the family friend assured me he would be well taken care and he would be returned to me when i was released. Day in and day out Danny (my life) was the only thing that kept me going and the only visual dredaydream I had of returning to society w as running to my dog who I believed was waiting for me as much As I was waiting for him. I got the news two months before my release that my Danny was hit by a car. I’m left feeling the most empty lost feeling of grief and sadness..please help
Thank you. Have lost four dogs over the years. This reminded me of how much love they brought.
March 3rd 2016 , We just lost our precious Oscar, a 2 and a Half year old shih Tzu who we
saved from an owner who did not want him at 8 months. We picked him up in March of 2014 and he fit into the family & instantly got along with our other 2 puppies:-) He was the most amazing dog and loved life. He grew on us quickly and we were so happy to find him.He had a loving personality and loved his food. treats and especially walk time. In July 2015 my partner Colleen noticed he wasn’t himself so we scheduled a vet appointment and took him in. He was squeaking for no apparent reason. The vet believed it was a intestinal infection, might of ingested something on a walk or in our back yard. He was prescribed antibiotics and we took him home. In late August 2015 he was squeaking again but more noticeable. We live in the Calgary area so we decided to take him to a 24hr Animal hospital. We left them there for 2 days observation so the Vets could see the symptoms themselves. An X ray, Urine sample, fecal sample & blood tests were done but nothing could be found? We took him home with more antibiotics & probiotics still thinking it was an intestinal problem. A month went by and one night in September he woke up yelping and moving around uncomfortable and this would last 3 -4 hours every other night. Back to the vet we went, more X rays were done and other tests but the vets were stumped? They did find some fusing in the vertebrae but not anything to cause the pain Oscar was displaying….we were sent home with some Pain killers while our vet sent the X Ray off the Specialist in Neurology. While this was happening we scheduled an appointment with another Vet clinic to get a second opinion. They also first believed it was intestinal so we were prescribed a antibiotic again because the pain killers were not working, he still had these yelping attacks at night. We were referred to a internal medicine doctor in Calgary who saw the dog and we actually brought him in when he was having an episode. An ultrasound was done as well as a MRI to find out if there was nerve damage of some kind. In Mid February 2016 we received the results of the MRI, by now Oscar was having a yelping episode almost every night. A spinal tap was done to see if he had an infection in the spinal core where they found inflammation. On February 29th, I received a call from the Vet Hospital telling me Oscar was diagnosed with Tethering cord syndrome:-( At this time he was on two pain killers, 1 steroid and 2 antibiotics to lessen his pain. There is no cure for this diagnoses so we were faced with what we had to do:-( We could no longer justify his quality of life would improve and on March 1st he had the worst episode of yelping which lasted 6 hrs. The sad thing was when he wasn’t yelping he acted normal and played with the dogs and went for walks but even on all the drugs prescribed he still had pain. Tethering cord syndrome apparently happens during birth where the nerves get tangled with the spine causing pain like you would get from a sciatica nerve attack. On march 1st 4:00 pm he made his last visit to the Vet Hospital where they said nothing more could be done. He was put to sleep that day with colleen holding him in her arms:-( It has only been 2 days and we are devastated for Oscar being only 2 and a half only enjoying a short life. There is a hole in our hearts and the house just isn’t the same with Oscar gone:-( I know we made the right decision but the grief & pain of the loss of such a young dog who was with us only 2 years is heartbreaking;-( I know in time we will be able to cope and understand that we did all we could to help him and we hope Oscar understands that we did what we could because we loved him so much:-( We are going to pick one of his best pictures and frame it, display it and light a candle for him in memory of the dog we grew to love and cherish while we had him in our lives. Our dogs Macy & Lady sense he is gone and notice that we are depressed so we try to make sure their routine stays as normal as possible ;-( I had a dream that night after we put him to sleep, he was standing in a green field about 5 feet away, he looked at me for a few seconds and then wagged his tail:-) Then ran off into the distance:-) I woke up crying and I hope that was a message telling me I am okay and I will see you on the other side when you come:-) Colleen, Kaylee ,Macy, Lady and I will miss you Oscar:-) I am glad I found this website to convey my feelings for a furry friend who has touched me in away only a dog could do:-) Thank you 🙂 Gary Johnson
Lost my boy 3 months ago….sitting on my steps crying; finally tossing out an old worn out bed of his….the saddness is overwhleming.
Thank you for writing this. Thank you for sharing the video. Thank you for telling me it is OK to feel how I feel.
I want the world to know Poppy was the BEST dog ever ….I promised him I would tell everyone….he mattered in this big world; he mattteres to me.
The love of our 4 legged kids….unconditional and forever.
Hello… I just lost my dog Toby last week (2/23/16)… I had to put him down because his quality of life is going downhill rapidly. I admit I was selfish a bit when I postponed the first appointment because I thought he was fine, but when I came back from Arizona (a mini vacation)… noticed he wasn’t doing well. I decided to put him down few days later on the day of my dad’s 14th anniversary of his death.
I am still grieving for his death, never realized how much I loved him. He’s been with me for 10 years (he was 15 when he died, I rescued him from the Humane Society when he was five years old- well, I think he rescued me instead). Damn, I’m making myself guilty of putting him down- why is that? I know he’s at peace, no more pain for him. He was an amazing dog, just amazing. He gave me a lot of love and moved around all over with me. I got used to walking him several times a day- he refused to go in the backyard at first- he eventually learned how to do his business in backyard sometimes- but he still prefer walking around the block and doing his business. Oh man, I miss him.
He was a quiet dog- does not bark much. I miss you and I love you, Toby!! Rest in Peace!
EJ
Today marks the 6th day without my precious little Isabella. She was my best friend. She never left my side. She was so funny and goofy. She always made me smile even when I didn’t want too. No matter how bad of a day I was having she could pick my spirits up. She was so good at that.
I didn’t get to say goodbye. After reading all these posts I’m not sure which is best. To be able to be with them as they leave this world or to just remember how they were.
My husband was grilling outside, Isa went outside. My husband didn’t notice she had come outside. I was taking a shower when my husband came in to tell me Isa had been hit by a car and died. All I could do is scream no, no , no and beg for it not to be true but it was true. Oh I hate that moment! If I’d just said, come on Isa I gotta take a shower I feel she would still be here.
I love you my baby. I miss you soooooo. I think I hear you in the house sometimes but it’s not you, it’s bubbles. (my son’s cat) I wake up and have to relieze you are not here anymore. My heart will never be the same without you. You were my soul pet. You will always be in my heart and your paw print will forever remain in my soul. RIP Isabella , you will never be forgotten.
Oh how I wish I could go back to that night!!!!!!!! I’m so sorry my precious baby that I didn’t keep you safe. I should of done better.
My beloved Pomeranian, Victor, was mauled by a German Shepard 02/15. I had Victor for less then 2 years, but we came to love him quickly . Victor was more of a rescue dog as the previous owner didn’t take good care of him I happily accepted him and took him in. While I was doing lawn-work Victor liked to sit outside on the lawn and take in the air and sunshine, he was very friendly, and I guess he felt that other dogs were as well – unfortunately we found out the hard way that not all dogs want to be friends. It has been 2 days and all me and my family can do is weep for our friend. The German Shepard snapped the back of Victor’s neck, and that is all I can think, that image of him being shaken violently by a dog that Victor just wanted to be friendly with. After the dog finally released Victor, he quickly came to me, yelping and walking weird, I figured it was because of the bite he sustained, but that is when I realized the other dog has gravely damaged his spine; I had my little friend in my arm when I heard him take his last breath. Sounds so silly, but I hope that my little friend understood that I was by his side. I am so angry- angry at myself for letting Victor outside with no leash and angry at so many things I could have done different. I miss my dog terribly! I wish him back.
Responding to Felicia – posted on Feb. 3rd 2016… I am able to relate to your grieving and deep sense of (anticipated)/ loss for your soulmate chihuahua, Nicole – you also mentioned that you have also lost most of your family – all the loss and anticipated becomes cumulative and at times feels overwhelming. The recent loss(es) open up channels of memory for reprocessing the others. The parent who criticized your grieving over Nicole was displacing(although not appropriate) her anguish out on someone innocent like yourself.
Thus making you feel more reluctant to express your feelings.
Please allow me to clarify the air – I am truly sorry to the parent reading of losing your child…it’s the worst nightmare and pain anyone can imagine. I know because I lost my only child 25 years ago; and visited his gravesite today. However, I do recognize Felicia’s deep pain & grieving for her soulmate dog, Nicole. My losses were in reverse order, first the devastating loss of my son, Andrew in 1991 – and then the recent loss of my soulmate dog, Bartley(the legendary beagle) on January 3rd 2016 to complications of renal failure and CHF. I tell people how out of the 6 dogs I have owned in a lifetime – Bartley’s loss affected me many times over compared to the loss of my other dogs. Bartley was 18 yrs. of age. I tell people, friends and remaining family(siblings) … and the response is quite typical – ” sorry to hear that…” and then they move on to another subject – or talk so much about their dog that Bartley gets taken out of the picture. Bartley has opened up a whole arena of grieving for me – parents, friends, fellow infantrymen lost in the jungle; and Andrew. I am doing it in such a way as to pay tribute to the lost loved ones and friends.
It’s not easy … often I find myself looking for Bartley. Felicia, you may find yourself going through a similar chain of grieving. My best to you and may there be eternal light.
Tom B
One of the best dogs in the world, a shepherd/golden/lab mix, used to live in my back yard. Now it is empty. He was put to rest 46 days ago after a six week battle with lymphoma, and there is no end in sight for the heartache. So brave, so loyal, so intelligent, and yet so cute. He had as many different facial expressions as a human. Goodbye, Jacobi. There can never be another like you.
What a beautiful tribute for a beautiful soul. Tomorrow we’ll say goodbye to our most thoughtful friend. Memphis. 9 1/2 year old Golden Retriever.
Thank you for this,
Karen
I’m so sorry to hear that. I can understand that she is probably not in her right mind, because of grieving, but there’s no reason to belittle your experience, or anyone else’s. It’s too bad that the pain you have in common was not seen as common ground. As the dogs would say, shake it off (the negative comment) and move on. Good luck to you.
I have lost nearly my entire family in the past few years. Now I am losing my little doggy girl, Nicole chihuahua. She is eleven and has congestive heart failure. I was told that chihuahuas live longer lives, averaging fifteen to sixteen years. My poor little girl is being cheated out of that longer life span because if this horrible disease. My grief is often unbearable, but I feel I must grieve alone because of how other people feel. I joined a grief site with groups for multiple losses, including a pet site. But after posting about my feelings over losing my girl, a woman who had lost her child made the remark to the effect that she had lost a child, not a “damn dog”! My dog is like my child! The fact that she took time out of grieving over her son to post a malicious comment intended to belittle my grief has discouraged me from expressing my self and just bottle it up. At least I feel free to say so here.
Stanley, my beloved little 5-year-old Maltese-Shih Tzu mix, got away from me Monday morning and was hit by a car. He rescued me a year and a half ago and had been the nicest, sweetest, most loving little guy. I’m devastated. I’ve done nothing but weep. He taught me so much about living joyfully in the moment, and loving generously and unconditionally. It breaks my heart to not have him with me anymore. I miss him terribly. I sleep with his favorite toy (it’s bigger than he was!) and his sweater. A piece of my heart passed with him and I just ache.
Thank you all for sharing, I hope we all find peace. I know I will be meeting up with my sweet little Stan at the Rainbow Bridge one day.
Hope this helps. This has managed to give me some comfort.
http://www.allisondubois.com/index.php/video-faqs/42-faq-pets
I I lost my 10 year old Chihuahua / Dachshund Kairi recently…she ran off. We were visiting a Family member.
When I went outside to get her to go home she was nowhere to be found. I looked for her for over a week. I dream of her. I hear her still. Home does not feel the same anymore. I miss her so very much. I cry most mornings. She was a Big part of our FAMILY. We took her every where with us. I can’t believe How much pain I’m in.
Sometimes I can’t function. I don’t know what to do. Please help ….I need to know I’m not alone. That other pet owners feel this pain too…
Your video is as valid and heart-warming as it was when it was posted. My dear sister and I both lost our soul-mate dogs Buddy & Bella within a month of our mother’s death. We grieved together. When my father died in 2012 my next lab died from anti-freeze poisoning within 3months. In May I lost my beloved sister and each loss has become more complicated. On my most positive days, I can only imagine them all together and happy now. I too made a video of Buddy’s life and it makes me smile and cry as did yours. I did not know this when my dogs passed but our local hospice has grief support for pet loss. Check online, hope this helps.
Lost my pixie December 24 2015. So sudden .We took a ride together to my daughters to spend Christmas eve with grandchildren and panted all the way there which was normal for her she was a very hyper one.When we got there she would not stop she did drink tried to calm her down
then she vomited and seem OK Had to go to my other daughter we all left she seemed to be ok not even a bark when we left which she always did she never wanted me out of her sight.
I told her i would be home soon and you will be fine and aid good bye.we got home with my family and could not find her then she was found under the bed and gone I feel so guilty not knowing that i maybe i should have realized some thing was wrong she was only 6/1/2 but as i have given it some thought she had not been herself for a couple of days hardly eating sleeping a a lot more and was spending more time under my bed and kept licking her feet which she never did.
Anyone who reads this please try to take more notice of your animal not being there usual self.
Pixie was comfort and joy to have with me every day she is truly missed today and always.
Our beloved golden retriever died from Nov. 22. He was 11 1/2. He was happy and doing pretty well until just a few days before. We took him to the vet because he suddenly lost his appetite a couple days prior and was excessively thirsty. Our worst fears were confirmed; a cancerous tumor on his heart, and his chest cavity filled with fluid. We decided to euthanize him that same day, the right thing to keep our boy from suffering, but oh how very painful for us. I have cried every day since. Our lovely friends and neighbors have been so kind, and I’ve been walking a friend’s young dog when she is at work. I think I’m doing the right things, to try to cope. But truly there is no support for HIM, the best dog I ever had. We’re empty nesters and our kids are now up and out. The house is so painfully quiet. Part of me wants another dog some day, and part of me thinks I never want to go through this agony again. I also feel guilty for getting mad at him for keeping me awake about a week before he died; there was a big windstorm and he was so afraid of the wind. He was in bed with me but wouldn’t stop shaking and trying to get on top of me. I left the bed finally and closed myself off in another bedroom to sleep. Now I can’t get over the guilt of doing that. I was exhausted. But I should have stayed with him and comforted him instead of leaving to sleep.
It’s been two years since I lost my dog, my sole companion of 11 years. I still haven’t moved anything in the house. He was everything to me. I realise now that I will have an eternal broken heart. My family didn’t seem to care and so I still grieve and do so alone.
My beautiful, incredible girl Sakina died only 4 years old, nearly 6 years ago January 2010. I still cry for her, miss her dearly, speak to her, I do not know even now if anyone can fill the huge gap she left in my life. I used to curl up in her bed, breathing her sweet scent in. My husband and I split a year after her death and it was an unspoken but huge reason – I blamed him and probably always will. I am deeply spiritual and will swear before God himself – I will not go to a heaven my love is not in. Ecclesiastes says humans and animals are the same, we all return to dust, I would forgo anything to be with her Dust, forever.
December 5, 2015. My dog died yesterday. She was only 8 1/2 years old but had a serious heart murmur causing her to fall on her side and go into what looked like a seizure which would last for 10 seconds or so and then she would come out of it. These episodes happened more frequently lately and so we made an appointment for her to see a cardiologist yesterday. My wife took her for the echo cardiogram and then brought her home. But when I came home later in the afternoon I found her breathing extremely labored and she was grunting with each breath. We didn’t know what to do at that point, so we got in the car and took her back to the Animal Hospital. She died in my arms on the way there. The lump in my throat is killing me. I’ve been crying on and off with my wife since yesterday. Right now I’m home alone with my other dog who is 14 1/2 years old and on his last legs, if you know what I mean. We feel so guilty because we believe that if we hadn’t taken her for that echo cardiogram yesterday she would still be alive. We know they didn’t do anything bad or wrong to her, but we sincerely believe she would be here right now if we hadn’t taken her. We understand that we must go through the grieving process, but I just felt the need to reach out and tell anyone who might read this. If I am honest with myself, it is for my own comfort that I’m writing this. I am in a lot of emotional pain and the thought of little Maddy being gone is killing me. However, I also do hope someone reads this who is also going through some sort of emotional loss and that they might find comfort in knowing that there are people out there who genuinely care about the suffering of others and who would love to try to make a difference in their lives in some way. I hope and pray that you would come across a loving, giving, caring person who will listen to you grieve and will be a friend in your time of need. Thank you, Lord, for the time we spent with Maddy and for all the love and joy she brought into our family. And God bless you all for sharing this with me.
Thank you for writing, Amy. Only you will know whether it’s too soon. Some people get a new dog right away and it’s a balm to their hearts. Others are still grieving and aren’t able to keep up with the needs of the new dog. You might consider fostering – it would keep your house from being empty in a way that doesn’t commit you, and help a dog in need.
My puppy Shepard moved on. October 30 2015 he was only 4 months old he was with me all the time on walks, at the park He slept on my lap at night and woke up with me. i put him outside quite a bit becuase he loved to run around i usually had him tied up. But somdays i would let him go out off the leash he would always run to the neighbors yard there was a dog over there in a cage. he would always run right back to the house never into the street. But one morning i saw him out in the neighbors yard and after a bit of chasing we would run back to the house but one day he didnt .He saw another dog and ran after it the first car stopped but the second car hit him. I miss him so much and feel guilty because he was so young. Ive never loved anybody like that dog though i only had him 2 months. Everyday i honestly just feel like im counting down the days to when ill see him again i hope i can stop thinking this way i just feel so much pain and guilt
I lost the love of my life Oliver a 15 and half year old white standard poodle on Tuesday Nov. 10-2015-I feel like I killed him-can’t seem to shake that thought-part of me feels like I prevented his suffering and another part says couldn,t you at least found out exactly what was wrong with him-I feel like I let him down-didn’t fight for his life no matter what his age was-I should of taken him to the vets sooner-I called the day he got sick but my vet couldn,t see him until 8 am the next day-I called back the same day he got sick and said I thought he was worse-and they said I could bring him to the emergency animal clinic-I didn’t want to do that -as I thought due to his age and other peoples experiences and my own with other familiy pets I took care of -particularly my daughters cat who took a quick slide one day and I took her to emergency clinic-they told me it looked hopeful and then called the next morning saying she died-I felt awful-no one with her-so not right-I knew Oliver could not be alone-I had to be with him-so stupdily I waited for the vet appt.- I had walked with Oliver on Sunday for 45 minutes-with a friend and her dog-he was slow but still had lots of life and love in him-I noticed he wasn;t eating in the am but sometimes he woukd do that and eat later-he slept allot but he does that be an older dog too-then on Monday at 3.20 am-I smelt poop and found him on the kitchen floor covered in it-and he couldnt get up-I think he was slipping on the linoleum-so I carried him into the bathroom-and put him in the tub-and washed him-towel dried him and put him on his bed-he slept most of the day-I thought he ate something that made him sick -he had a sensitive stomach to start-later that night I noticed his heart was racing faster than usual-he felt a little warm-I slept with him right beside me-he changed positions a couple of times-I fed him ice cubes he wouldnt drink any water -I didnt want him to get dehydrated-he stood up once and I took him outside -he almost fell over when he was pooping I held him up and brought him back in-at one point in the morning before I took him to vets i had someone help carry him part of the way to my car-some of it he walked -he stopped and looked at me like he didnt want to come back into our house-Im not sure if he was in pain and didnt want to move or if he was saying do something-I then took him to his vet who loves Oliver-everyone their loved him-they took his temp and it was 104.5 and he was almost dehydrated -gums starting to be dry-he twitched when touched -I know he knows I was their my vet said you can take him to Emergency clinic -but they will poke and prod him with IV fluids and antibiotcis with no guarantees I think he said he could be their for a few days-no guartantee at his age he would make it-I called all my girls-2 said its his time to go Mum -and you can be with him-my oldest daughter said why a fever-I feel like I should of investigated further why the fever-but NO i let myself be influenced by the vet -Im not saying its his fault-he told me it was my decision to make and left me with Oliver to make it-I decide to let him go-as I thought he would suffer and not know anyone at the clinic and I wouldnt be thier as they put them in a cage an d hook them up-you can go in initially but then thery take the dog-I couldn’t bear to hear he suffered and then died without me-but now I feel like why didn’t I try or have my vet try to save him-maybe he just had a bladder infection-I know I sound all over the place but I need to say it or I will burst form guilt-I feel like Oliver is saying to me-I get sick and this is what you do -KILL ME-
I am in shocked honestly-I feel unable to reallyu enjoy much of anything-I am just going through the motions -I had Ollie as I always called him cremated and picked up his ashed yesterday-I hugged the box and told him I was sorry-I do feel like he is with me a little more now-but the loss is heartbreaking -I am trying to concentrate on all the happy times we had together and how much I think he knew I loved him-it was he and I as my kids are all grown and have their own families now -and I have been divorced for years-I walk into my house and feel a rush of sadness that is overwhelming at times-I see his dog dish and bed and collar I can smell him-I saved a piece of his hair-I keep smelling that-I am seriously thinking of getting another poodle but I,m not sure that is the right thing to do so soon-I would appreciate anyones thoughts on that-my chest is heavy-I am trying to move forward but I tell myself this is normal-and reading on your heartfelt stories lets me know I am not alone and that does help-I LOVE YOU OLLIE AND I HOPE YOU FORGIVE ME!
I lost my beautiful best friend Bailey 3 days ago, after I chose to have him put to rest to stop any suffering he may have had to have gone through. I only took him for his yearly jabs, but the vet was concerned with his recent weight loss and slow walking pace. He had also started to drink so much more water than normal. The vet said it would either be kidney issues or diabetes, she also told me he was going blind and had lots of lumps over his body. I asked her opinion and she said as he was coming up for 12, he was an old man and she thought we were looking at months rather than a longer period. She said he would only get worse and suffer. I had always promised Bailey from the age of 8 weeks that I would never let him suffer, and so I made the hardest decision of my life to have him euthanized. I couldn’t bear to be with him when it happened, so I sat on the vets floor cradling him telling him I was sorry. He looked like he didn’t really know what I was saying, but I kissed him and told him I loved him so much, and that he was the best dog in the world. He was then led by the vet into the back of the surgery. That was the last memory of my baby boy, being led away to his death as if just going on another walk. I am filled with the most tremendous guilt, what if the vet had been wrong, what if I had just said I would pay for whatever needed to be done and we would see. It feels like I murdered him. I keep replaying the last moments in that room over and over in my head. Today I have felt a little stronger, trying to keep busy, but I find myself staring into space thinking about his big sad brown eyes and how I will never see him again. I know it will get better, each day is a step forward, I will never stop loving my gorgeous American Cocker Spaniel, and I know my pain will ease. I have good hours and bad hours, I feel hungry and then I’m not, I sleep deeply for a few hours and then I wake and cry. I will never forget Bailey touching my life, he was a true friend and the only one that knew all my secrets but never told, he gave the best cuddles and made me smile every time I was with him. Rest in peace my baby Bailey boy, I am so sorry and I will love and miss you always. XXXXXXXX
Some days I feel like people don’t understand me… I lost my Princess a little bit over a year ago and the pain feels like it was only a day ago. The other day I thought I was going crazy because I still fall apart at the thought of her gone. When I see her pictures on my lap top I cry for hours and it seems like it gets harder each day. There are days where I look at myself in the mirror and I don’t recognize the person staring back at me, I don’t feel like myself some times. I decided to google it and it brought me to this page. This page was all I needed. I’m grieving still… It’s hard loosing someone you grew so close to. Princess was like my best friend, some times I feel like she was my child. I am so sorry for your loss, your video made me smile and reminded me of all the things a dog can teach a human being. Thank you.
-B.
I lost my dog Lucky on August 30th, 2015. While it’s been almost two months, I still think about her all the time. Any time I’m alone at night, I start to get emotional. She died relatively young at 7 years old. I still am not sure the cause, and I don’t think I’ll ever know. I came home from school one weekend and she seemed fine. As the weekend wore on though, she became real skittish and was have pain her stomach. We went to the vet the night before she died but didn’t have any tests run on her. I only wish we would’ve run every test on her. The next morning she was crying out in pain and as we were carrying her to the car she let out one final yelp and stopped breathing. I held her in my arms when she died. I haven’t been the same since. It helps to come and read comments like these to know I am not alone though. I will always love my Lucky Charm.
These stories are ALL so devastating and heartwarming at the same time that they alone are enough to help someone through their grief. It’s been 10 yrs this Oct since I had to have my wonderful Border Collie,Cinnamon put down. This dog was such a joy to wake up or come home to that I still grieve as strongly as I did when that traumatic day happened. She never complained about anything,always brite eyed and waggy tailed and ready to kiss you at any given moment and I will always treasure her memory forever,hopi g that some day we are reunited once again and I truly believe I will see her again! I have the most trouble when I hear the song ‘Rain’, by Russ Freeman and the Rippingtons, because every time this song played,she would jump in my lap and kiss me then lay down and snuggle. So thank-you to all you kind hearted,lovers of truely man’s best friend. You have helped me
We just put our 13 year old Beagle down. She’s been with us our entire marriage, and we’ve never lived in a house together without that dog scampering about, howling, snoring, and sounding like a pot bellied pig rummaging the floor for scraps. She was diagnosed with Cushing’s disease a year ago, and she pulled through that first downward spiral and got back to relative health for a while, but the last few weeks she was showing signs of going downhill again. She was drinking water constantly and couldn’t hold her pee more than a few hours. She slept most of the day and wouldn’t even come out of our bedroom when I got home from work. I feel like she might have lived another few months or maybe even another year, but we promised ourselves that once she showed signs of going downhill again we wouldn’t wait. I regret that now, feel guilty that we might have done it too soon. That’s probably just normal guilt from a loss like this, but I can’t help but feeling this way. We were at the point this past month where she was dumping pee (literally just falling out of her) on the carpet when we couldn’t get her out quick enough, and I feel terrible that our selfish desires may have played a part in our decision to put her down. The day leading up to putting her down, I was sad about what was about to happen, but also a little excited about having a house without carpet stains and dog hair everywhere. Now that it’s over, I feel like absolute crap and I could care less what our stupid carpets look like. I feel guilty for even thinking those things instead of cherishing every last moment we had with her. I know in my heart she wasn’t going to live much longer, and I’ll keep telling myself she was already in pain and we spared her the worst of it, but I’m absolutely devastated by all the remorse and sadness I feel. Our house feels completely empty, even though we have 3 crazy kids running around. I know it will pass. Just sucks for now.
I lost my bassett Ralph 2 weeks ago at 12 years old. I can’t shake the feeling that he’s just in a different room.
Reading all of the posts on this site haso not stopped my tears, but I no longer feel alone and like I am going crazy in my grief. Perhaps telling you about Russell will help me further.
He was a wonderful large chocolate Labrador whom I rescued when he was two years old. He was a little rough around the edges, scared of men and of being handled, but I spent a lot of time working with him. At the age of
4, he was certified as a Therapy Dog and for 6 years we visited a seniors home weekly. His love was returned ten fold. He was a natural and staff and residents alike were drawn in by his magnetism.
Russell and I were very close. We walked 4 km every day, and when I was not working he was at my side most of the time. He was my best friend, my exercise machine, confidante, therapist, and the shoulder I cried on. As my friend said, Russell was my life.
On July 1st, 2015 I felt a lump I his muzzle while bathing him. A biopsy revealed a mast cell tumor. Surgery would have removed part of his nose, some teeth and jaw, then be followed by chemo therapy … and a high chance of it not succeeding. I could not do that to Russell. He was put on palliative care, and for the first while i really didn’t see differences in him. I began to delude myself into thinking maybe he had had that tumor a long while and that he would live a long life after all. Wrong.
Early I’m September Russell began experiencing changes. Rapidly. His face became itchy. He couldn’t sleep through the night. Some nights I slept on the floor with him. But he couldn’t seem to get comfortable for long. His medication was changed, but his discomfort did not.
It hurts too much to describe the various things that began happening.
On Monday, September 14th, 2015 Russell was euthenized. My heart is broken. My life is so empty. It has been almost three weeks now. The condolences by way of flowers, cards,calls, letters, and donations to the Spca in Russell name have stopped. My tears have not.
Thanks for listening.
My Jack Russell pup died last friday 4/9/15 – this day I will never ever forget. He was unwell for 2/3 weeks prior, his eyes looked more sadder then usual and when taken to the vet they said he had low red blood cells. He was given an injection of antibiotics and it seemed like he was well. Then 8/9/15 he played with his little brother (another JR) and his family, ate his dinner and then the next day my mum found his little lifeless body lying where he sleeps. I was distraught when my mum told me and then when I saw him myself, I was just devastated. I feel soooooooo guilty that we didn’t urge the vet to take further tests, get a blood test! I remember him looking at me with his sad eyes!!!! I keep going through it in my head again and again………. Cocoa still had at least the next 3 years with us, I remember saying that to my mum the Sunday before he passed. This was the last time I played with him and told him he would be okay. I feel soo heart broken, sooo very guilty. I will always love and miss my puppy for as long as I live. I just hate the way things happened and I am so angry, I always keep my family and my pups in my prayers so they are well and safe… and then Cocoa just dies suddenly. I don’t even know how he died as I was/am to distraught to even think of doing a PM on him. I received a call just before that Cocoa was cremated so I am waiting… my pup will be back home soon. Goodbye my baby, I will always love you and will never forget you, and I will see you one day again. You were the best dog ever.
i just lost my dog yesterday. He was ran over in front of my house. He was only 6 months old…. i saw him dying in the middle of the street. I ran to him and saw his body jumping. His eyes popped out and was covered in blood. i picked him up and my arms were covered in blood. I close my eyes and i have this image over and over again. He was my baby. I was there when he was born..and when he started to walk. He slept with me and was always behind me as i walked. I can’t stop crying. I cannot sleep. I feel lonely and empty inside. I feel like no one understands me. I miss him so much and i can’t look at another dog without thinking about my baby.. Rocky.
Thank you to all who share the love of your animal companions and the grief you suffer at their passing. Sharing your stories helps those of us in pain understand that we are not crazy and certainly not alone in the depth of our despair at such a significant loss.
We said goodbye to our first foster dog only six months ago. Before we could heal, our companion and beloved Jack Russell was diagnosed with aggressive nasal cancer. Toby and Rusty remain in our hearts, yet we ache to kiss their wet noses, long for the soulful look in their precious brown eyes, and wish we could hug them just ine more time…
Tears are running down my cheeks and my eyes are stinging so its hard to write… What our furry companions mean to us only we really know…
Thank you to everyone out there. I wish you peace and comfort in your time of grief.
On August 7, 2015 I took my beautiful girl Genevere (a blue chow); she who would be ten years of age on October 18th for an ultrasound.. she had been unable to eat without being sick afterwards and was losing weight and energy.
The ultrasound (per the vet) showed no juices flowing through her gastrointestinal tract and there was a 90 to 95% chance that she had stomach cancer.
Genevere and I had been through thick and thin together; relationships, moves, my illnesses….I just didn’t want to let her go nor did she look like she was even sick.
We brought her home with the idea to spoil her and love her up even more than her daily hugs and kisses —–
the morning of August 8th, 2015 she seemed to have a bit of a breathing issue, looked so sad and with not being able to eat was unsteady on her feet.
Logically I felt Genevere had been hiding her pain, never a cry or wince. I just knew she wouldn’t make it through the weekend and i/we loved her sooo much we couldn’t put her through more pain.
Watching Genevere fall to sleep before the final step was heartbreaking —as I write this I am in tears and my heart actually hurts.
She was always my baby girl and a fighter- tough as nails and just as stubborn.
Before she fell asleep she git to her feet and turned towards me, I stroked her cute little round face and told her I loved her, snuggled in and she gave me a kiss; I will never forget that love.
Genevere is now back with us cremated, she sits on my bedroom dresser next to my first chow Cubby (whom they had bonded together as best friends). Just as Cubby passing left Genevere alone til we got a sister for her (Maggie-mae), Genevere has now left Maggie alone.
The house feels sooo empty and poor little Maggie still waits for the cue Genevere used to give her to eat, go outside, etc.
Maggie waits on the stairs wondering each time we come through the door whether Genevere is with us.
We love you and miss you so very much Genevere..may your spirit surround all of us always.
Mommy.
I had to put my bassett hound Roscoe, my beautiful baby down on Monday 8/10/15. My heart is so broken. He was my soulmate doggie. He was 8 yrs old. My baby was the sweetest pup you could ever have the pleasure of meeting. He loved everyone. He wanted to play with them or get a belly rub. And he was super intelligent. My heart is so broken. I hurt with a deepness that I don’t know if I will ever be able to adjust. My pain is deep in my chest. I am so sad, right into my soul. I also am so mad at God. I have had hard a life, and hey I dealt with it, but this time God took something from me that I loved more than anything on earth. Don’t say it was not God’s doing. He could have fixed this, and say not now. My pup got to the point that blood was coming from both sides of his nose. He was dying of cancer. I begged and prayed that God would take him in his sleep, but NO, I had to make the choice of sending him to the Rainbow Bridge. I did not want to make a decision like that. He was my love, my friend, my companion, my pup. Now he is gone and I feel so guilty. I love him so much. I am married, and I have 2 more dogs. But Roscoe stuck to me like we were glued together with super glue. He would talk to me, and he had a way of looking into my soul with his eyes. He slept so close to me I would hang on the edge of the bed. Why God, why this. When is enough…..enough?
This was very helpful. I lost my best friend my brother on Monday. We had him for 12 years. He was a boxer. Pit theBoxer as everyone called him. He had cancer. We did about 7 operations the last 8 year. The last one was leukaemia. He lost 30% of his blood in one night. He passed it again one month ago and tried to fight it. He was my everything. I feel empty. I feel lost. I feel a part of me died with him. I know that he would have wanted me to be smiling and happy.
I miss him so much. Now I was sorting his toys out and remembering all the funny things he used to do.
Our house is empty now. With him it was a home now it’s just a house.
I am so heartbroken. We had to put our baby to sleep yesterday. Kimo was a rescued puppy. We had her since we got our home in 2004. I was not dog person at first I thought she smelled bad and looked funny. My hubby instantly fell in love with her. It did not take me long to love her. She changed me 🙂 she was our protector our companion our love and family. We missed her so much. The whole day yesterday and this morning my hubby and I can’t stop crying. It’s hard enough I lost my father this year too and now my most beloved Kimo. 2015 is not my year for sure. Thanks for sharing your stories.
🙁 it helps but i lost my dog too i know how u feel she was a sweet dog i had good memories with her but just it was going to happen at 1 point becease the live they die its just in gods special way i just really miss her i wake up every morning thinking about her i hate dog cancer its what caused all this badniss she had to go to my grandmas house becease of are landlord we had to many anamales in the house but at some point all of them wil be gone they live they die i know i said it 2+ but whatever it matters i just have ben depressed for days weeks months years agers millions and millions of years plus my grandpa just died and lm going through hard stuff know i cryied to deth but my grandmpa and pumpkin with her floppy ears them 2 will alwase be in my heart sighning off for know goodby granpa and pumpkin 🙂 🙁