It’s taken me almost ten years after Peanut’s passing to get a new heart dog, but she’s finally arrived!

A month ago, we brought home a new puppy, a Rat Terrier x Australian Cattle Dog. She’s 5 months old and is already lighting up my life.

I can’t believe it’s been almost a decade. How did I get here? First a quick pause to meet Mesquite:

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had dogs this whole time. Bean was already in the home for a year when Peanut passed away from cancer. I had time to fall in love with Bean. After Peanut died, I got a second dog for him, Zuki, when I knew I wasn’t ready, but she needed a home and Bean enthusiastically chose her. I was heartbroken when Bean died at age of five, in the jaws of a coyote. We still have Zuki, and my husband has also gotten a Lab, his own heart dog, Joey.

As much as I do love Zuki, and as much as it pains me to say, she’s not my heart dog. I think it’s mostly due to getting her too soon after losing Peanut. Ever since Bean passed, I’ve been without a heart dog, as part of a person. I’m not just me, I’m part of a We that includes a canine partner.

Now that I’m reinvigorated and inspired in my work with dogs again, I feel safe enough to vulnerably admit that it’s been hard to summon passion for dog training since losing Bean. Grief had rooted in the places where curiosity about dogs normally lives. I’m the best teacher when I’m also a learner, and I didn’t have my own heart dog to practice with. My heart dogs are also my muses, my greatest teachers, my reason to keep being so fascinated with every head turn, every lip lick, every choice. So many dog trainers burn out and I wonder if we need more grief support in this industry.

I’m grateful that we have had so many amazing collaborations at the GSA because so many amazing humans brought their insightful fire and spirit, and I’ve been able to showcase them. I’m also grateful for the folks who have been learning BAT from past Grisha in all of the self-paced classes. Every time I hear of a dog living their best life because of my work, or a new person gets certified in BAT, I get a little spark of joy and inspiration. It’s been enough to keep me going, but I’ve still been craving the missing part of my heart.

I focused on mourning deliberately when Peanut died and took the time to grieve when Bean was killed, too. Grief has become a special interest of mine, especially after becoming a widow, and I even took classes to learn how to hold grief spaces for others. I am so glad I leaned into my grief intentionally, as it was able to soften much of the heartache I carried. At the same time, there was still more in there, more to grieve in community grief spaces, in conversations, and alone on walks.

I mentioned that grief took up residence in the part of me where my love for dogs lived. This impacted my work. Peanut is at the heart of BAT. He inspired the core of my interest in dogs, and of course, he was my greatest teacher. The most obvious grief was in the first year, when it hurt to show videos of him in workshops. Over time, it became invisible, even to me. I experienced joy thinking of him, not sorrow. Every so often, in a deep community grief ritual, I’d be able to pull up some unprocessed bit of the loss and release it. What I didn’t realize is that I still had some numbness to feel into.

I’d been starting to get curious about having another puppy for the last half a year or so, little sparks of ‘maybe.’ And then last month, the final piece that was holding me back from falling in love with a dog again was able to melt.

I was facilitating an online grief space and ended up, coincidentally, needing to do the Zoom session from my car. I was visiting Seattle, where I lived when Peanut and I first became family. I decided to park my car outside of the apartment I lived in when Peanut came home to us, two-pounds of black furry puppy-ness.

When my turn came to share, the dam broke, and I cried and shared sorrow I didn’t realize I was carrying. After the session, I walked around the neighborhood and thought tenderly of his puppyhood. On the drive home the next day, I decided to get a puppy, but set a timeline for after Zuki passed away. Her nervous system is set high and I didn’t want it to influence the puppy.

But then I spoke with Claire Goyer, who is the administrator of the Grisha Stewart Academy. She gave me more space to share my feelings and talk through the reasoning. We were able to work through ideas of how to navigate the training for the puppy, and I decided the very next day that it was time to find my new heart dog. I’m so grateful for Claire’s patient listening.

I found Mesquite (aka Keeti/Mosquito/Keto) at a local rescue on Petfinder. I was hoping to find a dog who was chill and easy, already socialized. But you get the dog you need, not the dog you want. She had basically never walked outside except in a backyard. Her little paw pads were bright pink. She was terrified of noises, people, dogs, and so much more. And yet in her comfort zone, she’s outgoing, bright, eager, and a bit pushy. It’s been a month and BAT has been working wonders with her.

I have to admit, that despite BAT helping so many dogs, I’ve been battling with a sort of imposter syndrome without Bean and Peanut around. That somehow I’m not qualified to teach people about how to support their dogs if I don’t have a dog of my own that I’m excited to train and work with. That maybe I’ve lost my chops.

Working with Mesquite and watching her quickly open up to this new-to-her world has helped my doubts fall away. I remember why I developed BAT in the first place, and I’m just in awe of it’s effectiveness now as I was then. I remember why it evolved and experience so much joy seeing BAT work for her.

Most importantly, I don’t have to feel like an expert any more. I can feel like a beginner, just a dog mom who is in love and curious and excited to share what works. I’m weaving in more bonding and play and taking note of what survival skills help her the most. BAT feels alive to me again, as I learn how to apply it to expand Mesquite’s world.

If I had it to do the last 10 years again, the main part I would change is my self-doubt that convinced me that numbness was some sort of character flaw, instead of a sign that more grief needed to be felt.

Thank you community grief work for bringing me to this place of acceptance. Thank you Peanut for still being part of my heart, always and forever. Thank you Mesquite, for helping my heart beat again. Also thanks you to the folks over the years who have helped keep BAT alive and have kept my interest in dogs afloat.

So back to my question at the top, when is the right time for a new heart dog? For me, it’s right now. I think it’s just whenever your heart says you’re ready. You may be able to fall in love a month after your dog passes. It might be a year. Or ten. If you’re not ready yet, if you’re feeling numb or resentful or tearful, don’t worry. Just keep leaning into the work of grief. Tears are medicine for the soul. Shed them. We’re all different. Don’t rush it.

Your capacity to love a dog is a treasure that’s just waiting to be found again.

*Content Warning: discussion of systemic and interpersonal racism and other forms of oppression, with specific examples.*

Dr. Katherina Alvarez has conducted fascinating and powerful original research to explore inequities in the dog training/behavior industry and what we can do about it.

This is her first article about her powerful qualitative research on this subject. I’m publishing it here on my site (and Katherina will do the same on hers) because it was surprisingly challenging to publish in a dog trainer organization’s journal (we did only try one journal and plan to share to others). That’s all I’ll say about that, except that I’ve never faced this type of difficulty getting my own work published, as a white person, and it kind of proves exactly it needs to be published and READ. That last part is up to you. 🙂

Here’s the link to Dr. Alvarez’s article if you want to go right to it: “The Reality of Being a Black, Indigenous, and Global Majority Dog Professional.”

[When you share this, please link directly to the page my site, grishastewart.com/racism, or Katherina’s (preferably hers once it’s posted on katherinaalvarez.com). Thanks!]

I’d also like to explore why I think her article so important for you to read, especially if you are white and thus have the privilege of not having to think about how race affects your role as a dog professional. My comments are below.  -Grisha

Katherina also has a webinar coming up: Social Justice: Cultivating Equity for All Dog Professionals on May 31.

When Katherina and I first began working together on her research project well over a year ago, the first question was “Does race affect the experience of BIPGM dog professionals” and “If so, how?” She explained that without asking BIPGM trainers and behaviorists their experiences, any attempts to address inequity could fall flat, or worse, cause harm. We needed data.

Katherina weaves quotes from one of the interviews into her article. The experiences of a Black veterinarian and dog trainer pain a clear picture. Thank you Alicia* for boldly sharing your story. And thank you to the many others who also shared their experiences for the full project.

“When I graduated, I couldn’t get a job at first, although my classmates had jobs before we graduated. I was even flown, all expenses paid, to interview for jobs only to be told within an hour of arriving, they had filled the job, or ‘our clients would not accept a Black veterinarian.’I had not put my photo on my resume.

Once I did that, I was not able to get an interview for a few months. I finally was hired at a hospital, where it turned out the owner was a staunch racist and hired me because he could pay me half what my classmates were getting. I couldn’t stay there…”

We dog trainers and behaviorists have such an opportunity. We are uniquely educated to see patterns of behavior and understand systems.

Opportunities aren’t equally distributed in our human world. Yet.

If some aspect of your identity is marginalized, you already know that, of course.

If you’re white, even if you have other marginalized identities, you may not really fully understand the extent of systemic oppression, even if you think you do. It’s a deep, deep well. I ask you to take special note and really read Dr. Alvarez’s article carefully and attend her upcoming Social Justice webinar, which includes all forms of oppression, all the -isms, with a special focus on systemic racism. I can attest that I’ve personally learned a lot from this collaboration and hope you will, too.

How does privilege show up in dog training? What systemic changes would remove unequal obstacles for BIPGM people to thrive as dog professionals?  Katherina’s research conducted interviews with BIPGM dog professionals to work toward understanding that, at least within our industry.

As Katherina explains in the article, privilege isn’t about having everything you want, or for things to be easy. It means having what you have is unfairly easier for you than it is for others.

The rules of the ‘game’ of life aren’t the same for everyone, and that needs to change. [To see that in actual game form, check out Disparity Trap: The Unfair Game of Life]

Part of my success as a professional dog trainer and author is due to the connections I’ve made. Learning about social justice and doing the work helps me acknowledge that the ‘doors’ that my network opened along the way are harder for Black, Indigenous, and People of the Global Majority (BIPGM) to open. Networking matters. Go out of your way to expand your network.  This need for better networking opportunities for BIPGM trainers is something that came through in Katherina’s research.

[Attend Katherina’s Social Justice webinar to help learn what doors are shut for other people because of the various -isms.]

Here’s an example of what can happen when white people don’t actively work to expand their networks. In 2022, I signed the Minimum Viable Diversity pledge, which is: “I will never speak at any paid conferences or panels as part of a homogeneous group of speakers” – and I also pledge the same for free events. I was told by multiple hosts that they couldn’t find enough speakers from diverse backgrounds, so I declined their invitation to present. I’d like to say to every host out there: go out of your way to expand your network. I invite you ask me if you need help finding speakers.

[If you’re a speaker with marginalized identity and want to be on my list to share with hosts, or if you’ve got some sort of obstacle and want a connection I may be able to make from my network, I invite you to get in touch with me (or just message me if we’re already friends on FB or Instagram.) This is me going out of my way to expand my network.

And it’s not a big ask to contact me if you’re looking for a seminar host in a certain country or whatever else. It’s super common to tap into one’s network to ask for connections. I imagine most of the other dog speakers would do the same for you, too. None of us do this alone.]

Our species is globally interconnected, now more than ever (though we still must, must, must do our individual self-reflective and learning work — especially folks with systemic privilege, leadership positions in the dog industry, or even an active social media presence, who are in a position to do more unintentional harm). As Professor Angela Davis pointed out in a recent talk on social justice and joy, we also have systemic privilege as humans, and we are interconnected to all species on this living planet.

We  suffer when any other being suffers and we experience joy as a response to their joy. That’s what mirror neurons are for. We living beings feel one another. When we pay attention, we can feel ourselves. I feel you. You feel me. We, as individuals and various groups of identities, are also part of one big nervous system.

To me, caring means considering the perspective, pain points, joys of all humans (all beings, ideally), with my defenses down, in order to be part of co-creating a world in which all of us can thrive. Each of us has different information and together we have more of the whole picture. My perspective is that life is not a test, it is a lesson, and that lesson is love.

With defenses down, we can learn, and mess up, and learn, and mess up, and learn until clarity begins to emerge. That’s the personal work I’m doing on my own bias and if you’re not already doing that, I invite you to try it. It’s ok to ‘get it wrong’ and keep trying, keep learning to expand awareness of how others see the world, how they see you.

That’s why Katherina’s article is so important. It brings awareness to the million tiny cuts of microaggressions from internalized bias and the large disparities in our systems. And what we can do about it.

Microaggressions are a million small ways of phrasing things or making assumptions that come from holding some sense of superiority or exclusivity because of the color of one’s skin. And this is not because white people are bad, or we are some sort of irretrievably broken human that is a racist, but because we are learners in an evolving system that favors white skin. That system is changing, bit by bit. We are all subject to learning, every one of us.

In areas in which you hold privilege, you will make ‘mistakes’ along the way. You will accidentally do harm via microaggressions or other means. I have done so myself and unfortunately, I surely will again. One particular growth area for me right now is to note that I hold privilege in areas I didn’t have as a child. Systemic privilege is not a fixed thing. It changes, so I have the opportunity to examine my inner world and mindfully adapt.

That’s part of this work, learning how to stop bumping into walls, setting shame and defensiveness aside to hold yourself accountable for harm, restoring justice through reparations from harm you’ve done, allowing our perspective to grow from interacting with others. We can all examine our actions and learn from them.

I share some of my own story and perspective to help bridge this for white people who might need motivation to pay more attention to BIPGM people. To make it relevant. Important. Arguably the most important work we will ever do. I am not the expert in this, though I am educating myself. I am not leading anything. I am following, holding space, helping voices be heard. Using my privilege to asking questions and shift the status quo.

I also wrote this post because this is something white people don’t often talk about. I share it vulnerably for BIPGM people and other marginalized groups to know where I stand in this moment in my learning journey. I’m learning out loud. This blog post is a living document and I’m open to your suggestions to be of better service. Thank you to those who have already made suggestions, feel free to circle back.

Speaking of circling back, let’s go back to that first question. Katherina’s research clearly shows that race does have an impact on the experience of BIPGM dog professionals and it suggests very specific changes to promote equity.

As behaviorists, we understand systems of behavior. We are great at looking at the needs of each being in a family system and finding ways to create harmony. We are uniquely positioned to make the whole world better, not just our industry, but it’s an excellent place to start.

Katherina sums it up well in the article: “Remember that combating racism is an ongoing process that requires continuous learning, unlearning, and relearning. It is crucial to hold yourself accountable and be open to feedback from marginalized communities. Racism is a social problem with a social solution that requires commitment, unity, and hard work from all of us.

This conversation is constantly evolving, so I encourage you to keep up with readings and the growing collective knowledge, to be open to learning new concepts and frameworks, and to walk away with even more questions. This is only the beginning of a deeper and urgent conversation.”

If any of that struck a chord (or if you’ve even just made it this far), please download and read Katherina’s article, “The Reality of Being a Black, Indigenous, and Global Majority Dog Professional.”

Dr. Alvarez is teaching a webinar to expand on the article. Please join in and help us spread the word: Social Justice: Cultivating Equity for All Dog Professionals on May 31.

Katherina will be joined in the Q&A with Kassidi Jones, PhD Candidate (@gingers_naps on Instagram). You can find more about Dr. Alvarez at KatherinaAlvarez.com.

p.s. All proceeds for seminar purchases go to the presentation speakers and their NVC facilitators (not to me).

p.p.s. Money should never be a barrier to education. Academy scholarships are also available.

* Alicia is a pseudonym, for her protection.

Update summary: 

• Replaced thought experiment with actual data from the article. That’s a way better way to amplify BIGPM voices.
• Focused the spotlight on Dr. Alvarez’s article, because getting people to read it is the whole point of this blog post.
• Doubled-down on vulnerability.
• Clarified why I am speaking about myself at all here and removed some of it.

Our Mission: To help our students feel empowered, prepared, and curious for more, resulting in happy dogs, happy families, and a legacy of empathy, kindness, and collaboration in the dog training industry.

We believe love is love, no human is illegal, Black lives matter, your life matters, science is important, women’s rights are human rights, animals are individuals with an emotional experience, emotional and physical safety is essential, kindness is everything, and peace deserves a chance. We value and celebrate the many ways of being human. We continue to learn how to better live our values, which are reflected in our work in our local and international communities.

The Mission at Work: How Are We Helping? Continue reading Living Our Values →

‘Follow your dog’

Most trainers and owners using BAT 2.0 (for aggression, frustration, and fear), know that it’s important not to lead the dog towards the trigger. Instead, we try to follow the dog’s movements and to remain behind them. Most of the time, we want to influence things as little as possible. The dog decides where to go (with a few exceptions).

We do this because we want the dog to feel empowered and in control whilst in the presence of the trigger. Feeling in control means they will feel safer, around the scary thing. And, the safer they feel, the less need they will have to be reactive, to keep that scary thing away from them.

Leading dogs around — or even influencing their direction in subtle ways — won’t help them to feel empowered and in control when they are near the trigger.

But lots of people do lead dogs about excessively in BAT Set-Ups, often without even realizing they are doing this.

Continue reading The Zen of BAT: On “Not-Wanting” Progress (or how to Relax and Just Follow Your Dog) →

We ‘dog people’ love our dogs, in ways that people who aren’t bonded to dogs just don’t understand. We have formed a special kind of connection, what scientists call an attachment relationship.

It’s not just a preference to attach. We’re literally biologically linked to our attachment figures. Our heart rates and breathing sync up, and if the relationship is secure, even imagining the attachment figure increases heart rate variability, meaning our mammalian nervous system is more resilient and better able to respond to stress (Bryant & Hutanamon, 2018).  Life is less scary, less painful, and more interesting with healthy attachments.

Attachment includes proximity seeking, which is one explanation for why my dog, Joey, just brought his toy to chew on my leg.

We can make life better for our dogs by paying attention to their experience of attachment relationships. To that end, I’ve developed a framework to systematically apply attachment theory to canine learning, which I call Secure Attachment Family Education (S.A.F.E.). This is big stuff and I hope you’ll read it through!

Continue reading The S.A.F.E. Framework for Dog Training & Care: Secure Attachment Family Education →

I have a confession to make. Today was a down day, that kind of day where I wasn’t my best dog trainer self. At all.

To paraphrase a Reddit that I found when I furiously googled “I hate my dog,” in that moment of frustration, I hated him with the passion of 10,000 suns. A surprising number of people have written on the internet that they hate their dogs.

And although hate is too strong of a word, even though it’s not my whole truth, and even though I’m a dog trainer and I love dogs, especially this one, and truly hate no one…it still feels really, really freeing to type out the words, “I hate my dog.”

Continue reading Confession: I Hate My Dog’s Reactivity →

The phrase, “shut up and train” has been around for at least a decade or two, but it’s gotten in my head lately.

I’m going to split hairs here, and I totally understand that part of the point of “shut up and train” is to stop splitting hairs, to log off and train our dogs. But I don’t want to respond to a command to shut up, and I have a little time, so here goes.

Words matter, even when they’re meant to be a little tongue-in-cheek. Can we inspire ourselves or others without giving a command to shut up?

“Shut up” is loaded with conditioning. Using the phrase brings that conditioning with it, and it’s part of why it’s effective. Punishment does, after all, work, it just has negative side effects. It’s kind of like a trainer saying that they just use the beep of an ecollar after training, that it’s not aversive any more because they aren’t needing to shock. It’s there, in the language.

We’re capable of finding a kinder way to inspire people, as trainers, teachers, motivators of behavior. I have faith in us. 

The intentions of the phrase have merits.

For example, one more modern interpretation of the phrase is to encourage us to clock more actual time physically working with our dogs, off of the computer, (as in gabbing about it on Facebook, arguing amongst ourselves, or, writing articles that split hairs about phrases like “shut up and train” (yes, I see the irony). [Two articles from 2016 here and here].

How we do one thing is how we do everything, and attitude matters. Phrasing matters. Surely there’s a more life-giving and respectful way to motivate ourselves to than by saying “shut up”? How about “Show up and train?”

Do we need an aversive shock like “shut up” to get us out of the thrall of our devices, because they have trained us so well to keep pushing buttons for virtual treats?  “Why are you staring at the square?” is what I think my dog wonders (phrasing from Anders Hallgren). As we say in the school, “Pause to practice.”

As a trainer, you can also focus more on the consequences, because that will help remind you to train. Create your own reinforcement plan to build the behavior of training your dog, if you want to train more.

Back to more perks of shutting up and training…

One of the original meanings was to be less chatty while training. Focusing on nonverbal behavior when working with nonverbal animals is pretty useful.

For example, if we’re constantly talking to our dogs as we train, it’s hard for them, and us, to focus on things like timing, behavior chains, treat delivery, reinforcement schedules, and carefully observing the dog’s behavior.

It’s also helpful to not overload our human learners. If you’re a trainer, be concise and show the client what you’re talking about by demonstrating with an animal, sharing a video, or walking them through training their dog. Speak mindfully, with long moments of silence to enable focus when the caregiver is practicing.

If you’re wanting to convince someone else to train without intimidation, and they’re not yet asking you questions, the best way to do that is just to show them that it’s working. I understand the desire to say “shut up and train” to yourself (or others) there, but “show up and train” still works without the implied insult. Or just “lead by example.” 🙂

My  issue with the phrase is the violent nature of the statement, “shut up.” I know, it’s tempting to use because it has more impact, but it also has an inherent bit of intimidation or anger in it, of wanting to silence whoever the person is saying it to (even if that person is oneself). Quickly, without another word.

“Shut up and train,” is not a conversation, it’s a one-sided demand that stops further thought. It has been rocketing around in my head for weeks now. Why do I take so much offense?

“Shut up and train” makes my ears squint just because of the word “shut up,” but lately the phrase has also been used to imply that talking and having emotions is not part of the dog trainer’s job. In fact, the opposite is true. Professional dog trainers are primarily educators. The caregivers do the bulk of the training.

Demonstrating is a huge part of what we do, but using words to communicate to people and learn from others is critical. If we just show them the mechanics of dog training, they miss the whole point, and we have to teach every single thing.

Or worse, dog training becomes stuck in outdated techniques, focusing on the human’s wishes without considering the dog’s nuanced needs.

As dog trainers, the function of our own behavior with dogs is what’s important – it’s not just what we do, but WHY we do it.

Building empathy, getting caregivers and other trainers to understand the function of canine behavior, to carefully observe dogs, to notice what needs a dog is trying to meet, to know enough about themselves to take their own needs into account…that’s how we make life more harmonious and safe for people AND dogs. That’s how we continue to move the industry forward.

So no, for that interpretation of the phrase, I will never “shut up and train.” And I know most of you won’t, either.

A key part of a dog trainer’s job is to speak for those who cannot.

We are educators, bridge builders, translators.

I will never stop advocating for dogs (and people) and their needs. I will keep building empathy and understanding through words.

And I’m overjoyed to see so many people doing the same. Keep listening. Keep learning. Keep your voice. Stay kind.

(Oh yes, and do log off and train! Your dogs need you.)

#ShowUpAndTrain #SpeakUpAndTrain #LogOffAndTrain

Imagine you’re a betta fish, swimming in your home, and suddenly you find yourself jostled around into a cramped 2-liter bottle for the rest of your brief life.

You’re not there because someone loves fish and want to take care of you, you’re just part of a child’s science experiment. Live animals are prohibited in the national science fair, but not in school classrooms. Texas middle schooler Ruby G. recently stepped up on behalf of the animals and may have saved thousands of (fish) lives over the next decades of classroom experiments.

Ruby’s 7th grade honors classroom was experimenting with different ecosystems with 2 liter soda bottles. A terrarium, with soil and bean or grass seeds is in a bottle on top. On the bottom was the aquarium bottle. A string between the 2 acts as a root system and carries water to the soil.

The aquarium ecosystem had gravel, aquatic plants called Duckweed, bottled spring water, and snails. The teacher also said they could add a betta fish and/or small fish. This is when Ruby started to realize putting fish in something that small was disastrous. It wasn’t just theory–fish in other classes had already died in the first week!

Does your Yes life need a tune-up?

I wrote a Facebook post last night. It was very satisfying, at first, because I got to say NO, confrontational dog training isn’t right. Stop It.

But that’s really ironic, right? That I am trying to use something negative to fix the problem of being too negative? I can do better than that. If I really want change, there’s a better way to teach, which I use all the time with dogs.

My goal with dogs is to maximize chances for positive reinforcement in their lives, in all forms. I want to be able to say YES a lot to dogs and that applies to people too.
So what do I want to happen? What do I want to see? I do try to use positive phrasing when talking to people, but sometimes on social media, or with my husband, my inner 2-year-old comes out. No No NO.

So I’m working on my Yes life. Today I started my own challenge, and I hope you’ll join me. For the next two weeks (and maybe more) I am going to focus on phrasing all social media posts and comments in a positive way, and add the hashtag of #CelebrateTheGood to remind myself. If I look back and see that I could have done better, or missed an opportunity to be positive, I will revise or repost, and add the hashtag of #CelebrateTheGood to those, too.

Examples of positive posts and comments:

• Why you train dogs the way that you do (if you catch yourself pointing out negative things about the other side, just replace those with information on what TO do and why it’s awesome).
• Something great that happened to you.
• What you agree with about XYZ (especially good for comments)

I picked social media because in a way, it’s easier than real life. You can take your time crafting your words. You can revise when you see that it could have been better. That’s a  great learning opportunity.

Flags that indicate your post may have room for improvement:

• Words like no, not, never, wrong,…
• Judgements like hate, can’t stand,…
• Name calling or insulting someone’s character (idiot, uneducated, mean, bitch, jerk, troll, you get the gist)
• Reading through it gives you a bad feeling

Here’s my original post from yesterday:

So let’s try that again, with positive phrasing. First, I would leave off the blog post share because it’s all about negative phrasing, “things dog trainers hate.”

So there we go. Let’s positivize the internet and fix our Yes lives. Can you join with me and take the #CelebrateTheGood Challenge for the next two weeks?

We took the dogs to the 6-Mile Creek Whitewater Bluegrass Festival in Alaska this weekend. It was great! I was very happy with how Bean and Peanut did and how the dogs felt about the experience.

It was a bit like a dog park with music, but it worked out well, since the dogs all started to know each other. The surface (river rocks) also discouraged a lot of running and playing, so it was easier for the dogs to stay calm.  There was a lot of space and the dogs were off leash, so they were able to diffuse tension more naturally. Continue reading 19 Fun-Saving Tips for Festival Dogs →

You might have read some of the traditional training books or watched a certain tv show that talks about training with treats as if it were a sloppy or mamby-pamby way to train dogs, whereas training with punishment means the dog works with you because they love you. The people who avoid treats just don’t know enough about *how* to train dogs with treats, and I thought I’d write a blog post to give an overview of how to precisely use reinforcers to get reliable dog behavior.
Continue reading Will Training a Dog with Treats Spoil the Dog? →

I know some of you just can’t stand that fluffy new puppy who adores you, and want to get rid of her as soon as possible. If you can’t find anyone to take this cute bundle of fur, here’s how you can at least make sure she doesn’t live out her natural life. Unfortunately, most of these also make your neighbors mad at you, but whatever.
Continue reading 8 Sure-Fire Ways to Shorten Your Dog’s Life →

There are only two main principles for dog-friendly training.  Give something to get more of a behavior you want. Take something away to stop a behavior you don’t like.

Positive Reinforcement (+R): If you want your dog to repeat a behavior more frequently, reward that behavior in some way.

Negative Punishment (-P): If you want your dog to repeat a behavior less frequently, remove any reward or perceived award for the behavior. This should happen rarely – focus on reinforcement.

Think of positive and negative in the addition/subtraction sense.  The counterparts to +R and -P are negative reinforcement (take away an aversive – something painful or unpleasant to the dog – as a reward) and positive punishment (present the dog with something painful or unpleasant for doing something you do not like). Continue reading What are Quadrants? Applying Learning Theory to Dog Training →

Why Should I Crate Train My Dog?

Dogs and puppies should all be taught to be comfortable in a crate or kennel. The crate is a great hang-out place for dogs that are stressed, it’s excellent for safely taking dogs in the car, and
Continue reading How to Crate Train Your Puppy →

When dolphin trainers want to get a perfect jump from their charges, they don’t put a leash on the dolphin, ask it to jump, then ‘correct’ the dolphin for not jumping and manually put it through the jumping motions. For one thing, the dolphin’s body isn’t well-suited to a leash. For another, it would be difficult, if not impossible, to physically manipulate the dolphin into a jump. Finally, the dolphin would get back at the trainer — probably dousing her with a big splash of water or tossing her out of the pool (a favorite tactic of killer whales)! Continue reading What is Clicker Training? How Do You Use It to Train a Dog? →

[Click here to see some great custom leashes!]

If your dog pulls on the leash, then the walk is neither healthy for your dog nor relaxing for you. It’s also a sign that you and your dog are not paying attention to each other — it takes two to pull, after all.

Walks with your dog can feel like walking meditation, not a battle! One wonderful thing is that if the human learns not to pull on the leash, the dog can learn much more easily! Please learn about the BAT leash skills in this article [click here] or the BAT Leash Skills webinar to help set your dog up for success. It’s very helpful to start out your dog’s training by first teaching yourself not to pull.

Continue reading How to Train a Dog to Stop Pulling on the Leash →

Related:

• Custom 15-foot long leashes for BAT are now available! We ship worldwide, with free shipping to the US.
• Walk With Me! Streaming feature-length video on walking skills for both ends of the leash (or DVD)

BAT should be a dance between the dog and the person. The human is the one who knows the plan for the dance, but the dog is the one who has the understanding of rhythm.

Continue reading BAT Leash Skills – How to Stop Pulling Your Dog →

This post is inspired by the story of two friends of mine, who just adopted a dog for a week on a ‘trial basis’. If you’re looking for a shelter or rescue dog to adopt, I’d love to help you avoid the mistakes they made.

First off, I want to say that I’m all for getting rescue dogs. I have rescue dogs and I probably always will.

There are tons of great rescue dogs that need forever homes. In fact, I just flew down to the Seattle area to adopt Bean from Welfare for Animals Guild, because at the moment I was looking, there were no reputable rescues in my area with puppies available. [update: Bean videos can be found here]

Continue reading How NOT to Pick the Wrong Rescue Dog for You →

I wrote this two years ago, when I was traveling a ton and missing my boy. Now I still travel, but not nearly so frequently. And at almost 13 years old, with a new puppy in the house, my senior dog continues to age like fine wine. Continue reading My dog is like a fine wine, better with age →

Do you love to pet your dog? Does your dog love it too? Are you sure?

Here’s a family safety video with a way to ask your dog if he or she likes the way you are petting. I call it the 5-Second Rule, and every person who interacts with a dog, cat, or even horse should know it, because it’s excellent bite prevention and also just basic polite manners! Teaching it to children will avoid bites and also teach the concept of setting their own boundaries for safe interactions.

Continue reading How to Avoid Dog Bites (plus Be More Fun and Less Annoying) →

How does your dog ask for what he wants? Does she get dinner by barking? Does he get through the door by shoving past you?

In any home, whether it has dogs in it or not, good manners are appreciated. Things like pushing past your parents to rush outside or bugging them for candy while they were working were probably not allowed when you were young and they show that your relationship with your dog is not as strong as it could be. There’s no need to yell at your dog when he does things like bolt out the door or bark, whine, or jump for attention. What you need to do is teach your dog how ask for what he wants or needs in a way that fits with your family.

As with all of the training methods that we recommend, we want you to set your dog up for success. Cue or show the dog what you want her to do (in words that she knows or by reinforcing behaviors you like), and ignore the tricks you don’t want in your dog’s toolbox for getting what he wants. You get what you pay for with dogs. If it works for them, they’ll keep doing something, even if you don’t like it.

Continue reading Say Please Protocol (or “Using Real Life Rewards”) →

It’s not just about getting behavior to change. The learner’s motivation for changing has a profound impact on the arc of future behavior. For example, getting a child to stop picking on someone to avoid punishment is not the same as teaching them empathy and the power of compassion.

When I teach humans or other animals, I want behavior change to be for the right reasons, whenever possible, so that the lessons can keep propagating forward over time, like ripples in a pond. That’s why I train dogs the way I do, and why I’m a huge fan of nonviolent communication (more about that in my How to Human class).

I like to think of two opposite forces that inspire behavior: attraction (I want) and repulsion (I don’t want). You can imagine these as physical forces, like gravity or what happens when you bring two magnets together in different ways. One way pulls them together in a very strong bond. Reverse that, and they’re pushing apart.

If you had one magnet and wanted to move the other one around without touching the second magnet, how would you do it? You can move the second magnet around very reliably if you use attraction. You can still move the magnet with repulsion, but pushing is less efficient than pulling, and sometimes shoves it in unpredictable directions.

Let’s go back to animals. By attraction, I mean that the animal is inspired to do the behavior. For example, there’s a smell across the room, so the dog walks over to investigate. The smell pulls him over. Or you ask the dog to sit and he does so because he has a history of getting treats for sitting. By sitting, he moves toward the opportunity to get a treat. It’s like the treat pulled him into sitting, so that’s why I call this attraction. Continue reading Animal Magnetism: Is Your Training Attracting or Repelling? →

The Canine Flu outbreak in Chicago is serious and responsible dog lovers are being cautious, not taking their dogs to parks and other such areas. This flu is a virus that US dogs have never been exposed to. It’s a big deal.

But what worries me more is what is going to happen later with Chicago’s puppies, because you really only get one chance at good socialization. Will we have a rash of dog aggression showing up in 2016, from all of these puppies who missed out on meeting other dogs? Will people say “my dog was a Chicago Flu Puppy” to explain why they lack social skills and show aggression?

Continue reading Dog Aggression Outbreak in Chicago in 2016? →

Continue reading You’re Not Losing Your Mind, You’re Mourning: Grief from the Loss of Your Dog →